Messages By: hotnychick

I SO agree with you!    Like this ex I talked about earlier-he has NO idea how lucky he was to have had me!

This guy-like james-is So insecure and fearlful its unbeleivable-  This ex thought he was SO smart-he felt SO threatened by the fact that Im smart strong and independent- I wished you guys were there and you could have seen and heard how he treated me-  Sigh- 

Hi Xstie-  I want to thank you SO much for what you wrote here!  Your words could NOT have some at a more perfect time!  I am 43 and never had a REAL GREAT man in my life-All I seem to meet are JERKS PCYCHOS!

I can NOT even tell you how many times Ive been called a failure-By "friends"   neighbors-  several men and women telling me -again and again-" You are ugly-You are a failure-and there is something wrong with you because you are still single at 43-

I also have a disablity-these very same ppl all the time tell me  "No man will ever want you because of your disablity- and this and that- "

I wished I had your email -But in any event- I thank you for your words- I have settled and I its hard to have PATIENCE-  (But   CONSTANTLY hearing those horrible comments that Im a failure and no man will ever want me-Its hard to get away from that and be positve and patient-)

Thank you ma am-  I AM hanging in there BUT it is SO hard (and some times painful) -  I have had SO MANY MANY  heartbreaks   and my heart can NOT take any more!  Sigh-  The older I get -the longer it takes my heart to heal-

So thank you for your words- 

I can NOT keep silent any longer- I hope this help others-  Dr Phil is actually right-and others who said the same thing- about whether kids are better off being from a divorced family or a broken one with two parents who did and still do NOTHING but fight all day long-

You see-I am 43 years old-and my parents never got a divorce-they are still married still fighting-and due to circumstances I m struggling with -thru no fault of my own- I am renting form the parents- 

I wished they had gotten a divorce and   I would be so much happier-  It affects me very deeply -and the damage they did is life long damaging-and they blame ME for it!

Dr Phil is RIGHT-parents fighting and arguing in from of their kids IS abuse and DOES leave life long scars-

Sadly my sisters don t care coz they are enablers-I stand up against this abuse all the time with no help or support  and every one judges me!  Like i m the bad guy!

I m so tired of my freakin parents fighting and putting me in the middle of this-It makes me sick and ill and they always make me feel like its my fault- 

I could go on but this was so hard to write-

So those of you who say "stay together for the sake of the kids-" PLEASE listen to my experience- 

I know its not my fault or responsibility for what my darn stupid selfish parents are doing-they damaged me so-and my sisters are no better than they are-  As tired as I am from all this-  I hope I helped some one-Dr Phil and those folks are RIGHT-it DOES have life long lasting effects-  I also meet men who treat me like my family does-abuses me -yells at me all the time -etc

Oh and by the way-the last thing I ll say is this-Both my parents have said that I have ruin ed their lived-they made a mistake having me-So - They have some NERVE to do this to me and they have NO remorse for their actions and shame on my older siblings for siding with them

My father is a wimp and my mother is a wimpette-

Im now learning and its NOT easy-to love myself and heal-etc-etc-

Sorry but its too hard to write any thing else-I am learning-with NO love and NO support that ALL the shame and blame belongs on them and I will NOT allow myself to feel bad-even tho they pressure me and abuse me every day -with their horrible fighting and abusing me- 

Remember folks this has been going on for 39 years of my life -EVERY DAY- 

OH and by the way- Dr Phil is RIGHT about this-if you keep fighting and arguing in from of your kids- they will grow up resenting you and hating you-like I do with my darn parents-and its THEIR fault and they do not care-  I hate both my sister as I should for not helping me and not protecting me-

I m speaking from EXPERIENCE - Don t do this to your kids-

Lets say Shani does leave Jason for good-  and she gets with Greg-Guess what?  In a few years I bet Shani and Greg will cheat on each other- Something like  "if you do it with them they ll do it to you" (paraphrasing)-

So even if Shani does get with Greg-I bet he will do this to her and or vice versa-

And Jason?  To the poster that want s to be with Jason-Don t you realize that he will ignore you and whatever else he did to Shani?  He will treat you the same-  Guys like that have a pattern and they RARELY change-