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Messages By: jackdaddy

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worried
September 4, 2006, 7:36 pm CDT

Am I a jerk?

 This is the first time to post on this sight, my wife and I are coming up on our 3rd annivery. wee had a tuff spot last  years work got help and we are stronger now, shortly after this we found out that we to have a child, he is now 4 month old now, My wife and I are so very happing and love spending time with him.  The reason I feel that I may be a jerk is because at one time we had a great sex life, untel we became with child, I understand that she is carring our child and may be not in the mood and I wanted to have sex, it been four months and we have had sex 3 times, I started it once and she touch part but she was not in to it, and I felt as if I forceded my self on to her, and I feel like jerk. I dont want to beg becasue then may do it but will not be into it and only one of us will enjoy it and I think sex should be enjoyed by both partys or else it not love making it just sex, or something elas. the other thing that make me feel like I am a jerk, beside being a New Mommy, she also bi-poler and the meds she is on sometime kills her sex drives and other time makes it overpowering but most of the time it dead and I love my wife very much and I need to know if wanting to make love to the women I love make me jerk given that I know she is on drugs that kill the sex drive and that she is enjoying being a new mom, witch I may odd I am enjoying a new dad too. So am I a jerk??????
 
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September 4, 2006, 8:07 pm CDT

WOW what a jerk

Quote From: jettav

Well first of all, your husband is very rude and should not be talking to you like that. He should be loving and encouraging and helping you.I sure the heck wouldn't be encouraged to even sleep with my husband if he would to treat me like that, he's your husband and he married you and therefore he is suppose to love and respect you for better and for worse ,in sickness and in health. I would be having a talk with my husband if this were happening to me.

Communicate with him and tell him exactly how you feel and what it is that you need from him to help you through this. Taking care of a home and children has it's ups and downs as it is and you have an extra strike against you. I can bet that one reason that you do not feel comfortable in the bedroom is because of his attitude and remark to you. One thing that helps me in my everyday life is to journal( I actually have a blog) and I list 5 positive things on a regular basis about myself and my day. Do this and see what happens. Let your husband know that you do not need the negative comments for you are already experinceing those, you need to hear the positive ones so that you can think more clearly and deal with your issues with a positive attitude, believe me, it works.

You are not a maid nor are you a babysitter, you are a mother and a wife and you need to make this clear to your husband as well as start thinking this for yourself. Be kind to your self and if need to, seek out some help for your self to help you over come these negative feelings about your self, Hopefully, your husband will step up to the plate and be your safe haven as a husband but what ever the case, you owe it to yourself and your child to believe in yourself and to get on the right track with your life. You deserve to be happy and your child deserves a happy mommy and with you and your husabnd working as a team it is possible to be a good wife, for it does take two to make a marriage loving and lasting but it may take just one to get the ball rolling, go to your husband and communicate with him and hopefully he will stop ridiculing you and you need to quit ridiculing yourself as well......................
 Your Husband is a 1st class jerk dose he think you had your two stroks becasue it was fun. WOW that must have really hurt you and for that let say I am sorry from all the carring feeling men in the world.
 
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frustrated
September 22, 2006, 6:01 am CDT

a change must be made

I have a 5 month old baby boy how I love very much. I have been married for 3 yrs in dec to a very wonderful woman that  love very much I would dead for both of them before I let anything hurt them. My wife and I both work full time and still only have our son in daycare for less them 20hrs a week. most of the week I take carre of him, he gose with me to the gym and all the other places I go he gose too, now what bother me is that if my wife were to do this she would be prased as a grate mom, how grate it is that she get to spend all this time with her child, but when it come to me and all the other men how are men that take half of being a parent just as seriously as there wife do it seem like are looked down upon becasue they are not working them self in to a early grave to get money for there family but not spending time with there family and letting the woman do all that work well I think that is full load of crap. I dont know how to change this but it must be change becasue let face it Dad are indeed parents too. It seens the olny time Dad are pay attention to by the world is if they are dead beat dad, or a sperm donior that just leave the mom to rese the child with no help from them and to all the single mom out there that fall in to this as a man I am sorry that the jerk did that to you.  I love spending time with my son see him grow that is grate I understand what i am watching I will never see again. I dont want to seem anything, and you know I like my job I dont want to clim the latter I just want to rase my son and spend time with my wife, but you know if I were to quit my job and be a stay at home Dad of a child that dose not have health issue to the parents of children like that I must say wow grate job it is truly a thankless job. anyway if i were to be a stay at home dad of a healthy child I would be looked down up on becasue were is the mom that is her job, dad dont make good care give why is he not at work the dum, or if not that it oh isnt that nice daddy is taking the kid today so that mom can have time to herself I dont like that at all.  I dont get it why do mom get the credit they should get for being mommy and rasing there children, but daddy dont unless they are just the bread winner I dont get it, after all the daddy are more then just a check and a sperm donior. I dont get it it no wornder so men think it ok to leave, everyone need to feel prised and wil go were they must go to get it. Mom and Dad are looked at in diffrent light and mom that work are called working mom, but dad that work and are the main care giver to ther child are as were the mom and that must change. 

 
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hopeful
September 22, 2006, 6:07 am CDT

I agree

Quote From: specdad

So, 1000+ posts in the stay at home mom section, and none here.  Well okay, I must say, I kinda like the idea of being the first one here.  So, here we go.  I am a stay at home dad.  Seems that's pretty rare, especially by the number of posts in this section.  I've been told I'm doubly-rare in that I'm a stay at home dad with a little boy (just turned 2 this week, by the way) who has Down Syndrome.  It was decision that my wife and I made, and we are comfortable with.  When our baby was born, granted, it was no walk in the park.  There were birth defects and surgies (stomach at 3 days old, and open heart at 6 weeks), but you can hardly tell now.  Like I said, he's 2, and Down Syndrome or not, a 2 yo is still a 2 yo.  Yeah, raising a Downs child isn't easy.  It requires alot of paitience and understanding.  Teaching a child takes on a whole new level (including sign language, detailed oral communication skills, grooss motor skill development, and fine motor skill development).

But I digress, I rant, when merely I just wanted to get something started here, and say hello to everyone.

I agree with you man. there need to do be more focus on getting more dad involed in parenting and not just as workers. Women to remmber this there is no right way to do something as long as the child is not being harmed what ever works. Mom has her way and if mommy would get out of the his way and let daddy do it the way that works for him daddy would have his way too.
 
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blank
October 6, 2006, 10:11 am CDT

I dont know how I should feel

 I am confused about how I feel I am not much of a career minded up the latter to the top and all the rot that we are fed, I have a job a security guard and I like it, but for some reason I feel like I should want more from my career but i dont I have a loving wife and wounderful 5 month old son that is I would spend all my time with if I could, but I know I cant. I dont want to claim to the top of anything because with my family I feel that I aready have reached the top, even throw I make less money then my wife and she has the insurents for our family I am ok with that. I want to know if I should be. should I be the type of person that has the corner office, but my children and wife only know me as a pay check, but I am marred to my work and one day when I am 55 yrs old I fall over dead in office, but hay I was a big shot in life. I dont want to be that person but should I want to be?
 
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worried
October 8, 2006, 8:48 pm CDT

I dont know what I want to be when I grow up

 I am married with a child I love my wife and boys very much, and have a job that I like but it is a dead end jobs, the dosent pay very much and I may be in it for top 5 more years. I just dont know what I want to be when I grow up. I have very I want I just dont know how to make more money so I can spend more time with then, I and going to test what I may be good at and then go that way, but I dont know what that is. this that wrong? the reason I ask is becouse I am 30 yrs old and I know I should what more but I dont and if I didnt I dont know what that is.
 
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worried
October 27, 2006, 5:43 am CDT

am I running

 my wife and I both work full time and have a 6 mo old son that is the light of our world. this is the rub my wife and I dont make enught money to pay our bill every month. before we had daycare cost it was not a problem and my wife want to spend more time with our son, so right now we are looking in to me going back in to the military with all the benifites there in and right now this is a draw back, but we have talk about that too. well my heart tell me that this is right for me to do for my family, but my head keep asking me if this is me running away from hard work in corprate america with I dont want to do anyway the corpate  america. or keep the job I have alread and not make enught money and see my wife unhappy going to work every day not being able to stay home with him, I know If I rejoin I will miss him too, but I know I would be providing my wife and son a good life and it would cost me is time away from them, so am I running?
 
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hopeful
November 17, 2006, 5:40 am CST

were is the line

I am going back in to the Army after a 6 yrs gap in service, but this time I hole new out look on it. Now I am marryed, and have a 7 mo old son. I will do anything for the both of them I love them so much. I was in the active army for 6.5 yrs before I got out, and then there was no way I was going to make a career out of it no way. well now I see it well it only 14ys tell I can retire that is nothing right only a little bit over 4000 days( not that I conted):). I am going back in as a Sgt. (E-5) and in 14 yrs there is no reason why I cant move up two pay grades, but my major worrie about this is were do i draw the line between moving up in rank so that I can make more money for my family, and spending time with the family. I want to give my wife, son and what ever other children may come long a good life one were dont need to worry about  money, I dont want to miss anything working to give it to them? I know that I will have to miss some thing, but were do I draw that line between my career and family. I dont know. I need a little help here. I know it may be a cross the bridge when we come to it, and a talk to my wife issue as well we have talked a little bit, but I dont think she know who much is involed and I cant remmber how much time is involded to tell her. I know she will suport me in this. I want to do it for her so that she can stay home with the kids and not have to work. I just dont want to her to hate me for working to get ahead for our family that I didnt spend anytime with her and the family. May be I need to write out some goals and work to reach them, and share them with her. I will do anything for them I dont care what toll it take on me, I just want to be in there life as more them just a pay check. I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 
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frustrated
November 24, 2006, 7:18 am CST

15 down 10 to go

I have been on a diet and execurse program for the past three weeks and have lost 15 pds, 2.5 inch from my west and 1.5 inch form you neck now most peolpe would he happy about it and I am but I am trying to get in to back in the Army so that my wife dose not have to work and stay home with our son. Three wks ago I tip the sagles at 248pds, and wast of 43.5 and neck of 18. and I standed 6'2.5. Now in the past 3 wks I have lost 14pds down to 234pds, wast of 41 inch and my neck is now 16.5 inchs. witch is grate just this one little thing according to the Army I am still too heavy by a about will 5 pds and to be safe 10 pds. the thing that is throwing me off is my neck if I was still 18 inchs it would be all good but going down to 16.5 inchs, and I have grown a half a inch in hight so now I stand 6'3.  I have cut back on cal in take and cut out soda, fast food and prased food like frozen pizza and the like so a total diet make over, and spend between 1 to 2 hrs a day and six days and for of the six day in the gym for at lest a 1.5 hrs and I am see results and fast witch is good, but it discuring that I still have to work because my neck go smaller what kinds of non since is that. I know all the work will pay off in the end but I and so very frustrated by it right now. I just have to work harder this week then I did last week to go down my goals is 6 pds this week. The most frustrating part is I know I am so close, but becasue of my hard work the bar has moved again and that is very very crabbing making to me I need some incurament , and to get back to the gym and work harder this week and next week. going for under 225pds that is what will not make is a problem anymore. The neck work out I have been doing is out because it didnt work. So dose any one advice on how to grow my neck quick.   
 
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hopeful
December 4, 2006, 4:07 pm CST

work on yourself

Quote From: aaliyah1979

Hello everyone I am 15 going on 16 years of age and well i REALLY need some tips on the best way to lose weight because i have never been on a date and never had a boyfriend and i am sick and tired of being the nice chubby girl or the smart chubby girl..so if anyone could help me out or just give me some motivation in general it would be greatly appreciated because i really haven't the slightest clue on weight loss and i would absolutely love to look breathtaking for my senior prom which is in two years.

Girl there is nothing wrong with being smart, and your are 16 yrs old you do not need a boyfriend becasue you got to discover how your are and what you want to do with your life.  focus on yourself and not on boy then when you know how you are then you will be ready for a man and you will be a gift and treasture. On as far as the wight find something that you like to do and do that ok, and remmber most high school boys probley still should be in day care. If that help if not I am sorry.

 

 

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