Messages By: david80127

I too was diagnosed at age 40, am 44 now.  I can look back and see the BP throughout my life.  It too is in my family.....my grandfather was rumored to be paranoid sz.  My 76 year old mom is probably an undiagnosed quick cycler BPII.  I agree it is frustrating that noone has the answers but we all must do the best we can each day as that is all we have.  There are no quarantees, but we can manage this pretty well,

You mentioned that you are anxious and have panic attacks.  I associate this with fear.  Is that too simple or is it accurate?  Do you know what you are fearful of?  When I was having my manic episodes, I have had four major ones in the past three years resulting in hospitalizations, my first one or two episodes had intense anxiety/pyschosis associated with it.  My fear was of dying.  Episode three and four did not have anxiety or psychosis, as I learned not to be fearful of death, that I have eternal life, thanks be to God.  Yes, my spiritual faith has deepened and grown to a point which helps me manage my BP, but I still HAVE to take my meds