Messages By: swissmickey

   All I have to say to the butt in law problem is parents back off and support from a distance you will get much better results from your children.

  To the married couples...STAND TOGETHER regardless...of "how much you may love mommie" or Daddy's little girl...grow up, be an adult and resposible for your own families.

   When my boyfriend (which because we lived in Texas was my husband) said he would take his mothers side if things came down to fist to cuffs when we were watching a DR.PHIL show years ago.....I knew I was in trouble...When we moved up  here to Chicago..the womans verbal abuse of me assisted to send me into a downward spiral in my alcoholism...THANK GOD...I hit bottom left him and am 2 1/2 years clean...she drove him in the same direction and now he is almost 1 year clean and we are best of friends....however.....the 3 of us are NEVER EVER in the same place together for the SECURITY OF MY SANITY AND SOBERITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Remember.....You and your family first!!!!

      You know ladies, its bad enough to get scammed in person, but over the internet by someone you don't really know???  What are you thinking???

  Men lie to you across the dinner table while holding your hand, how can you believe that they really love you however thousand miles away especially when they are asking for money???  Contracters anywhere technically make good money ANYWHERE they are so stop sending him money and if he truly "LOVES" you send him an invitation to the dinner place of your choice in your city and that will be the beginning of the proof.

    Wake yourselves up by looking at your bank account and remembering what bill you waited to pay or what you gave up buying for yourself to send him money. 

         Isn't the reason for getting married for legal reasons, and the "old-fashioned" idea of til death do us part?

     If you have been living together for how many ever years, playing house, and the only thing missing is the legal document don't bully someone into marrying you.  All that does is cause a lawyer to get excited for the ending to begin.

   In Texas, if you live together for 6mo. you are considered married..move there if its so important to you. 

If its for the childrens last names just give them Daddys last name....

   You want to be happy about your life not fighting for what YOU want.  Think about the whole picture, not just your piece of the puzzle.

          You know what??  These kids are suffering enough, emotional damage lasts longer than physical damage and often carries into adulthood.  Let's stop this NOW!!  The mother does not deserve them right now because her "drug of choice" apparently is herself and her boyfriends.  The father needs to put his full heart and soul into healing his wounds with his children by his side and make his single-parenthood a joyous one.  Who needs a worthless mother around, just love her from a distance and as time goes on the boys will deal with forgiving her for the hell she has put them through on their own.

Family first-- Right Dr. Phil????

         You know I had a 33 year addiction and have been clean for 21/2 years...I am grateful in my DUI I did not hurt anyone but myself (physically) but emotionally I hurt my family enormously!!!  I had a terrible car wreck and darn near died...but my family had to suffer and watch them do major brain surgery on me!!! But you know what?? Since I did not feel it when I got off of probation I started all over again!!!! Then I almost lost my daughter...went  to rehab. in order to keep her..pleased my family for a while and started again...You know I got so sick, physically, bleeding everywhere, couldn't touch me, couldn't eat, drank but it came back, sick that it made me go to the hospital and THEY told me I was going to die very soon if I kept this up....THAT WOKE ME UP and now I realize there is nothing better than conquering my past, present and future with a clear head and lots of assistance from other people that have the EXACT SAME PROBLEMS!!!

             I admire your generousity in assisting with Toys for Tots and all those that are less fortuate than others. 

             I believe that each time you reach out to help others through their problems you are adding more and more to your bank account of weath of inner love and strength.  Personally, the more I watch and use some of your ideas along with the ones from my own recovery groups and the ones I am learning from my own CADC license classes in college...I am growing faster and healthier every day. It is hard to believe that after having a 33 year addiction that I am approaching my 3rd year of soberity and life is so beautiful.

Thank you and Happy Holidays to you and your family

Leila Kask

       As a woman, you may be feeling the ole "biological clock" ticking away or the "social clock" kicking around, but honestly what is more important in your own heart? 

Is tolerating the lack of commitment worth your own self-esteem or as a father figure would you REALLY have wanted to marry someone like your father who has been in and out of your life on a regular basis and leaving you with an interabadonment issue?? 

A strong loving committed companion whom you can trust in with your inner most thoughts, secrets and has EARNED his place in your heart and soul is what is more deserving than what you are "settling for".

You and your daughter should be the one and only concern for happiness, get balance and stability for the two of you through the two of you and maybe one day a real man will come and earn a place in your family.

Look to your heart and believe in what God tells you is right..he knows.

     It is now 2007, look back into your life and see if you can find a time where you the happiest.  Why is it that most women and sometimes men, feel that they have to have some live in, chaotic, disaster messing with their own space and serenity??

     I did that for years, because I had a problem with being alone, when I figured out why I overcame that and moved on to the next thing holding me in misery.  Little by little I fell in Love with myself and am grateful that God has always been there by my side through it all.  He has always been there, it was ME who abandoned him and his spirit and I can say Thank God he has given me the chance to overcome things I never thought possible.

    It is not a religious feeling, I do not believe in religion, it is totally a strong SPIRITUAL connection in which I am blessed with and I pray you have the same strength one day. 

Being alone in my own home now, going to school, keeping a strong contact with God is very simple and and extrodinary life. 

 Try it if you don't like it go back to the misery you are in NOW.

         I am 45 years old and am going to college to get my degrees, and as I look around and observe the other students who are of different ages, race, cultural backgrounds, neighborhoods and such I see why "society" has such a mixed idea as to what is right from wrong. 

        It gives me a chance to change my own ideas if they were too rigid and to stand strong on ones that I believe to be right or wrong.  I rely on the interfeelings that God provides me with daily, because my old behavior got me into too much trouble for years. 

       Get over your ex and whatever he may have done...you are allowing him to live "rent free" inside your head and taking up space that if you used all that energy in a more productive and positive way you would be further along in growth than you are now.   I just learned a new meaning to the word "FORGIVE"....sit back and think about the lessons you have learned from this past relationship and what you do not want to carry on to another...and inside your head say..thank you ..."For giving me the chance to go through this now, so I don't carry it on with someone else"     I have found it to be quite helpful and growing, because anything that hurts has to have a lesson in it, if I don't learn from it, its bound to happen again until I do learn the lesson. 

   Money is money and in todays economy its very short for us common people.  If you find something that belongs to someone else, it gives you a very great warm fuzzy feeling to see the delight on their face.  Whose to say its the last of the money they had for the month and it was to pay for their childs outstanding medical bill....wouldn't you feel like garbage if you had it and used it for something selfish???   Thinking about others feelings needs to be drilled into our childrens heads as they are growing up as they were when us..the "baby boomers" were taught.

God Bless one and all.