Messages By: lynn2574

Nearly 5 years ago, I was 28 years old, and weighed over 400# (I'm only 5'5").  I had a duodenal switch gastric bypass surgery.  I did great with recovery, and the weight started to melt off.  My diabetes and malignant hypertension disapeared.  I thought I was on my way to a new, healthy me.  After about 1 year, and 130# weight loss, I started having "fainting spells".  My dr. ran every test in the book - including a stress test for my heart.  Everything was normal.  Out of desperation, he ordered an EEG to rule out seizure activity.  Surprise!  It was positive for seizure activity.  I started on medication for them, but they continued to be unstable.  At the same time, I noticed a large, painful bulge in my stomach area.  I had a ventral hernia.  I was scheduled for and had surgery, with a large mesh sewn into my abdominal wall.  The seizures continued, but I thought the hernia was repaired.  A year and 1/2 later, and the hernia recurred.  My weight loss had stopped with me at 240#, but not gaining anything.  I had surgery again in 6/06.  The seizures continued.  Then, my neorologist did a blood test to measure the Vitamin B12 in my system.  It was so low she was surprised I was still functional.  I went on Vit B12 injections daily for a while, then weekly for months, now every 2 weeks forever.  My seizures have stabled out as we explore the malnutrition problems.  Then, My hernia recurred.  I had surgery again on 2/1/07, with a 13 1/2 inch incision, and a large mesh put in.  I thought I was done.  I was wrong.  The hernia has recurred, and I am scheduled for surgery (yet again!) on Tuesday (5/1/07).  Would I do it again?  I dont know.  I just know that I have paid a very high price for my poor eating habits and binging that got me into this situation.  I am frustrated when people talk about WLS being the "easy way out".... there is NOTHING easy about it!    Take if for someone facing major surgery #5 in that many years.  Only the 1st (the WLS) was elective.  Now we just keep trying to put my body back together again.  Not to mention that since my surgery, I fell in love and got married.  And now the complications from my surgery will likely prohibit me from having a child.  I certainly didn't know that was a price I'd have to pay for this surgery!

Are you kidding me??????  NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING justifies this type of behavior.  Bravo to Dr. Phil for giving him heck.  He deserves it!  I'd look for love and attention other places too, with a man who treats me like property!  This man is seriously sick, and she needs to GET OUT while she still can.  As for me - I'm going to go give my loving husband a hug and thank him for being the wonderful, supportive partner that he is for me!

I found it ironic that this topic was aired today.  Tomorrow is my birthday, always a sad day for me.  I was born 33 years ago tomorrow, and my birthmother promptly left me in the hospital and went home to take care of her 6 year old son.  She had made arrangements with an adoption agency, but couldn't take the time to come back to the hospital and give them the signature to allow me to be released to a foster home.  I was in the hospital for 5 days until the courts released me.  I went to foster care for a month, and was then adopted.  When I was 28, I hired a court liason to contact my birthmother and research my records.  I learned that she had been widowed, met my birthfather, and quickly gotton pregnant.  She told him she was pregnant at 4 months along.  He left her apt. that night and said, "I'll talk to you tomorrow".  When she hadn't heard from him for several days, she went to his work and discovered that he had left town.  When the court liason found her, she told her that I was looking for her and was hoping to talk and find some answers.  Her response:  "Tell her I didn't want her then, and I don't want her now.  My family doesn't know about it."  Cold.  Selfish.  Cruel.  That's my biological legacy.  I then learned that 2 years after she put me up for adoption she got pregnant again and also adopted him out.  I have not yet contacted him.  Frankly, I can't take another potential respons like I got from her. 

I felt for Savannah today.  I don't think Dr. Phil was too harsh on her, because there are times that someone has just acted cruelly and coldly.  I wish Savannah nothing but the best.  I hope that she thanks God every day for having a father who stepped up to bat and did a fantastic job.  I, on the other hand, will always live with the knowledge that I was unwanted by both birthparents, and have to live with the scars of abuse from my adoptive home.

Happy birthday to me.... isn't it a heck of a day to celebrate?

I don't know...... I think that the MIL was overly-dramatic in her body language and verbage, trying really hard to be the victim.  Was the DIL cold?  Yes, but why in the world was she there without support?  Even the MIL had support.  But the husband/son wasn't even there.  Deana can't speak for him.  Frankly, I think that the MIL is so over-dramatic that making up the abuse stuff wouldn't be a shock.  I think that the DIL is so sick of the drama and accusations that she is using her power as the only thing she has to get back at an over-involved, self-absorbed MIL who only cares about herself.  I'm so glad I have a fantastic MIL!

I think she acted completely understandable for a woman who has been the victim of a heinous crime against her for the past 1 1/2 years.  I think she was focusing on the details because she didn't want to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone involved.  She's be terrorized emotionally, professionally, financially... WHY would she go on and SHOW emotion??  I'm the same type of person.  When I'm overwhelmed, I shut down emotionally, and focus on facts and details.  These boys should be ASHAMED of themselves.  The school board deserves this lawsuit, and I hope she wins.  To be further victimizing her by not allowing her to volunteer in that school is ridiculous! And it further subjects her children to these cruel, spoiled boys.

I just don't get why everyone is making such a BIG DEAL about her having married one of her HS teachers.  Unless she was underage at the time of marriage (and even with that didn't have her parents' permission), I don't see what that has to do with anything.  I grew up in a rather small town, and knew several people who graduated HS, and soon after began dating one of their teachers.  No one really thought anything bad about it.  I guess it says something about your want and need to judge other people based on circumstances and a world view that's different than other people.  But here is a FACT:  It is NOT illegal to marry someone who was once your teacher.  and it does NOT make you a pedophile to marry someone that is younger than you. 

 

I, for one, believe in the basis of our justice system, which says "Innocent until proven guilty".  Not only was she NOT proven guilty, but there was NO hard evidence.  One of her accusers recanted.  The other two have failed polygraphs and huge holes in their stories.  Did she take another polygraph - no.  But there will be people who use that as evidence of guilt in a misguided attempt to validate their own opinions.  She was acting on the advice of her attorney.  I, for one, applaud her.  She was not found guilty of ANY CRIME!  She has every right to volunteer in her child's school.  If you're going to argue that because she has an open CPS complaint she is unfit to volunteer, then you better be prepared to violate the privacy of every parent in your schools.  I've worked with CPS, and I know that many of the people that are being investigated and have serious troubles in their homes are the parents you would never suspect.  So, before parents are going to volunteer, do they need to sign a waiver for not only a background check for criminal background, but also for CPS reports?  To me, that is ridiculous. 

I’m not even going to address the OJ simpson comments because I can’t for the life of me, figure out how that has anything to do with this case (unless it was simply an attempt to bring in an inflammatory case). 

For one, I’m completely blown away that you think it’s “unreasonable” for someone to be not sexually active at one point in time, and married 12 months later.  In fact, I find it a bit offensive and illogical.    In reading and rereading your comments and several of your posts, I feel as though you are addressing issues and concerns faced in your own experiences and allowing those to color your opinion of this case.

Also – you say that she brought this to the court of public opinion for us all to judge, just as I judged her to be innocent?  I didn’t judge her to be innocent.  That’s how our justice system works.  INNOCENT until PROVEN guilty.  She was not declared innocent because there was a mistrial instead.  However, she was also never found guilty.  Under our justice system, she is then INNOCENT!  That’s not my judgement,  it’s the foundation of the American justice system.

Wow… I didn’t know all that.  Thank you for sharing your knowledge about the Muslim religion.  Personally, I think this is a case of a naïve, young girl who ran off for romance and adventure, and was slapped in the face with reality.  Meeting strange men across the world you met online is NOT a good idea.  Hey – I have nothing against meeting people online (I met my husband online).  However, I do think you need to be smart about it.  I pray Katherine is alright.  I’m sure she’s grown up a lot through this experience.

As for the mother… a lot of posters are quick to crucify her for driving her dtr to the airport.  I figure that hindsight is 20/20, and I’m sure she looks back and wishes she had done lots of things differently.  I also think she was probably trying salvage a relationship and openness with her dtr.

I just have to say that I completely empathize with these women.  I am 33 (nearly 34), and my husband is almost 40.  We’ve been married about 3 years, and have a wonderful, strong relationship.  We have been trying to conceive for 2 years with no luck.  Two months ago, we started Clomid treatment.  We are hoping and praying that this works.  We will also try artificial insemination if needed, although we can not afford in vitro. 

I am an adoptee who has not had the best experience.  I have several issues surrounding adoption, and just don’t feel that it’s the road for me at this time.  I’ve never met anyone that I’m biologically related to, and in all honesty, I don’t understand the bond that people who are blood related share.  I know that the ONLY way I will ever experience this is to have a child of my own.

I dream of the day that I can be a mother.  That I can carry a child under my heart, bear them, raise them, love them.   It is a daily thought.  Each month I face the disappointment of not being pregnant, while trying to remain cautiously optimistic for the future.  I look at my dear husband and know that he will make a fantastic father, and pray that we are able to make a child together.

I keep reading people’s posts about “why don’t people adopt more?”…. that is not an answer for everyone.  There are valid reasons to not adopt.  There is concern with the adoption laws in the US, that often side with the birth parents, and could end with a child being taken back by their birth parents.  There is the cost… it can be overwhelmingly expensive.  International adoptions can also be extremely expensive.

Then there are the emotional concerns.  Unless you are an adoptee, I don’t believe your opinion about how wonderful adoption is is completely valid.  Have you lived a life of feeling like you don’t fit in?  Have you lived a life never understanding a biological connection?  Have you lived your life knowing that you were given away by the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally?  I’ve yet to meet a fellow adoptee who is not insecure with relationships, and tended to worry as a child that their adoptive parents would “go away”.  I certainly understand that this is not the situation for ALL adoptees, however, it has been prevalent in my experience, the experience of my brother, 4 relatives, and multiple friends and clients I have dealt with. 

I have a tremendous respect for people who adopt.  I think adoption is a much better alternative to foster care or growing up with an abusive or unfit parent.  However, many people have lived or witnessed many of these concerns, and adoption is a road that they can’t emotionally go down.  I get the feeling that there is a lot of judgement towards them because they’d rather conceive a child, or don’t feel adoption is a valid option FOR THEM.