Messages By: foremanl

I am just so shocked to see how people are jumping the gun and judging Nichelle for the way she treats her daughter. Although some of her choice of words were not the wisest, one must  step into her shoes to fully understand what it's like to live with a child with a disability. Many of you state that Nichelle is just a horrible mother, but to tell you the truth, Nichelle is doing the best she can in such a difficult situation. Haven't you had something horrible happen to you and you let out your frustration? Nichelle lives with this everyday of her life.

I am an educator and I know the frustrations parents go through with the kids. It is unfair for others to come forward and judge another person without even stepping into that person's shoes. I am not saying that I agree with the way she handles her daughters, but we're all human, we snap and we make mistakes. Life isn't a utopia! Life isn't perfect and we, as humans, are certainly far from being perfect. Instead of sending your sneaky remarks to Nichelle and instead of sitting in the audience or at home shaking your head in disgust, think about what this woman goes through.

Hang in there Nichelle, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you'll be able to find the best solution to make live a little easier.

Clearly you don't seem to comprehend the difference between Nichelle's daughter's disability and your son's disability. There is a tremedous difference between both and without dimishing what you go through, I have to say that Nichelle's going through a much tougher situation than you are.

 

I can't stand others' being so critical of Nichelle who had the courage to come on the show. You think she does this for pity? Hell no, this is an embarassing situation to be sitting there with Dr Phil and to have him grill you over your methods. I wouldn't be proud to have to resort to coming on Dr Phil to solve my problems... rather I find that it is humiliating.

 

I am not here to agree or disagree with Nichelle. I don't necessarily agree with the way she chooses to handle her daughter, yet  I feel for her. It is not entirely HER fault. Instead of sitting there and judging others because your disabled child was not as difficult as Nichelle's daughter is, think of what it's like to go through that every single day of your life. It's like comparing apples and oranges. Get over your anger and realize that not everybody can handle difficult situations perfectly. We're human, some of us have short fuses, some of us have the patience of a saint, that's why we call it LIFE.

 

Hang in there Nichelle, many of us are thinking about you and hope that you'll be able to find the help necessary to make your life and Savannah's life better.

After watching today's show, I can't help but dread what will be waiting for me in a few years. My fiance and his stepmom never got along due to the fact that she was partly responsible for his parents' divorce. I fully understand how bitter he can be, but nearly a year ago, after trying to mend things and just being civil with her, I had a fallout with her. I am not here to defend myself, nor to explain myself, but the fallout occured over the fact that we were too young to know what was right for us. Perhaps, I should've mentionned that we're both in our mid twenties and we're not young teens.

 

 Since then, we have not been on speaking terms and it is getting more and more difficult for me to see my future father in law. He came to see us twice in a year since the incident and my fiance has gone to their house approximately 5 times since then. I on the other hand, have not seen her nor am I ready to confront her. My fiance doesn't want me facing that woman again and I commend him for stepping up for me and defending me when it was the time to do so. 

 

Watching today's show just made me think about the future. In a few years, we're going to have children and at the time being, we have no intention on allowing her to see our children. I don't want to have to go through all the turmoil. We definitely want to include the "grand-father" in the picture once we have kids, but we certainly don't want the "step-grand-mother" anywhere near our child. Let me describe my future in-law. She's a raging alcoholic yet she doesn't seem to realize it. She smokes like a chimeney despite having us tell her that I have difficulty breathing if people smoke. She likes to butt her noise in everybody's business and to tell you the truth, we're afraid of the woman. We always think that someday, she'll turn into a psycho and physically harm us all. Anyways, I am not here to justify my anger towards her, rather, I am here to ask you this: are we being horrible people for wanting to cut her out of our lives forever? Are we insane for wanting to cut out any "unhealthy" relationships or individuals from our lives before we start our family?

It makes me so angry to continuously hear stories about teachers who have relationships with minor students. I am an elementary school teacher and we already do not get the respect of many. More stories about deviant female/male teachers just continue to give teachers a bad reputation. Teachers get blamed when they go on strike demanding for more help in class for students with special needs, teachers get blamed for a student's poor performance in school, teachers get blamed for almost everything.

From the start, we are already not considered professionals  (in Quebec, Canada). I love what I do for a living, but it aggravates me to realize how little respect one can get once he/she is at the front of the class. It's my second year as a teacher and I've already seen the amazing requests from parents. Once those ridiculous requests are not attainable, parents turn into devils, bash you and do everything to make your life a living nightmare.

It makes me so frustrated to hear stories about teachers who have sex with their students or who claim they are in "love" with their students. We, as teachers, act as an authority figure. I don't understand how one can cross over that line and not see that it is wrong. I love my students there is no doubt about that, but there is nothing sexual behind that. I love every single one of my students for who they are. I'd never cross over that line. As teachers, we spend so much time with the students. Of course there are times where I dream of my students, but it is because we spend over 25 hours a week together. They're always on my mind and I always care for them. All this is an appropriate manner. This makes me wonder why every single school board does not conduct a psychological test of their potential candidates. We'd get rid of the deviant ones and we'd protect the children.

I feel sorry for male teachers nowadays. Male teachers don't dare stay alone with a student in fear that students might invent a story to get them into trouble. My male colleagues always leave the door open when they are with their students. They live in fear because of the reputation male teachers have been given. It's very unfair that teachers as a whole suffer the consequences of several deviant individuals.

Don't take me wrong, I love what I do for a living. I wouldn't change a thing in my life. The only thing I wish to change is the system. Scan our teachers properly and have them do psychological testing on teachers!

I am not trying to sympathize with the father nor am I trying to defend the mother. What I am thinking is that people shouldn't judge before jumping to conclusions. I read messages on this board and people are automatically assuming that the father is guilty. There are instances where children are trained to say things by their own parent. I am not trying to say that this child was told to say that, but you cannot judge others until you have heard all the facts. Let this debate/fight/argument start and then we can judge by ourselves. The only person we must protect is the child. Is she in danger from her father or is she been abused by her mother who is planting words in her mouth.

 

I speak from experience. One of my friends went through a divorce and much to my disbelief, she had her 2 year old daughter calling her dad horrendous names. Some people can be so vindictive that they'll do anything to get back at someone. Let me state again that I am not here to support or defend either side. I think both sides are entitled to state their version of the facts.

I completely agree with you. I was so darn happy to hear Sanjay's friend be so vocal about the relationship his friend is in. I do not believe that this is a healthy relationship---rather it seems that they're using each other to reach their own goals. Sanjay is using her to fill that gap in his life while she is using him for his money. I am glad Mike stepped up and voiced his opinion so loud and clear. Hell if one of my friend was to commit on of his/her biggest mistakes, I'd open my mouth and say something.

 

For those who think Mike was too harsh, I think he had no choice but to be harsh. When someone is in "love" they are suddenly blinded and nothing can get to their brains. Kudos to Mike for saying what many of us thought.

 

I agree with you: she was not the most mature 18 year old I've seen. My grade 4 students demonstrate a better maturity than her at the present time.

 

And that whole "daddy" thing... creeps me out too.