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Messages By: miche1972

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August 9, 2006, 12:05 pm CDT

wow

I have only seen the first 5 minutes of the show and it made me cry and terrified me at the same time. al i can say is wow!

 
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August 9, 2006, 12:48 pm CDT

3 year old

Quote From: sundevil_rn

I hope someone can give me some good advice because I am at my wits end.  I am a stay at home mother of a 3 year old.  I worked 2 nights a week until she was 2 1/2, but now I am home full time.  The problem is that she hardly wants anything to do with her father.  If he and I are in the same room/place with her, she will always come to me for whatever it is she needs.  If she is hurt or upset, she always comes to me.  If my husband tries to play with her or hold her, she gets extremely upset (most of the time) and doesn't want to be with him.  The worst part is that she then runs to me yelling "mommy".  I know part of the reason she acts this way is because she is with me most of the time.  But is this normal?  Is this just a phase she is going through? I know this hurts him a lot.  I know I would be devastated if it happened to me.  This situation is causing a huge strain in our marriage.  He says that I need to be harder on her - to make her go to him.  We argue about this a lot and I'm very upset by this.  He blames me for her behavior because, as he said, I don't do anything about it.  That isn't true.  I purposely leave the room or if we are out, I leave them alone so they can have time together.  I often ask her to play with papa.  I don't feel like I should have to force her to be with him.  My daughter is a happy child, but I want her to be just as happy with her dad as she is with me.  Any advice would greatly be appreciated.
my son is the same way with his dad lately. I too am home withhim 24/7. I make it a point of sending them out together in the evenings and on the weekends. That does seem to help. He still prefers me at home,but at least than they get some 1 on 1 time too.
 
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August 13, 2006, 10:47 pm CDT

cheaters

Quote From: flthomcat

Your attitude toward the non-married cheater is why adultry has become acceptable. When did it become ok for a single woman (or man) to want to take a married person's spouse? When did we stop calling her (or him) a tramp, a gold-digger, a slut and all those other terms that seem to fit so well?

 

Yes, the married spouse shares lots of the responsbility (to his wife), but we as women (I am not a man, but the same goes for men in this) OWE IT to our fellow human beings NOT to take what they have. We owe it to them to be honest, have intregrity and to say NO to any married man (or woman) who sets his eyes on us.

 

We are just as responsible as the married spouse. We are not animals who can't control our emotions or who we jump into bed with. It's OUR RESPONSIBILITY to be disgusted when a married man (or woman) wants us. It's OUR RESPONSIBILITY to condemn those who find cheating acceptable.

 

When we start putting the responsiblity on BOTH the married spouse and the mistress (or male version), only THEN will be show that we are a more honest, compassionate and fair society.

 

I have SADLY been asked out by quite a few married men in my married lifetime (of 17 years) because I am very open and friendly. They mistake that for flirting at times. However, once these married men asked me out, I ended my friendships with them. I lost ALL respect for them. How dare they think so low of me that I could/would cheat on my spouse or could/would want THEM when they are married. I would NEVER do that to another human being. We all shouldn't be able to do it!

 If nothing else the "not married" person who is willing to have an affiar with someone else's spouse owes to the children that may be involved to leave the married party alone !!  

 
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August 15, 2006, 11:35 am CDT

i agree

Quote From: mscoffee

I'm 41, 5'4" and weight about 120 lbs.  physically more attractive than a vast majority of 20 somethings.  No pregnancies on this body.  Lets not stereotype that everyone goes down the sh*thole after a certain age.
also i am in my mid 30's, 3 kids and still consider my appearance to be important for me and my spouse. one should not use the excuse of having kids a reason to let themselves go, nor age, once i hot 30 i had to really start being careful and watching! while being pregnanty at 30! HAVING BABIES AND AGING IS SO EXCUSE TO LET YOURSELF GO TOT HE DOGS!
 
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August 15, 2006, 11:48 am CDT

i don't think so

Quote From: dumbguy

I hate to admit it but I want my hot wife back.  I still love her dearly, and I never make any negative comments about her weight or appearance.  My father was very critical of my mother's weight, and I know how much it hurt her.  I do my darnedest to be supportive and let her know I love her.  My problem is I don't want to have sex with her.  Analise it however you want, but her body is not appealing to me anymore sexually.  We are affectionate towards one another.  We kiss, hug, and hold hands.  I'm not ashamed of her.  She is a wonderful woman that I feel fortunate to be with. 

Before anyone asks, I'm not the same weight I was when we married.  I'm currently 5'10" 180# up from 150#.  Some of the weight gain was muscle but most wasn't. My peak weigh was 210#.  No, I'm not the most attractive man ever, but I'm not looking for my wife to be a supermodel either.  I would like her to get down into the 150# range.

How crappy does this make me?  Should we run to the divorce lawyers? 
i don't think that is crappy of you, i think we are all entitled to have our spouse stay in shape! and want to keep themselves up.
 
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August 15, 2006, 12:10 pm CDT

08/15 "You're Not Hot Enough"

Quote From: wildwest63

i am tired of all the excuses overweight people use for their appearance and also why dr. phil doesn't place a copy of his own weight loss book right in their lap!  aging has very little to do with metabolism.  what slows down your metabolism is lack of activity, calorie burning and laziness.  you don't have to be a size 4 to be beautiful but far too many women get their man and then just quit trying to look good.  men are very visual and yes, they married you partly because of how you looked when you were dating.  women should take pride (not be prideful) in their looks.  i want to make my husband proud when we go somewhere.  i don't  want him to be ashamed or embarrassed of my looks so i try to take care of myself--eat good, exercise, etc. and consequently yes, he thinks i'm HOT.  quit making all the excuses--get off your duff, quit eating all the junk, and be healthy enough to live to run and play with your kids and live long enough to one day be a great, great, grandmother! you have ONE body--make and keep it healthy, strong and beautiful.
I do not understand the whole "letting yourself go" thing. My boyfriend actually told me i look better now than when we met years ago! As I get older I am more concerned with how I look and what I weigh. not because anyone else thinks I should! but because I think i should. I absolutely find the " having kids" excuse just that............... an excuse! i still wear my clothes from before I had kids. I am a size 5/6, have had 3 kids and am in my mid 30's!!  my 13 year old daughter is proud to have amother that cares about how she looks and likes when her friends all tell her her mother is "HOT"  It is allin how you want to feel and look. not what "made you look that way" I want to be considered hot! I liek to know when I go out I get looked at! superficial? maybe....................... but I have pride in myself and how others see me!
 
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August 15, 2006, 12:25 pm CDT

ok

Quote From: zjajmom

Obviously you are not overweight or have never been overweight.  I do agree that some people who are overweight have gotten that way from being lazy; HOWEVER, some people are that way for many other reasons......genetics and health do also play a role.  Yes, exercising and eating right will help with this, but not always.  So before you start throwing those "stones", you might want to get to know some of these "overweight" people first before judging them.  Some of them are so beautiful on the inside that it radiates through and through!  On the other hand, I know a lot of fit, beautiful people who are VERY ugly inside, and I would rather NOT know them!  

My genetics in my family say I shoudl be overweight! I am not. I try very very hard to not let what the genetics say................decide my fate!  What is wrong with caring about how you look!

 

  I also know people that are a heart attack waiting to happen! and wonder why? but still drink the pop by the gallon and buy chocolate bars in bulk! than wonder why it hurts to move and walk for any length of time

 
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August 16, 2006, 11:39 pm CDT

i am the same way

Quote From: javagirl69

I agree that one shouldn't let themselves go. But it should never be for a man. YOU NEED TO DO IT FOR YOU--because you love yourself and want to be happy. I lost some weight then hit a plateau and got lazy but I'm on it again. MY husband is very handsome and he's never made remarks like "you're fat" but it's how I FEEL that affects things. If he doesn't shower me with compliments or notice I'm wearing something new, I get irritated. We both watch adult movies and I find myself irritated and jealous now..when I'm looking good, nothing gets to me--I'm the first to compliment a beautiful man, woman and love sex. I find myself acting in ways that are very insecure and it's ugly. So I've decided to get off my rear and work out or just live with that fact that I won't be dropdead beautiful because I didn't want to work for it and chose some fattening food instead. I feel bad for my husband--he tries to be so good and my daughter says, "Mom, will you work out because it's hell when you don't feel pretty." I'm usually deep and focused on other things. I guess I never realized that my self-worth was always linked to my physical appearance. Then again it is harsh to go from stopping traffic and getting compliments daily to being dismissed. It just hurts my ego too much. I don't wanna get old, I don't want to lose my looks!! HELLP!
I am doing it for me, because I don't want to be the frumpy old mom, i like how I feel when i do myself up and I like to feel good about myself. I do it for him and for me. I like the way he notices me when I am all done up. It is a self esteem booster.................IMO
 
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August 17, 2006, 8:27 am CDT

08/08 Cheaters

Quote From: twoboysmama

I am worried that my husband of 2 1/2 years is cheating.  He has been spending time with his friends wife while his friend is at work (and he is away from our home at work).  He says it because the kids want to play together....He says I am always welcome to come along with him to work, but I am not that thrilled to just hang out after work and drink and smoke (not my idea of a good time).....

 

Are there any HUGE signs?  I think I know the usual signs....

 

 

Please help!

I myself would be flipping out that my husband would be spending time there without me and wonder what the hell is going on!! But that is just me.
 
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September 9, 2006, 10:29 am CDT

thank you

Quote From: cjluck

I have a friend whose 3 year old daughter has been diagnosed with Angelman's Syndrome.  I had never heard of this before and read about it on their website.  Sometimes, are these "brats" really brats or could they have a physical problem?  I realize that parents today have inconsistencies in their love and disciplinary actions and create a lot of these "brats" but I also believe that there may be a physical reason for it and we as people should not be immediately judgemental in our thoughts. 

 I have an 8 year old son who has ADHD,ODD and Bipolar! I avoid outings as much as possible but there are times I have to take him out and let me tell you it is never fun! he takes his medications all the time,but being in stores with a large amount of people is instant reason for a melt down.

 

   His behaviors are no better at home. he is under the care of a child psychiatrist since he was 3 and everyday is a little harder with him.         

 

     I have gone as far as to have him removed from the home because I was ready to have a breakdown.

 

         But the meaning of all this is not allkids arebrats because of the parents, some kids just can't help it. As trying as they are, they don't want to act that way allot of the time and acting that way does upset them as much as me or you allot of the time.

 

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