Messages By: dimples052760

I myself have been with a man for almost 3 years.  He is the nicest man I have ever known.  He is so sweet, gentle, honest, and so caring of others, he would give you the shirt off his back! His problem is  simple, he wants a rich, quick fix.  He is a contractor, which here in Florida, the work is not available.  After watching the Dr Phil show today, the first gentleman that was on, so reminds me of my boyfriend!  He would refuse to get a job from 8-5, saying he wouldnt  feel comfortable doing this, and I was talking about HomeDepot, or Lowes, where there are contacts there.

When the construction business, went into an all out low, he just packed his things, and moved to Montana, leaving behind his mom and son and of course myself and the kids.  He was there for 2 months, and then once again borrowed money and moved to Maryland, which he is now living with his best friend, which as of today, 5 weeks later, he has maybe had 2 jobs, and still hasnt pushed Lowes or Home depot. He would much rather take a wait and see attitude.   Which unfortunatly has pretty much destroyed our relationship along with his heavy drinking because he has no work.  This man I love is very talented, but does not seem to have the energy or the drive to go out there and push. I believe he wants people to come to him.  He also spends alot of time on the internet looking for jobs, which again he is not pushing himself out there.  Like the first man on the show today, we have both kind of dropped  God from our lives, not totally, but have not asked him for help...until now. I pray every nite for him to intervene in Jims life, and to get rid of the depression and alcohol consumption, which is caused by him not having steady work.I also pray for Jim to seek God again.   If he would just  drop the rose colored glasses and see that you must go out and work hard, and also understand that your chances of winning the lottery are pretty much zilch,  he would  be such a catch.  My only hope and dream is that he stops what I call mooching off of people (friends mostly, never me!)for money to move all the time and realize it is time to become a responsable adult. 

What is it with these 40  or more year old men wh have no concious?  Unfortunatly I fell in love with one of these moochers, but really didnt realize he was a moocher until he moved away.  This 43 year old man I dated, not only lived off his mother for three years, in her house, but she cosigned  for his 50,000 truck ( which is not worth it) , because his credit was shot from yes, a divorce.  When Mom was ill and couldnt work for two years due to her health and I believe depression, The "GOOD SON" blamed her for the foreclosure  on there house, bankruptcy for all the bills ect... not once did he ever say that yes he hadnt worked in the past two years, and it was also his fault. He told every  family member he could get through to that it was all her fault for his proiblems!  AHHH HA.  So... He hitches a ride to Montana with his friend, a few jobs here and there, but  He never helped pay for any bills because he had to save his money for his 700.00 a month truck payment. He also didnt pay for rent.

When things went south from that episode (lasted about 2 months)Then he talked to best friend from Maryland ,  He again gave his sad sob story of how he didint have enough work, and was broke. His friend, offerd to pay his way to Maryland (with the stipualtion that my ex pays him back)  live with him, until he got a  job and got back on his feet. This friend has two small girls, Child support payments, a mortgage, and other financial obligations. My ex has  lived there since December,  he has had some good paying jobs, but his main concern is not paying  for anything but his truck payment and insurance.  He lives in his friends basement, I know he has paid for some food, but he has never onvce paid for utilitys, or rent.  He now goes and  has asked everyone of his friends many times to "Borrow" some money, because well he cant afford the gas in his big truck, he needs cigarettes and beer everyday.  He also enjoys the bar down the street and playing the lottery, which for some reason he has the money for the bar and lottery tickets.  And yes he has even asked me two times to borrow money.  I did loan him 100.00 beecause he had loaned me some, but then two weeks later, he asked to borrow another 50- 75.00.  I am a single mom!!  I am financially strained too!

I told him no the secound time. I was in shock that he even asked  me twice!  What a jerk!  I have told him to get rid of the truck, save all that money and get your own home to rent. His response was I cant, I need my truck for work!  I told him you can buy a good used truck.  But deep down inside, that truck is a status symbol for him.  And honestly I dont believe he minds the mooching.  HEs not embarrased by it anymore, it is his way of living.  I know if his friend kicks him out of the basement, he will eventually find someone else to move in, someone else to mooch off of so he can keep his precious truck. 

I know he probably owes close to 5000.00 alone to just his two closet friends and who know how much more he owes for his others he has "Borrowed" from.  I guess he expects to live with his bst friend for the rest of his life.  Unfortunatly for him, I dont believe he realizes this could destroy his best friends relationship.  You can only borrow so much money from a best friend, and then the friend realizes whats going on....