Quote From: mustbecrazyI'm glad that you are concerned for your wife. I don't think that you need to feel like a jerk for being frustrated with your situation. My husband gets plenty frustrated with me, I'm sure. We have been married for 26 years, and much of that comes from knowing when to speak up and when to keep quiet. At times of extreme moods, it is time to deal with the situation without criticizing...it may seem like we can control it, but we really cannot when things go really out of balance.
The trick is recognizing the mood shifts before they get out of hand. If you can tell your wife that you think she looks or acts like she is depressed, or manic (whatever the case may be), she may open up more to you and tell you what is going on inside her head. My husband often sees that I am manic before I realize it.
Look on the internet. NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) has a really good web site at nami.org On the web site, they explain bipolar disorder in terms that regular people like us can understand. You can also find out where they are located nearest to where you live. They have local support groups specifically for bipolar disorder, and for families of people with bipolar disorder. It may help you to meet others with spouses who have bipolar disorder. You might be surprised at how much you have in common.
Just a side note, the decision to use alcohol often happens when a person is in their teens. The tendancy for addiction is thought to be genetic in many cases. A person predisposed to addiction, who uses alcohol or drugs, is more likely to become addicted to them. Not experiencing addiction myself, I can't imagine what a struggle it must be to try to break free of it. It's not just a simple matter of will power.
As for the cause of bipolar disorder, it is thought to be genetic...passed on from parent to child...many people with mental illness have at least one relative who also has a mental illness. So, instead of trying to change the genes...not possible at this time...the drug companies work hard to develop medicines to treat the symptoms and bring the brain chemicals back into balance. Many of the mood-stabilizing drugs were originally developed to control seizures in people with epilepsy, or other seizure disorders. Doctors and researchers soon realized that these drugs also work well to stabilize a person's moods, and then they began prescribing them to treat bipolar disorder. Many of these drugs work very well, but how well a certain medication works for a person is unique to that person...drugs don't work the same way on every person. That is why there are so many choices of medications to use. It takes time to find the right combination of medications for a person, which don't have too many undesirable side effects for that person.
Do you see a counselor to deal with your issues of being the husband of a woman with bipolar disorder? It might be helpful for you to talk it out with a neutral party, who can direct you on how to discuss the issues with your wife in a loving and caring way.
Please keep us posted on how you and your wife are doing.
Becky
Becky thank you for that website info I will look into it, and see were it gose. I know from my last few post it seem like my wife bipolar is out of control, but she and her dr has it under control with like you sade a combo of drugs and she is in a good place with it and when she has a side effect that she dont like she let her dr know and they will try another one so that is good there, and yes I have been with her to see her dr with her and voice what I see her doing and any issue that my arrise there. I will tell you most of the time I will talk with my after and ask what that means and she explams it to me so I can understand, not that I am I idot but as you may have since form my past posting I see thing alittle bit driffert then most. My main consern is the health and well been of my wife. What do you know about the new brain scan that they have been adverting for on TV. I think that would be a good thing dont you. I mean that may help dr see were they need to work in the brain and this is been my main issue it with the pychologel dr the to give meds and not really know what is going on. It may be miss digesnosed in some cases. I am not say in all it just saying in some and it seen like if by useing the brain scan it may see what is really going on. To my mind it would be like going to a dr after you enjured you arms and he tell you will it broken where going to put it in cast with even touching or taking a e-ray to see what is going on with the bone. I am not say Bipolar is not a real problem becasue it is, I see it everyday and it brakes my heart to that the woman I love it battling this and all we can hope for is a stale mate. you know maybe I do need to talk to someone about my feeling about it, but you know that will probley just get my more upset because I will feel that here noting that can be done to fix it the hope it just to deal with it, and I know that is what is going to happen with me but it is make a person feel so very helpless and I dont like it. Well I thank you again for the website and thinking I am I jerk for my loving but maybe at seemingly cold and uncaring remarks, But I assure you that that it is coming from a very deep and Loving place in my heart.
