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Messages By: mantoine

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upset
August 10, 2006, 9:39 am CDT

COPING WITH STDS

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN.  IT'S HARD.  I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY HUSBAND GAVE ME A STD.  I AM VERY UPSET.  THIS WILL MOST LIKELY END MY MARRIAGE OF 13 YEARS.  I DON'T UNDERSTAND  WHY THIS HAPPENED.
 
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August 11, 2006, 1:47 pm CDT

Coping with STDs

Quote From: armymom35150

Hi yall,

I have had to deal with this. I never have sex with anyone without telling them first, and starting to use protection..but the guys generally give up the protection as time goes on. The main thing is to be honest with them...and see what happens..if they want to be with you..they will either use protecton and stay with you...or not use it and stay with you. Some dont seem too offended by it, and there are ways to test drive their reactions to things...esp...since this std gets all the bad jokes ever made of it. And considering i only had one outbreak EVER....its a load to carry and deliver..so a guys got to care about you to stay around after you tell him.

 

Just look at it this way.....if that runs him off...so would have cancer or you getting sick....he would not have been around till death do you part...really!! So not worth your time either.

 

I know the mental angish this all brings...i just hope what i have learned from others reactions helps you to relax and just think about how to enjoy your life and your sex life again...it can be done...i am sure of it.

You are so blessed you have not had any out breaks.  they are so painful.  You should think God for that.  Do you know of any online support sites for people with STD?
 
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August 14, 2006, 4:54 am CDT

Coping with STDs

It is hard to believe anything these days.  Let me just share this with you all.  I know that God has power to do all things.  When  my doctor suspected I had herpies, I came home and told my husband.  The first thing out of his mouth was, how did I get this. (meaning himself) because I told him I have not been unfaithful to him the 13 years we have been together.  He immediately went to get tested and was positive.  A few years ago he had the sores on his penis and the first though in my mind was herpies.  But for some reason I put it out of my mind because he said to me that he got this after haveing sex with me.  He was tested, but was negative.  To make a lon story short, after I had the out break and it is determined that we do have herpies, I was ready to get a divorce because we had not talked about it.  I prayed for God to lead me in the right directiion.  Well, I'm 99% positive that my husband contracted the disease, because he said  before he met me he had an out breake and the doctor gave him a shot and some med and he never had it again.  But after doding a lot of research, I found out that you could have this for years aned not have any signs at all.  We both have had multiple partners over the years with unprotected sex, so now I'm not sure who gave it to who.  I think God allowed me to see it this way for his own purpose.  If you believe in God and his word, marriage is until death.  So nothing excuses divorce except death.  What I had to remember is that I am working towards my heavenly home, not earthly.  so even though this has happen, I had to turn it over to the Master and let him work it out.  And I know he will.  Yes, I have herpies, but I'm not worried because I know who holds my future.

God Bless each of us.

 
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hopeful
August 14, 2006, 5:12 am CDT

Coping with STDs

I am currently taking Valtrex.  I think it is helping.  My doctor wants me to try it for 3 months. It's expensive, but if you have mail order, it's more affordable.  You will get 3 months supply for the price of one month going to a pharmacy.
 
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September 2, 2006, 3:48 pm CDT

Coping with STDs

Quote From: rayoflight

You obviously didn't have a good doctor. I hope your new one works out. You need to tell them what you want in a medicine so that they can find the best option for you. Don't let them give you something without having them explain it first.

 

I am happy to hear that you discuss this with your partners. Even though some ran, you made the right decision by being honest with them.

When I spoke withmy medical provider, she recommended Valtrex.  I asked her if there was another Medication not so expensive.  Yes there is, but it does not work as good and you have to take more often.  With Valtrex, you take one daily.  It works ok at least for the itching.  As far as the outbreaks, I still have them.  But she gave me a cream Denavir 1% that works really great.  It is just as expensive. Having Herpes is really a life changing experience.  I really get down when I have these outbreaks.  I don't know which is worse, the outbreak or the itching.  But, I am hanging in there because I know that God allows you to go thru things to strengthen your spritual growth.  He takes you thru to get you to something better.  It could be a testimony to help someone else.  Stay strong all that has the disease.

 

 

 
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September 13, 2006, 9:26 am CDT

When to tell

Quote From: cooperc50

When is the right time to tell a prospective partner, after the 1st date, the 3rd date or when the petting gets serious.  I have not dated much after finding out I had herpes, got it in a long relationship and found out afterward he cheated on me and condoms weren't used.  I used condoms every time with other parteners in between me finding out and the relationship so I feel better there.  But how do you date again, one person said if they really like you they won't run but it beats you down emotionally after a while when the negative reactions keep coming out.  I'm not sure what to do, should I stop dating all together. I have found that the std websites aren't very good, ad's, responses, etc.  I guess it will be in the back of my mind with the dates util I tell them so I can't really relax and have a good time because I know eventually i have to tell them, I don' t want to get hurt and I don' t want them to get hurt either.  What do you do?

In my opinion, if you think the relationship is going somplace, you should be up front as soon as possible.  Put yourself in the other person's place.  When would you like to know.  How important would it be for you to find out.  If this person really cares for you and want a relationship with you, then he/she should be ok using condoms.  This disease is no joke, it takes an emotionally toll on you.  I don't know where your relatiionship is with God, but you have to constantly be in prayer.  You feel so down a lot of time. Everytime you get a outbreak especially, you just want to kick yourself.

 

 

 
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October 18, 2006, 10:29 am CDT

Coping with STDs

Quote From: jessilynn6

Unfortunately, you just have to do this.  If you let it go untreated, he can have all kinds of problems, including prostatitis and others. 

 

If you were apart from your current bf, had you all talked about being with others?

 

In any case, he might be able to forgive you for the other man, but he probably would stay mad for a long long time if he has severe problems from an untreated std.

 

Good luck,

Jess

I agree with the other response.  You just have to be up front and talk about it.  The bright side is at least it is curable.  what if it was herpes, not cureable.  As with anything, it the love is real, then he should respect and love you more for being honest.  Youn contracted this disease while apart, so it's not like you were cheating on him.  But until everthing is in the open, you will not be happy.
 

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