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Messages By: momthanguv2

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August 23, 2006, 7:02 am CDT

Don't even look back

25 years of stalking, angry tyraids, and threats are not what this gal deserves. It wasn't what I desesrved either, but there wasn't a Dr. Phil then. Even after the divorce 17 years ago the calls were almost daily.  Haul Ass out of this realtionship and don't look back, not even once
 
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November 26, 2006, 7:05 am CST

Single Parents?

As the single mom of a spoiled 19 year old son, I know how these kids get spoiled. It's not because they throw a fit, but because we can give them these things. It is when we can't that they act out. When there's not enough money, There's not enough money. Although the spoiled kid acts out, that's all he will do. All the  yelling and bad mouthing can't get more money. All a mom can do is to use the strong shoulders shedeveloped s a single parent and bear the the  childish rampages. Although my son has not gotten past his entitlement, I hope he will someday.  I let his tirades roll off my back like water off a ducks'. 

 Momthanguv2

 
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December 5, 2006, 8:53 pm CST

Like Most "Run and don't look back"

 
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December 5, 2006, 9:05 pm CST

Run and don't look back

Like most of the responses here, I married an abusive man. I was with him for 7 years of hell. But he was just like my Dad and brother. I literally didn't know better. I divorced my husband, but can't divorce my Dad. It is very hard for me to have much interaction with him. With my Mom dead, and him in a "home", I struggle to visit him.  I feel guilty about not visiting very often,  and  am pretty sure that my inheritance gets slimmer by the day. The abused feeling never really goes away. Oh and that brother, he lives in Houston, and I live in North Carolina. I don't see or hear from him very often, which suits me well. Whenever we're together he doesn't miss an opportunity to put me down. I am sure glad he's a long way away

Now I have a really sweet guy.Life is too short to put up with this stuff.

 
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December 7, 2006, 7:38 pm CST

You are absolutely RIGHT

Quote From: cati2d

This may not be as realistic as others but I have a husband that makes sure to call me stupid and dumb in front of my children and I ask why and what makes him think he can call me that

he says or claims he has the right.  And when I do not question him about it he thinks he is in

the right.  When   I do question him he just says just drop it you do not know what you are talking

about and when I can confide in someone they try to reassure me that I am not these things it is

not always helpful because he had already said it and now I think it is true.  What else am I to think if someone that is suppose to love me calls me this?  I am now divorcing him because I

can not do this anymore and my confidont has asked me if i could/would change my mind about

the divorce for the sake of the children and my answer  is still no I will not change my mind. Am I wrong? After dealing with this for the last 10 years?

No one should have to put up  with constant put downs and name calling.  This is just his way of boosting his ego. You are not anything of the things he says, You are a good woman, and do not need his brand of "love"  Your children should not be subjected to his bad behavior. They may unfortunately think this is the right way for men and women to interact, and mimic this behavior.
 
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January 27, 2007, 3:29 pm CST

too good to be true, or not

Attention from a manager at work is always welcome. When the manager becomes romanticallly involved, visions of finer things to come start to dance in your head. But when romance becomes obsession, ffear begins to dance.  Chance meetings and "i was just thinking about you, so I thought I'd stop by" , get creepier and the stalking is creepier. The frustrated out bursts become real threats, and often injuries. Introspection seems to say : too short, too blonde, too stupid, too this, too that" Wait, it's not meewith a problem, It's him. . . . Time to confront. . . . Denial, and false accusation begin to escalate, until physical pain is the next feeling you have.    Your only choice is the Magistrates office. In our county, the abuser of a relationship can be arrested, whether it is male or female, young or old. In this suburban setting the abusor can easily found. Especially if they like to stalk. Get help, get out ! 

 
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June 2, 2007, 10:30 pm CDT

Do looks equal self esteem?

Only aging movie stars should be so concerned with their looks that they get plastic surgery. And those peple disfigured by birth or accident.

 A 12 year old has so much emotional growth yet to do. Her self esteem should not be centered around her looks, or her boobs.  A psychologist or psychiatrist needss to become involved with this young lady to work on her self esteem. No one has only one redeeming quality, and boobs are never that one.

 Middle school kids can be cruel and ostricize someone for almost any reason at all. If the "in crowd" seems to be having more fun, find fun things to do with current  friends.

  But if this is not a self esteem issue then it must be a "monkey see, monkey do" The Mom might consider the message she is sending this youngster.

 Boobs grow at different times on different girls. Some 1`2 year olds are still budding while others are in full bloom.

Remember "patience is a virtue" and "don't judge a book by its cover "

 
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October 27, 2007, 5:10 pm CDT

By any name it's the same

Self esteem is a slippery slope. It doesn't take much to ruin it.

My daughter, a beautiful bright 5 year old started kindergarten. A jealous classmate started putting her down. Criticizing everything about her. The next thing I knew, my beautiful daughter started pulling her hair out. Then it was her eyebrows, finishing with her eyelashes. Finally  Duke University Dr. Grant diagnosed it as Trichitllomania.  Essentially a result of low self esteem. With several years of therapy and great angst on her mother's part, her self esteem recovered. All of the lost hair has replaced itself, thank goodness, and I have my beautiful daughter back again. But she still worries when criticized, and has developed a defensive attitude with  a sharp tongue.

Low self esteem brought on by ridicule is lethal. Lots of help is needed to overcome the devastation. If you know someone hurting with this problem, be kind to them.

 

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