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Messages By: housewife376

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September 4, 2006, 1:15 pm CDT

Understand Totally

Quote From: wunderschoen20

I was worried I would have the empty nest blues when the time came.  At the time I had been married for 21 years to an alcoholic who had Hepatitis C.  I couldn't stand the thought of the kids leaving because then I would have been alone with him.  They were the only thing that kept me sort of sane.  My husband died before they moved out.  They were 19 and 20 at the time.  It was I who moved away.  Quite frankly, it has been a blessing having them out of the house.  On the other hand I worry about them more.  My daughter does just fine.  Works and does the things she should.  Very responsible.  My son... absolutely another story entirely.  He is on his own but living in his car.  That's a story in an of itself.  I worry about him so much.  In some ways I wish he was back with me but, most of the time I know he needs to go through this himself and learn to stand on his own feet.  I just don't understand how I could raise one child that is self sufficient and one who can't/won't keep a job.  Any ideas?  But as to the empty nest?  I was ready when it happened.

 I really understand your points. I have 3 sons. My oldest is very successful in his field. My sons are all different;- you could never tell that thay are related at all. My 24 yr old works full-time and has his own business after work. He does just great.--My other 2 sons are totally the opposite. I have a 19 yr old that bounces from job to job, and finally realizes that he must further his education to get anywhere in today's world-- And the 17 yr old is the youngest, and the total opposite.

In our town the first week of school just passed. He missed 2 days of school already, I had no idea until my older sons friends told us. I am really worried about the 17 yr old, he is so bright and he is throwing his whole life away. I started noticing chnages last year, when he quit basketball after playing since elementary school. He is a very gifted player. My 3 sons are extremely different all the way around. My 24 yr old, is a outstanding role model for the other 2 younger ones. I don't understand what went wrong with the other  sons.

 
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September 19, 2006, 10:11 am CDT

17 YR OLD SON ADDICTED TO DRUGS-NOWHERE TO TURN

I am a mother of a 17 yr old son  who is adicted to marijuana and cocaine. He is ruining his life.! The school called me today.. He has missed 6 days of school already this year,(school just started). I had no idea that he had missed these days. I am a very straight-minded person. I have made uncountable calls to try to get him help. I cannot get anywhere, at all. I have been told at one place, that it would take money to get him the help that he needs. Also, he is on a Medicaid HMO, that requires to fo be evaluated before they will even think of paying for any services at all. My son states that hewill not go to get evaluated. He has stated that if we take him to an appointment with a counselor we will never see him again. The resources available to us are very limited due to financial hardship.  I don't know what else to do. The school also told me that he talks and brags about using drugs. I was so embarassed. I come from a church-going  family. I have tried to do everything right for him and my other son. I have been married to their father for 21 yrs. now.  I don't know what to do, HOW DO I GET HIM THE HELP THAT HE NEEDS?  I believe thathe has been doing drugs for about a year, now that i look back on things. He is a senior in HS. Last year he quit basketball, which he loved very much. He played since he was in pre-school and is very talented. PLEASE HELP ME HELP MY SON!  I will appreciate any information and advice. We live in a rural community, I stayed here because i thought it was safer to raise the kids here than a city. I am afraid that my son is gong to die from cocaine poisioning.

Please respond.

Lioness376

 
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September 23, 2006, 1:18 pm CDT

The KIDS THINK THAT IT CAN'T HAPPEN TO "ME"

 

The Kids where I live have been doing this for at least 2 years as I have been told. The thing is they think that it won't happen to them. They are not afraid. They even brag about how many allergy and cold  medicines that they have popped.  In our closest hospitals, all the alcohol swabs are locked up with a key because people of all ages were going to the ER's to get high from the alcohol swabs that are used to give injections, etc.  I have heard alot about this becuase I am a medical assistant.

I can't understand why kids think becuase it's OTC that it is safe and that whatever medication they take will make them high. Parents have no idea, of how common this is. Alot of parents don't like to believe that this problem exists.  It is very important that Dr. Phil is having this subject on his show, to bring attention to this growing problem.

Lioness376-(medical assistant).

 
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September 23, 2006, 2:02 pm CDT

YOU CANNOT FORCE A COMMITMENT

 

I am a very strong believer that long engagements do not make much sense. You cannot force another to want to get married. If anyone tries to force their mate into marriage it will probably be a miserable marriage for both partners. I have been with my husband for over 21 yrs. The first ten years we were not legally married. We got married in Dec 1994, in my living room. I am now happy, BUT the 10 yrs of living together caused me a great deal of anxiety and heartache(because he cheated on me several times), Looking back on this time period, I can't believe that I put up with that kind of mental abuse and embarrassment. During the 10 yrs unmarried, we had 2 sons. The children are now grown-up.  I realize that I can't go back in time, if that were possible. I would not be in this marriage now. When a man strings you along, and keeps telling you that they are going to marry you, but NEVER do,(after a resonable time period),; It is time to move on and find someone else who really will appreciate you and love you. Don't let your partner drag you along, because YOU WILL BE VERY SORRY LATER, if you do. I know from first hand experience. My husband is 70 yrs old and I just went over the 40 mark. Take advice to someone who has been there and went through it.  Think more of your self, don't allow your self-esteem to receed to a low level. Everyone deserves to be loved and have a happy marriage, Not one that was or is forced or pressured.

Lioness376-Leah

 

 

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