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November 22, 2005, 12:01 pm CST

Being single in a couple oriented world

Being single for the most part is okay..yes, lonely at times..but here the state I live in it is VERY family oriented and couple oriented ( youngest age percentage at marriage  in the nation), so when you go to a movie alone or dinner alone...they have so much disbelief that a woman can or will go by herself...sometimes they have to shout it ...ONLY ONE or JUST ONE!!!!  I try to make jokes like yes, unless you can find me a date...or if I am really annoyed by the hostess I will say...it is allowed here, isn't it.?..I think they don't even realize how it sounds like I have a disease and it will rub off on others....I am more amazed at woman in their 70's and 80's that cannot believe I do not have a man at my side. And I cannot believe how many are amazed that I will go on vacation by myself.  I would like a wonderful man in my life again but I am not going to wait to do activities and places to visit, it may never happen and then I will have missed out on so many opportunities I wonder if any other woman at my age (53) or women at any age have this same thing happen to them wherever they live, or is it just my location? 

 
November 22, 2005, 12:10 pm CST

You are alright

Quote From: diane02

I am so glad I found this message board because it is something that I have been dealing with.  I am single and have never been married, nor do I have any kids.  I have been in relationships but always come out wishing I had never gotten into them.  I guess I am too independent.  I just don't feel that I am a "needy" person.  My 2 best friends can't be alone and are always frustrated because they can't find or keep a man around.  They are constantly stressed out or fighting with their boyfrriends.  I always sacasticlaly tell them "Gee you're having such a good time, maybe I need a boyfriend too".  They are so desperate sometimes its very sad to watch them.   While they are so busy trying to find somebody I feel that they are missing out on so many other things in life.  But I suppose they think I am missing out on something too.  I just don't want to spend all my time going from bar to bar  looking for somebody.  I don't think you're going to find what you want there either.  And I don't want to go on-line either.  That scares me.  One of my friends has met some guys on there.  She says they're nice, but I don't have a good feeling about doing anything like that.   

  

I guess I just want someone to tell me if I am the one whose missing out or what? 

I don't think you are missing out...if you cannot be comfortable by yourself and with yourself...you will never be good with someone else...yes, everyone thinks you need a man beside you...and of course the right man for you...not just any man. You have to be careful no matter if you met at church, online, through friends, because there are some con-artists out there looking for a woman to prey upon...BUT...they are also lots of good men...they are just hard to find sometimes...I haven't given up..and I am age 53..been married and divorced twice...found the love of my life...had the best two years ever in my adult life before cancer took him three years ago. I haven't found anyone in this time yet that interests me or I interest them..but I just figure maybe this is time for me to do things and really figure out a lot of things. Never had time when raising my kids and trying to make it work with my ex's..I have learned so many things about myself and what strengths I do have and what I WANT in life and in a relationship...so do not give up!!!!!
 

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