Messages By: slgraycols

With such money and relationship problems, your son sounds as if he might me more mature than she is.  My objection wouldn't be to their age but more to the fact that she is obviously immature and a manipulative user (probably was with her 3 ex husbands too, which is most likely why they aren't with her).  These kind of people exist at every age level, just like sensitive caring people exist at every age level (the ones the users take advantage of)  I think your husband is almost right.  Your son will come to his senses one day.  I don't know your son but some people don't learn too quickly, if at all from these types of relationships.  Not everyone is like that, though sometimes it might seem like it.  I think it's probably a good thing if you let him know that this woman isn't the only person like this in the world, and (when their relationship is over) to see if he is interested in discussing with you what he might think were the warning signs from the get go, why type of woman might make him happy in his life and what are the signs of that type of woman (besides the obvious cliches.)  When one is that young, one doesn't really have a good grip on users and manipulators, but might think that they are really just people down on their luck and temporarily in need.  Even when one gets older, it can be hard to tell the difference.   I don't know what his other girlfriends were like, but some people attracted, and are attracted to, users and manipulators.  For myself, when a boyfriend (or even a female friend) starts asking me to borrow or give them money, my hackles rise really high and I start looking for signs from them of bad stuff.  The last one lasted a month and I tossed  him to the curb.  This is because I've had experiences with these kind of people before and know the signs.   Still even older people get taken advantage of.

Sorry but in the eyes of the law an 18 year old is no longer a child.  I know because my nephew (18 years old) was dating a 15-16 year old and is being prosecuted now.  Sorry but in the eyes of the law an 18 year old is mature enough and able enough in judgement to be able to enroll in the military and kill others and risk his/her own death.  Sorry but an 18 year old can be hurt by or hurt a person of any age.  These tragic situations and events being posted are not necessarily a factor of age.  These situations occur even among people of the same or similar ages.  There are many relationships where one person wants permanence and the other does not.  Watch the Dr. Phil show, he has many of them as guests. 

This infuriates me and I am no one's mother in law nor daughter in law nor have i ever been.  And my one brother in law, I wasn't incredibly fond of as he started dating my sister when she was 16 or 17 and he was nearly 30 (and at first, he didn't reallly treat her child from a previous relationship as if the child were his own) but I always treated him with respect and to the day he died from asbestos issues I don't think he ever realized that I wasn't his biggest fan.  In my opinion,  this whole situation is what happens when mothers spoil their sons and don't raise them to be respectful.  They turn against the mothers and they eventually pick equally spoiled or self centered mates.  It's pretty obvious somebody spoiled the blond if she thinks she can just step in and control everything and doesn't have to be even a little bit respectful to her elders.  It is very obvious the blond's mother spoiled her just from listening to her mother speak and defend her daughter's disgusting actions and attitude.  How would she like it if the tables were turned on her?  I'd like to know what the blond's relations were like with the families of any previous boyfriends, husbands etc.  How disgusting to tear up roses and a poem that weren't meant to be offensive?  How pompous to think that she can control what people look at on the internet?  MySpace is open and if you don't want certain people looking at your MySpace page then make it private.     And if it's his choice to act like this, which I'm sure it is, it's because he is obviously spoiled.  And that is his momma's fault!  To momma's who spoil their children, stop!!!  It is just going to make people dislike them when they are older.  It's going to make their relationships more difficult.  My sister and mother chose to spoil my sister's son.  Giving him game systems and clothes that costed hundreds of dollars (and they barely have tens of dollars) no matter how he behaved or spoke.  As a consequence he grew up to be self-centered, doing whatever he wanted to whomever he wanted.  He decided to deal drugs and beat his girlfriend, with no concept of the consequences of his actions.  It's not a result being abused, it's a result of being spoiled.  He abused because he was not getting things his own way, in other words his girlfriend wasn't jumping every time he said to jump and how to jump (like his mother and grandmother usually did) and she spoke her mind to  him.  When he didn't like it, he beat her.  It's also a result of given no responsibility.  He went to prison for two years, and got out and attempted to sell drugs again.  And despite all his mother and grandmother went through and did for him during this period, he came out bad mouthing and being disrespectful to them and even tried to start selling drugs again until I gave him 'what for'.  And his mother decided she was going to buy him an Xbox 360 when he got out of prison.  How crazy is that?  (Luckily the xbox 360 she wanted to purchase for him belonged to me, and I wouldn't sell it to her.  So he didn't get it.)  They have given him everything they could and he is nasty to them and others.  I have watched them ask him for something, a bite of  his food (pizza), do something for them, or whatever and he has either told them 'no' or bristled about it. They asked  him to go to the store with a friend of theirs to help carry some things back for them, and he told them to tell the cashier to double bag the stuff.  He is so spoiled he thinks he doesn't have to start at the bottom like everyone else does.  "I don't want to go through all of that" was his response when someone suggested he sign up for interviewing and resume classes.  So his mama went out and got him a $15 an hour job and drives him back and forth every day.  He thinks he is too good to even take the bus.  Maybe all spoiled children dont' act as extreme as my nephew did but they could end up acting like this woman's son acts.  Obviously this man isn't going to start selling drugs or (hopefully) not start beating his wife but obviously he is very disrespectful to his mother and very uncaring and unfeeling about her which makes me think he has the same attitude of pompousness and self importance my nephew does.  My God, the son even said he didn't care that his mother wasn't there at the wedding.  How disgusting is that?  I am astounded!  Teach them to be respectful to others and themselves or it will backfire on you.  Just like it backfired on my sister and it is backfiring on this mother.   The mother has said again and again that she didn't start becoming combative until the other actions started.  I'm sure she isn't a saint as no one is but unless the son's mother is an obvious abuser (the mother may be somewhat blunt and outspoken-and maybe she shouldn't have stooped to their level with the emails- but they make her sound like she's a rapist, murderer, abuser and terrorist all rolled into one), but I'm sorry she is not, she doesn't deserve the treatment given to her by her son and his wife.  My god, my mother was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and my siblings and I would never ban her from my wedding or from seeing my children (if I were to have either).  And though I have considered disowning her in a fantasy world, I could never in real life for Heaven's Sakes!  Not even when I was younger and closer to the more abusive years.  I understand what she has went through in her life.  What is wrong with you, sir?  I hope you two children read this, you are both spoiled, selfish brats.  GROW UP!!  I can't even contain my disgust with you two.  You will see in later years sir, what this is like?  Son, this blond girl's craziness and control will turn on you.  Your children will probably act ten times worse than you two with two spoiled selfish parents raising them.  The blond may be attractive on the outside but she is ugly on the inside.  And sorry son, UNLESS you were acting this badly towards your  mother 'before' you hooked up with blondie, then your actions 'are' mainly because of and influenced by blondie, and you need to be a man.  Obviously you were still living with her or something, why did she even have to forward your mail.  Don't you know how to go to the post office and fill out the forwarding cards?  What did you expect your mother to do, throw the mail away?  Who is going to be there when you and blondie get divorced?  Who would be there if you became a paraplegic tomorrow?  Blonde girl might, and you might think right now that she might, she might even say that she will, but deep down inside you can't really be sure.  She's young.  She wants a life.  She would eventually leave you and/or you would tell her to leave. But your mama would be there wiping your stinking butt and caring for you until she can't no more.  Think about that.  ONLY YOUR MAMA WILL.  Only your mama will.  And don't be so blind to think that it can't happen.  Don't burn your bridges.  But your mother has obviously spoiled you enough so that you know underneath that your mother will be there no matter how you act towards her now, because that's how mothers are.  That, again, is her fault for spoiling you.  You think you have the right to be so disrespectful and spoiled just like my nephew does towards his mother and grandmother.     And not one thing that I have heard has even made it sound like the blond and the son are right.  It sounded as if even his whole family supports the mother and they would be the ones to know.  Even the best man didn't want to support the son's position.  Again, as someone else pointed out, That is telling!!   How appropriate for Dr Phil to tell her son (right in the middle of the son's accusation of his mother) "in addition to taking (your mothers) inventory, you need to take your own."  I know that mothers have a harder time disowning their own children than children do their mothers but this mother needs to consider it.  Your mother is nowhere near as bad as a mother could be.  She forwarded your mail to you (oh my god what a crime)  A two year old was just beaten and murdered by her mother.  How would you like a mother like that?  I know why the mother apologized and is eating crow, not because she is wrong in everything but because she wants a relationship with her son.  But she is giving him too much power over her now by saying he is right and she herself is wrong-an even bigger form of spoiling.       Hey, I know the families of mates and potential mates can be crazy but, in this case, the in laws that are crazy is the daughter in law (and I pity her future children's mates because she will do to them what she is doing to this man's mother.)  I hope they go back on Dr Phil when she turns against her husband.  Oh will that be funny.  Sorry (and I am no one's mother in law nor am I anyone's daughter in law, nor have I ever been either so I'm not speaking with bias) but the crazy one isn't always the parents of the mate.  The crazy one has to start somewhere and one can see it in this blond girl.  She is the crazy daughter in law and will eventually grow to be the crazy mother in law.

Sorry so much written but this story just infuriates me!
 

Ha Ha , that's funny !!

I agree with you about Michelle's mother, she should be ashamed but it's a sign that she is the one who spoiled Michelle if she condones how Michelle is acting.  I think Dr Phil gave them too much of a pass because Michelle is spoiled and self centered and a hardass against the mother in law because of those character traits, and I don't think Dr Phil wanted to turn her into more of an enemy because this was pretty much their only hope.  I don't think Michelle's spoiledness will go away because of Dr Phil and I think he knew that, but I think he was trying to appeal to whatever rationality and compassion that existed in her, and whatever manliness was left in the son.

I did actually receive a check from one of these places one time, even though I never e-mailed them or requested it.  It was for around $4-$5000 and even though I was knowledgeable about these types of letters and scams, I was so broke that I actually got excited about it.  I kept trying to justify how it could possibly be a real check.  Of course, in the end I did not  cash it.

http://www.uspto.gov/