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Messages By: peeplvr

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September 6, 2006, 4:04 pm PDT

second couple

I have a thought. Maybe the reason the second husband does not help around the house is because his wife has totally immasculated (sp?!?) him.  I am surprised that Dr. Phil did not mention this passive-aggressive (sp) behavior. If my husband kept commenting about he makes most of the money and he can spend it the way he wants because he earned, I may not be to keen to do anything to help him. Obviously  he has it all under control! Don't get me wrong, the husband needs to help, but that wife came across as kind ot not very nice person to live with.
 
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September 6, 2006, 4:08 pm PDT

09/06 Mr. Mooch

Quote From: mamadean

I totally agree with you. I came to the site for that very reason. I wanted to email the show and ask about why Dr. Phil did not address that Tricia said more than once "I make 3 times more than him" and also the "I worked for the money, I can spend it any way that I like" statement.  I've bn married 14 yrs. I have usually made less than my husband but a couple of years ago this changed and I now make more, but it has never crossed my mind that our money is MY money because I'm making more. I have the same respect for my husband if not MORE, because it is not easy for a man to make less, considering how society looks at it.

 

I also normally agree with Dr. Phil's advice, but he missed the mark regarding that their issue goes past his income.

I agree! I just posted a message regarding the second couple! I think that man's self esteem has taken a beating with all this talk about her money. I think he doesn't do housework to get back at her, classic passive-aggressive. How could Dr. Phil miss that?
 
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September 19, 2006, 3:41 pm PDT

are you kidding?

This Mother-in-law reminds me of my mother. Three out four of us have nothing to do with her and none of the sons-in-law talk to her. I only talk to her because she is my mom and I don't want to feel guilty if she dies.  But if she ever treated my husband this outrageously, I would never talk to her again. When you get married,  you (and I am going to paraphrase here) leave your parents and cleave to your spouse. 

 
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September 19, 2006, 3:46 pm PDT

I understand

Quote From: traceymay

I absolutely agree! She completely aggravated me just hearing her annoying, self pitying dialogue. I am not suprised that the daughter in law was pushed right over the edge. I could barely stand listening to her for the better part of an hour.

I think that MIL getting DIL arrested is a major deal breaker and that alone justifies a severing of the relationship with her.

Nasty woman who doesn't even have the backbone to stand up and admit what she has done which tells me she knows it was wrong.

All I could think of listening to that woman talk was what a you-know-what! Toxic, I know Dr. Phil wants to find ways to make it work and I admire that, but sometimes you just have to cut your losses. That husband needs to figure out if he wants his marriage and family or does he want to make mommy happy.
 
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September 19, 2006, 3:51 pm PDT

one more thing...

Don't believe that 'she's an old woman how could she harm anyone' business. My mother once told us that no matter what she did, no one would ever take our side because she looked like Mrs. Claus and no one would think anything bad about her. It is mostly true. Until someone has the misfortune of being on the recieving end of her wrath, they always take that 'sweet old lady's' side.

 
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September 19, 2006, 8:37 pm PDT

apples and oranges

Quote From: boonana

 

 

I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU ALSO BUT IF YOU ARE DRINKING I THINK THE KIDS GET A MIXED MESSAGE. NOT OK FOR GRANDMA BUT OK FOR MOM?

There is a big difference between an alcoholic drinking in front of the kids and a someone who is not an alcoholic drinking in front of the kids. It is called self-control. Besides, one person is an alcoholic and now nobody can enjoy a drink now and again?

 
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September 20, 2006, 9:28 am PDT

boo-hoo

Quote From: divajo

hi there,
i think what your MIL did was terrible but she if feeling unloved. I would arrange a family meeting where u tell her what impact her  behaviour has had and how it is not on. Try to establish a middle ground so that u can have a relationship with her, but tell her if she plays these games then the relationship is over. She has gone thru a turbulent time but her behaviour is appalling and if she does not agree to a civilised relationship then I would tell her that you do not wish to see her until she wishes to behave like an adult.
She is feeling un-loved so she calls CPS on her daughter-in-law? I'm sorry, that poor pitiful me excuse does not wash with me. We have all, I am sure, felt un-loved at some point in our lives. We do not all choose to act out and try to destroy other people's lives. Calling CPS? They could have taken their child away!?! To me that would be UNFORGIVABLE. You don't mess with someone's kids.
 
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September 20, 2006, 9:35 am PDT

what?

Quote From: picabo

My husband and I have been cut off at the waist.  We returned last year, from Disney World with our 2 granddaughters.  We knew then something was wrong. We have tried to contact our daughter.  Never in our lives did we ever believe we could be in such a situation.  No contact is allowed with our daughter or granddaughters.  My own Mother chose our daughter and her family over us. We have no idea how they are and what is happening.  We have tried all kinds of things to have her respond, but almost a year later we know nothing.  The biggest thing is our daughter's husband has had his hand in all of this.  He is a selfish selfcentered, lier and a cheat.  If he would spend as much time trying to cheat someone or hurt them or get out of working. He maybe would be OK, but he also is a sports NUT.

i hate to trivialize, but what does being a sports nut have to do with anything? Is this like a 'breast implant'  thing?
 
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September 20, 2006, 11:46 am PDT

Just a thought...

Please understand, I am not perfect and I was soooo not a virgin when I got married, so I am not judging anyone.  A thought just occured to me as I thought of my past lousy ex-es and what not.  I think we as women are partly to blame. I can think of times when maybe I let a realtionship get to the next level (sex) before I really knew a person. How many times have we done that? ANd let's face it, once sex is involved the stakes are so much higher and the hurt so much more painful.  I wish as a society we could break away from the whole 'sex and the city' mentality of jumping into bed with people so quickly.  If we took longer to really get to know someone, perhaps we would realize what cads they are before we really get hurt. Then the need for revenge would be unnecessary.
 
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September 20, 2006, 11:52 am PDT

two wrongs...

Quote From: hollyjustice

I'm not sure how I feel about this topic. I mean how long have men been writing girls phone #'s on whatever they felt like, along with phrases like "For a good time call Jane Doe", those were anonomous, should we now take to court the schools, or property owners where this was written and not painted over?

Girls have always been told to " GET OVER IT". 

 

It just kind of feels like it's ok to call a woman a whore, but not a man.

 

GIRLS I HAVE ONE WORD """SEXISM""""

 

Past wrongs make future ones ok? I think that writing names on the bathroom wall is pathetic and so it writing it on the internet.  The big difference is damage. I doubt a limerick on a bathroomwall ever caused as much damage as what a posting online can do. This could mess with someone's livlihood.  You want to vent, fine, just leave names out of it. Just complain online about mr. x and leave it at that. 
 

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