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April 30, 2008, 9:26 am PDT
 Quote From: sunnylashel I turned my daughter in for the conditions she was forcing her son to live in. She was given 30 days to clean it up. She proved she was working at it and they dropped the case. Once the 'threat' was over, she went back to her slovenly ways.
The thing that is hard to believe is how these folks can walk out of those homes looking perfect and squeaky clean!! My daughter has spent 19 years in the Air Force...HOW can she be such a pig at home? How can she deprive her son of a place to play or have friends over?
While she was in Iraq, my grandson and I gutted his room and redid it. The 2 cats had used his room for a litter pan so I gave them away. It hurt him but as we pulled the rug off the floor...he understood. We discovered mold and mildew also. I became physically sick several times a day! After hauling his mothers things out of his room and putting the 20 large bottles of laundry soap and 32 bottles of softener in the laundry room, went through the shopping bags and put things away...the room became manageable. We spent most of the summer on his room because we could only work on 1/4th of it at a time and I had a broken leg.
We started on her room and the laundry room. The cats had used her room also. Her room is half the basement and was piled to within inches of the ceiling. 6 months later and it looks even worse than when we cleaned it up! AND she's in debt again! I had control of her money when she was in Iraq. I got all her debts paid off and had over 5 thousand in savings for her!
I just threatened her again so she's attempting to clean up. My grandson is now 11 and it's becoming harder and harder to explain to his friends why they can't come play at his house. He can't even let them in the front door!
My daughter refuses 'professional help' because of her job in the Air Force. She has NO organizational skills. I get her organized and she does well for awhile, but eventually she buys so much that there is just NO place to go with it all. I don't know what to do anymore! You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink! She's got a huge heart and does a lot of charity work but I tell her charity begins at home and she just rolls her eyes. It's a no win situation.
I hope to learn how to get through to her by watching this show. They have to WANT help to GET help!
CPS has some very strange rules when it comes to removing a child from his home. Most of the time they just threaten. How would the school know when the child comes to school in designer clothes and squeaky clean?
Sunny It is understandable why people might think, ``why didn't their families do something?'' But until you've had a hoarder in your family, you may not understand that it's next to impossible to help hoarders - really, with much of anything. You can offer your time to clean. The behaviors will continue as soon as you leave. You can offer help with organizing bills and creating a pay-off-debt plan. It will not be followed. You can haul stuff away. There will be more the next time you arrive. It's heart-breaking to have a family member living like this, especially if children are involved. But until a hoarder wants and gets counseling, medication and a new set of habits, I maintain that there is not a heck of a lot that someone on the outside - even a family member - can do.
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