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Messages By: frog2006
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August 1, 2006, 2:43 pm PDT
 Quote From: heren44 There is NOTHING worse than being BiPolar, except BiPolarII. I have been diagnosed as BiPolar II, and it is a HORRIBLE disease to try and live with! My youngest daughter was diagnosed at 13, before I was-and I went thru a living HELL with her. In and out of hospitals; every other day taking her to counselors; twice a week taking her to phyciatrists; holding her and loving her with all I had when the voice of "Weird Al Yankovich" took over her head! The first time she was hospitalized, they diagnosed her as phscofrenic-that scared me to death. Then the second time she was hospitalized, they said no-she was just suffering from depression; then finally, we got a wonderful Dr. that came from the Queens in NYC and believe me; she had seen everything!!!! She said absoulutly NOT; both of the diagnosis given to my daughter was wrong-and the 12 pills they had her on a day had to stop. By this time, she had stopped going to school because all the kids in school had found out she had been hospitalized in the Mental Behavior Hospital, and they were all making fun of her, and calling her names-even her so called 'friends'! This Dr. put her back in the hospital one day, after we (my daughter & I) were shopping and she snapped, and lodged herself between 2 pop machines outside the store, and was yelling at people to help her that I beat her!! After about 3 minutes, she snapped out of it, and wondered what she was doing inbetween the pop machines and came out and got in the car. She was totally exhausted, and I had contacted the Dr and they said bring her straight to the hospital for a direct admit. On this admit, she was combative. But, this Dr diagnosed her as BiPolar II; with extreme depression-ADD; and extreme anxiety disorder. At that point, her concentration time was 6 minutes. This school district in North East, approximately 10miles east of Erie PA, that she was attending told me they could not do anything for her; they were not equipped to handle a child with her problems; so we had to move. When we moved to Jamestown NY, she still could not go back to school, as she was deathly afraid of all the new kids. When we went into the school to register her, you could literally see her chest shaking. I home schooled her until she turned 16; then she gave it up-as much as I begged her; her faith in herself was completely shot. And the worst part was; she was an A-B student!!! After that, about a year later-I had a nervous breakdown. My family Dr immediately sent me into counseling and that was 6 years ago. I am still in counseling; and seeing a Dr once a month. I am also BiPolar II; with extreme anxiety disorder; and extreme agoraphobia. It is living hell! I can be sitting there fine; and all of a sudden, something washes over me, and I just want to throw something-wreck anything I can get my hands on!! And I can't understand why this happens; I am on 5 different physic meds-but it doesn't completely take care of everything. All I know is it would be much worse if I was not on my meds!! There are chips out of my tiles in my kitchen where I have thrown cups; chips off my wall where I have thrown things; holes in my doors where my daughter and I have punched them. And Lord help us; it's nothing that at the time, we can control!! The feelings go away after a few minutes-but during those few minutes a living hell!! There are times I just feel like giving up; stop taking all these meds I'm on; and just let go; I CAN NOT STAND LIVING WITH THIS MENTAL ILLNESS ANYMORE!!!! I would like your help if at all possible. I'm sure there are MANY people out there much worse off than me, and God knows my heart goes out to them, but I honestly can see how some people just end it all!!!! It gets to that point in my feelings alot lately. Thank you for your time; and please; have a nice day. And again, thank you for listening to me! heren44@hotmail.com hchilds@stny.rr.com heebee44@yahoo.com i know how ur daughter feels about the whole school thing i am 18 years old and i was in the same boat as her about the teasing and looks.It's totally horrible i was put in the hospital for 2 weeks and my life has never been the same since..it's a horrible disease to live with and you just kinda have to take it like ok this is what god gave me now how can i make this work and try and get through this the best i can..I am a suiside survivor and you know life is more than you know i hurt so many people when i tryed to slit my wrist and i hit the bottom of the black hole at that time and never wanna be there again |
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