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Messages By: hotnychick

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September 2, 2006, 7:44 am CDT

I am new

I am So glad this board is here-  I am so scared to share-but I relate well to what all of you have gone thru

I will keep reading- Thanks for your wisdom and encouragement-  I am so scared and I feel so alone- 

 
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September 9, 2006, 5:16 am CDT

Dating After 40

Quote From: kwindshawn

new topic-hmmm.  Dating after 40? Nonexistent.  Anyone else having any luck?

I was SO happy to see this new board-YYYAAAYYYY!!!!!    I have  not had  good luck-And I am struggling not to settle for less- I  don't feel very good about meself when I settle- I am getting my dignity and integrety back-  100%-

Good -great-topic-Will be back!!!

 
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September 9, 2006, 5:22 am CDT

Hi All

Quote From: kwindshawn

Do you  think it is possible to dig out of this hole and find life worth living??

Hi-I am brand new to this board!!!    It is really nice to know that I am not the only one struggling with this issue-It is so hard!!    

Yes- you can 'dig out of it' -Life is worth living?   I think so-

 
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September 9, 2006, 5:24 am CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: jadedman

Just 2-1/2 years? Try for 20 sometime, and see how far you get. Because that's where I am now.
I know how THAT feels!!    
 
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September 9, 2006, 5:48 am CDT

Breaking Up

Quote From: spicycandy31

Hello, Im knew to the group and here is my story::

 

Last night I ended a 3 year relationship with a man I love dearly.  My ex was very abusive, he hit me alot, Dec 10, 2005 he gave me 6 stiches in my upper lip.  Many would say im stupid for staying and now that I guess im fed up and tired of the controlling, selfish, disrespectful, ways I ended it.  No this isnt the first time I have walked away from the relationship, however it is the last!!!  Whats funny is I didnt end the relationship because he hit me, because he for the hundreth time called me out my name,...I ended it because he wouldnt allow me to stay the night at his house.  I have been with this man cooked meal, spent money, supported mentally, and in three years we have never woke up in each others arms.  Even after we made love, I would always get and he would escort me to the door.  I have brought the issue up and told him how uncomfortable it makes me feel, he never really has a comment, he normally responds with "I will work on that baby, im just used to being by myself"   I cant go back to him, I am at the  lowest point in my life.  I feel so cheap, so whorish!!!.  Im not happy with me or my life  and the way I allowed him to control  me.   I miss him and love him but I know I cant be with him.  Part of me wants him to call and beg me back pleading that he will change,  however i know he wont, and no he doesnt even care that im gone.  im hurting, Please any advice would be helpful.

 

Thanks

Um-   Hi -I saw this (  I am new here) and I know exactly  how you feel-  But all I can say-  I know you are hurting and  it will take time to heal-  Each time  you call or visit- all it is going to do is prolong your healing-Like -you know when you pick a scab-and it bleeds (but slowly heals-some times leaving a scar?)  That is the same with your heart and soul-  

Please do not go back to him-  Your self estteem is crushed right now-  Very low- He will NOT change -you actually know that-  

( He is hiding something from you-Lying about something if you can't stay the night-)  But the BIGGER ISSUE- if I may ask-Why did you put up with his abuse for so long???  

How old are y'all?  But it doesn't matter- Please do not put up with this crap any more- 

Leave and heal and move on-or you will have regrets-  I had to learn that-  You deserve better and more-Don't you think?

I wish you the best-

 
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September 9, 2006, 6:05 am CDT

How Porn Has Affected Our Relationship

Quote From: allinall

 Google Smileys.

I am very new to this board!!  Hi All!

Allinall-  I had to post and say I  really like the smiley's on seesaw-  Very clever!!!   I have trouble down loading or uploading these kinds of things on my computer!!   

Any way-  Very interesting board!!!!!

See y'all later-

 
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September 9, 2006, 6:21 am CDT

True Love

I am new here-  I hope it is ok to post here?

Well-I believe in true TRUE love-but it has not happened for me- yet.     There are so many negative messages  out there that I am trying to ignore them and get the negative voices-and tapes-out of my head-But it is NOT easy-

True love is a true blessing and even more of a true blessing to 'find' and meet some one -like a magnet-a strong magnet-

I have been searching for him for years- Now it is time for my other half to search for me- After all-true love tkes two!   Where are you-my true love?

Hope all is well and I hope that  is it ok to post here and that I did a good job!!  LOL!!  My first time!

Bye

 
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September 9, 2006, 6:51 am CDT

Cheated On

There are alot of people- mostly men? (and some women) who think that there is oly one type of cheating-sleeping and having physical relations with some one else other than your spouse or S/O-

 

But there are other ways too- I hope more attention is paid to that in the future- Like studies and on the Dr Phil show and all the new therapy shows that are up and coming-

 

Emotional cheating-

Mental cheating-

These are just as hurtful if not more than physical cheating-  ( I experieneced that pain and betrayal more times than I care to count)

 

IEmotional and mental cheating is not ok and I hope none of you ladies (and some gentlemen) tolerate it-

 

Do not feel like you are making a big deal out of it- you are not-

And it is -most of the time-not about jealousy-  

 

That means you care about yourself and  you deserve to be respected- 

 

I think one of the saying  goes- treat others as you would like your self to be treated-something like that-

 

And if there is any one out there  doing something that could be hurting the one you love-  as you know it is not a good thing-  I believe I heard Dr Phil say many times- You do the crime you do the time-

 

I am looking foward to season number FIVE-of his show!

 

Hope you all have a good day and thank you for reading my post-All I wanted to do was make a couple of points- 

 

I have a question-though?     Why do people feel they need to cheat?   

 
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September 9, 2006, 7:09 am CDT

09/06 Mr. Mooch

Quote From: ncurrier

I know that.... BUT what I am saying.. is

 

If YOU both put in 50%. you are putting in half of what you can put into a relationship... HOWEVER  if you put in 100% you are putting all your efforts in the relationship.. 100%\100% not 50%\50%    do you follow?????

 

 

I believe I heard Dr Phil say that it is 100% / 100%  -Both partners have to do their best in the relationship-

 

Also-to a previous person who posted very recently-Yes-you can have a healthy loving relationship if a partner has a disabilty-   It is a matter of adjustment- and the partner with a disabilty can do alot of things-just DIFFERENTLY than before-

 

You give your relationship 100% (both of you-not just one person-BOTH partners)

 

(I DO follow-you make sense-  As I said before-DP said the same thing-And he emphasizes the same in his books as well)

 

 
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September 14, 2006, 5:38 am CDT

09/13 Man Stealers

Quote From: latenightjam

I lived 32 years with a man who did not love me......probably never did.  I did not know that until I found someone who REALLY loves me.  If you have questions about whether your mate loves you or you love him, then YOU DON'T and HE DOESN'T!   I have said many times since beginning my true relationship that I love him because he loves me.  We do that for each other.  The most wonderful thing he can give me is to accept my love.  He returns it constantly.  When you have a TRUE love, there is NO doubt. Period.  So, as long as you are hanging on to this no good taker (and there are only 2 kinds of people in life....givers and takers.......and you appear to be the giver, he the taker)  he will milk you for all you are worth, emotionally, financially, and any other way he can.  Get rid of the bum. My kids say the same thing Dr. Phil does.....it is better to be from a broken relationship than be IN one.  You NEED to move on, make the break, and once you do, EMPOWER YOURSELF by telling him NO just once.  Once you tell him NO the first time (and it's scary, but you have to do it for your own control and self worth), but once you do it the first time, it becomes easier, and it makes you stronger in resisting his whining and demanding because that's all these guys do to women like you and what I used to be.  You MUST move on, get rid of him and work on seeking a mate that fits the good qualities and doesn't have any of the bad ones.  You know what is not good in a mate so don't fall back into that trap.  I'm telling you, being alone is better by far than being in an emotionally abusive relationship, and if you don't think you are in an emotionally abusive relationship you need to take a reality check.  After I got rid of my disloyal husband, I felt like I had a huge weight removed and I realized just how much he and our relationship just plain exhausted me.

 

I have one searching question for you:  WHY WOULD YOU LOVE A MAN WHO TREATS YOU LIKE THIS???  HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU.

 

If he did it once, he'll do it again......and probably with the same woman.  You have no idea what you DON'T know about.  You should never have to tolerate a cheating mate.  If he really loves you, he would have no desire or need to cheat.  His desire would be to come home and spend time with YOU and no one else.  He would look forward to being with you. 

Thank you for writing and posting this- 
 

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