Messages By: nomorehg

I too have survived HG twice. I love my children with all of my being, but can relate to having lapsed judgement from time to time due to the relentlessness of my illness. No one can understand a woman's heartache, physical and mental anguish, and actual torment that HG can cause, unless you have endured it.

Yes, Allison made a very bad decision when she violated her visitation guidelines... BUT she should have never lost her children and should have never been forced into giving them up for adoption. She needed love, support, and help in all manners during the pregnancy and afterwards. She should not be deemed a criminal, but should be granted the help that she needs to recover from her illness (physically and mentally).

I really feel for her children. I pray that they will know their mother throughout their childhood and that she will have the opportunity to share life with them. I pray that they will know their mother's intent and heart in this matter and others.

I am so thankful that Dr. Phil is addressing HG. Too many of us have suffered without the support that we need. So many in our society simply don't understand the impact this disease has on our lives. Thank you Dr. Phil.

And to those who have also survived HG... I will be watching the show with all of you. I suspect I will be crying the whole time. As this day approaches, I have been reliving much of the pain my family and I have endured through our pregnancies and life with HG. I'm prepared and ready to see the show, and will continue to pray for all involved with this show and for those who have or are currently suffering from HG. Blessings to all of you. You are angels.

Trust me, it is so hard to care for a marriage, let alone a toddler while trying to survive a HG pregnancy that requires constant fluids. If I had been properly diagnosed with HG during my first pregnancy, I would have never wanted to have a second child through my own pregnancy. We are now talking about adoption down the road as our desire to have a larger family remains with us but we know that we simply could not manage another HG pregnancy.

I'm sorry you and your wife wish for more children but fear HG. All I can say is that there are so many others out here that feel the same way.

Blessings to you and your wife.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I have read that back 40+ years treatment was unknown other than to rehydrate with IVs. I'm so sorry to read that your doctor did nothing to help you. My first pregnancy was very similar. I was told to "suck it up and move on with life; life is not fair," by my doctor. Needless to say, I found a new doctor for my second pregnancy, but still didn't know what HG was until my disability form were being filled out.

I'm thankful that you survived your experience. I would not have lived through my pregnancies without IV fluids.

I wonder if by chance you were my nurse at all during my hospitalizations... Too bad this board doesn't allow us to IM eachother. Thanks for being a supporter and helper with other HG moms! I volunteer around town when I learn of others struggling as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

- From another Gator Mommy.

Dr. Phil,

Thank you so much for addressing HG and for assisting Allison with addressing her medical condition so that the nation can begin to understand her story and not miss the 'duress' portion.

Please consider taping and airing an entire show or a series of shows addressing all of HG. There is so much more to this disease and clearly many whom have not suffered from it still do not get the full picture (based on your message board) and those of us who have dealt with it could really use your help. Here are some suggested topics to think about covering withing HG:

1. Telling the story of the countless women who had HG 10-50 years ago who never had help because OBs didn't know what to do. (There are still women today that deal with this even though it's more widely discussed among OB professionals.)

2. Addressing how family members don't know who to cope with it. This disease hits really hard when family members (parents, spouses, etc.) tell the woman "it's all in their head" or "to just get up and do something, don't just lie there," etc.  Additionally, these family members can get very frustrated, thus verbal abuse and potentially physical abuse (through denial of help) can easily take place.

3. Addressing the children and their needs while they wait for mommy to give birth.

4. Addressing the pain endured by the marriage while everyone waits for HG to end. This is the big ticket!! Marriages suffer, hurt and they simply are on hold while the wife is very ill and nearly non-existant in the marriage relationship and the husband is left to tend to his wife's every need, hold his job to financially support the family, accept that there will be no physical contact and intimacy until the wife heals from the pregnancy, and in many cases can't even be in the same room as his wife because his smell will make her vomit. This is so distructive and yet we HG survivors have endured it, are dealing with it and no one knows how to help. Then, once the pregnancy is over, if the marriage is still in existance, both have to some how adjust to life with a new baby (if all goes well with the pregnancy) while spending a significant amount of time trying to heal the marriage and repair all of the damage from the pregnancy. My husband and I actually devoted an entire year to this healing process. This means I planned not to work and instead spend time at home to help our older child heal from missing me so much through pregnancy and help our marriage heal. Intimacy is the hardest obstical to over come for a HG mom.

5. Finally, helping the HG mother heal emotionally. We moms feel robbed of so many joys as our pregnancies are nightmares. We are damaged and have a hard time looking at food for several weeks post-partem and live with fear that we might get sick again. We never want to be pregnant again, and thus deal with the loss of knowing we can't have more kids unless we are blessed through adoption. It's a rough rollercoaster. We are also so scared of intimacy for several reasons and we often times can't stand the our home. I actually repainted our house and got all new furniture during my healing process because I couldn't stand being in the bedroom that I spent countless hours getting sick in.

This disease is so hard to over come. So much more needs to be addressed. And yes, so many health care professionals don't get it! I had great treatment during my last pregnancies, but when I went to tell them about the show... it fell on death ears and I left the conversation feeling as though they look at me as a wack-o. Very sad. It's not just morning sickness or a bad case of the ickies (as I commonly heard)... it's so much more.

Thanks again Dr. Phil.