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Messages By: kiwichatterbox

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September 20, 2006, 5:49 am CDT

The human Race

 I'm in an interracial relationship and about to get married. My fiance is from Neder Saxony, Germany (hmm, dont know if thats spelled right) and I am a kiwi girl born and bred. Jörn is 100% Northern German and I am a wide mix of things, Scottish, Irish, Maori and I just got told a few months ago that one of my grandfathers was also British. I led a happy childhood, nobody picked on me about my race and they shouldnt either. Race doesnt define who you are, it just helps define a little of what you look like. Who you are is shaped from who your parents were. The only reason I wouldnt marry Jörn would be if he wasnt a nice person, nobody cares that he is German and I am a bit of everything. We are happy, our families can see that and nobody would ever want to take that away from us.
To anyone that doesnt like people because of their race, get a life. If you have to hate something, hate the person that hurt you not the race because if you do that then you might miss out on some wonderful opportunities.  I once watched a talk show about relationships and how black and white people shouldnt be together and a person made the comment "well you dont see cats and dogs together" I feel the appropriate answer to that would be "but cats or dogs dont care if their partner is black, white, gray or otherwise. You dont really see humans with animals, and that would be similar to a cat being with a dog." White, black or otherwise....if you are happy and nobody is doing anything unlawful then go out and do it. As long as your partner treats you right, ignore what people say about their race, because there should only be one race that we as people are defined as....
The Human Race.
 
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September 20, 2006, 5:57 am CDT

The Best Baby Advice I Got

Quote From: mommy2travis

I am a navywife and stay at home mom of a 21 month old boy.I am also 31 weeks pregnant with my second boy.I am due in november and I know the changes will effect my 21month old.My husband has recently returned from a 6 month deployment and my son has seriouse seperation anxiety.My husbands family is going on a five day cruiz just a few weeks after I deliver my baby and he wants to tqake my 21 month old on the cruiz.I wont be attending the cruiz due to just having a baby and I am affraid that my older son will have a very hard time being away from mommy for five days when I have been the one consistent person in his life.What should I do?
 There isnt alot that can be done, at least in my opinion, about seperation anxiety. My daughter will be 2 in December and we have a very strong bond which grew when she got pertusis (whooping cough) at 6 weeks. The only thing that I have been able to do when I have to leave her is to get onto the same level as her, look her in the eye and tell her that I will be back soon then cuddle her.
Maybe before the cruise try leaving your child for overnight stays at a friend or relatives house, then he will get used to knowing that he will be able to see you again in just a little while.
Hope this helps some
 
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September 20, 2006, 6:07 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: helpamomout

MY 5YR/O DAUGHTER HAS SLEPT WITH HER DAD SINCE DAY ONE!!! WE KNOW IT IS WORNG..BUT HE IS A SOFTY AND SHE JUST GOT USED TO DAD GIVING IN,NOW WE ARE HAVING A VERY TOUGH TIME GETTING HER TO BED,SHE WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET HIM TO GO TO BED WITH HER EVERY NIGHT NOW,WE TRY SO HARD TO STOP THIS BUT SHE WILLL BE UP ALL NIGHT,I (MOM) TRY TO SLEEP WITH HER BUT SHE WILL WAKE UP GO RIGHT TO DAD...PLEASE HELP...THANK YOU LAURA 

Rewarding children for good behaviour often works, but make sure the reward is something good for them not junk food and such. Tell your child if she can sleep in her own bed then daddy will make a special time where she can do whatever she wants with daddy. Maybe giving her something to work towards will break the habit. Good luck.
 
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September 20, 2006, 6:14 am CDT

The Funny Things They Say and Do

My neice is a real little chatter box. She is also very very smart. When she was two we were driving to Lumsden, which is an hour away from my hometown of Invercargill. Kali was singing us all a song and she kept forgetting the words so to distract her I pointed out the window and said "whats that Kali" she turned and faced the direction I was pointing, then turned and looked back at me and said with a strange look on her face "thats a window, Aunty Lisa"
 
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September 20, 2006, 10:52 pm CDT

The Funny Things They Say and Do

Something else from my little neice, also when she was 2. She was sitting on her mummys lap (btw, mummy is how we spell mommy in New Zealand) and she pointed at her mummys face and said "aww does that hurt, mummy" and her mother answered "no Kali, it's just a pimple" and Kali looked thoughtful for a moment then replied "I like your pimple, mummy"
 
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September 20, 2006, 11:01 pm CDT

The Meaning of "Family"

Quote From: anjalie

I wish I could help you, my family needs Dr. Phil's help as well I e-mailed him one day and did not receive a response keep trying call and write him often and let if know how much you need his help. I'll pray that he can help you as well as me!
 Sometimes help can come from sharing with others. Doctor Phil is great but he can't work complete miracles in the sense that he can't talk to every person on here. I believe everyone probably has written a message to him at some stage and of course there is no way anyone could reply to all that mail. Try sharing it with some people here, maybe we can offer some advice or solutions to help you and if not then you may feel a little bit better because you won't be alone any more.

 
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September 20, 2006, 11:06 pm CDT

The Meaning of "Family"

Quote From: shakiro

 I'm 20 years old and the middle child of three girls. My older sister is going on with her independent college life in a different state. my younger sister is severely handicapped and has been placed in a place that can take care of her better than we can, but is also in a different state. my parents have divorced at the beginning of last year. I live with my mother, but it feels like I'm living on my own. for the last 10 years, my mother had worked constantly, and I never saw her when my sisters and I needed her the most. It still hasn't changed. she's never home. and if she is, she's sleeping and doesn't want to be disturbed. if she isn't sleeping, she's either working, out with different dates, or working out with her friends. my mother and I moved from one state to another, and I don't have any friends in this state yet. the only person I have is my mother and she's never here anyways. she knows absolutely nothing about me anymore. I don't have enough money to move out of our cheap trailer house. even now, she's never there when I need to talk to her. she never had time for me and still never has time. and it doesn't help that half the time I'm actually afraid of her because she's inherited my grandfather's angry words, temper, and verbal harrassment towards me, my sisters, and our beloved animals. I don't want to end up like her. what should I do with barely no money, and no place to turn to?

I agree about leaving home if possible but make sure you aren't going to be taking yourself from a bad situation to a worse one. You will need money to support yourself whether you can get that from a benefit or from a job but there are always bills to pay when you have moved out. You could also try living with a friend or another family member for a while, your friends are in a different state but maybe somehow you can travel there to stay with them?
The only other thing I can think of that might work is get a relative or someone to go with you and talk to your mother, then if she gets angry about it she can't hurt you. No mother, or anybody, has the right to hurt someone, whether it be verbal or otherwise. You and your sisters need a good role model in your life and if she can't be that then she is losing one of the best things in the world, having a close bond with her children.
Be careful and good luck. I hope you can work things out. BTW if you do decide to go, take the pets with you :P
 
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September 21, 2006, 1:44 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

I used to sleep with my daughter beside me but stopped at 6 weeks when she got pertusis (whooping cough) and needed to sleep in a reclining posistion instead of lying flat. I believe sleeping with an infant in the bed is ok if you aren't a heavy sleeper and havent had any alcohol or anything that night because that also makes you sleep heavy. There are dangers to sleeping with an infant in the bed, mainly dangers from you rolling ontop the infant and suffocating him or her. The best way to have an infant beside you in bed is to put then in their bassinet or cot and lower the side so they have a space away from you but are still very close.
But no problems as long as you are smart and safe about it and also try and keep them from making it a habit because it can be very hard to break.
 
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September 22, 2006, 12:25 am CDT

True Love

Quote From: hobart7

Hi. I am new on this so here goes. Ihave met this wonderful women that makes me feel complete. She was in an abusive relationship before we met ,and seems to be scared at the same time enjoys my company. The problem I feel there is is that she uses things I have told her from my past to not be close. I am not perfect by any means as a 44 year old male. We have spent time together when we could. She lives in another state, and time is important to us. I feel I love her, and tell her I want/need her. She is the perfect women to me ,and has the mind and looks that attract me to her. I really don't understand why she brings up those thigs t hat feels like she is stuck on them. I wonder if she is backing out or never was there? I don't know. We have shared some wonderful times together, and lots phone time to. (lots). I want her in my life ,and I want to love her. Can anyone help me with these feelings or am I just not getting it?
 Woman are tricky creatures and old habits die hard. If she has been hurt in the past that badly then she will be very wary of people now. Fear is a hard thing to compete with. Maybe she has found herself getting closer to you and is worried about how it will turn out. The past is a good indicator of the future...pretty sure Dr.Phil says something similar ;) so if you have done things in the past that may indicate to her that she might have something to worry about then it will take a lot to prove that you wont hurt her. Just be there for her, dont rush her and let her come to you. If you dont force anything on her and let her make the decisions about how fast and far things go then she might feel she can trust you because you arent pushing her to do anything.
Hope this helps some.
 
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September 24, 2006, 11:37 pm CDT

Interracial Relationships

Quote From: amylynn00000

Well, I have been in a couple of interracial relationships that have all ended in fighting and yelling within my immediate family.  My family is a very close minded family they don't feel that it is right to have a relationship of any kind with anyone outside your race.  My current relationship is with someone that is from LA. that moved to Texas in 2000, everything is okay with us but he has to deal with the fact that he doesn't really get to be a part of my family's life and that he doesn't get to come around during family times.  But we do currently have a child on the way and will eventually have to break the news to the new grandparents.
I can't say that I understand where your family is coming from. It makes no sense to be angry about someone that you are happy with, unless he doesn't treat you well. Would they prefer you to get someone from your own race that you weren't so happy with. All I can say is stick up for this relationship, you have a child on the way and if you love the father then you should never throw that away. It is their own fault if they refuse to be a part of the relationship. They are being immature and thoughtless and really need to grow up and realize you are happy. Don't give up on this just because some people are close minded about race.  Just be happy :)
 

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