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Messages By: swissmickey

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September 16, 2006, 9:08 pm CDT

God Bless You All

Quote From: redhotz

I want to extend hope to anyone out there who has trouble with their in-laws.  I had problems with my father-in-law as did my sister-in-law.  However, I came out differently than she did, and depending on how each person looks at it, I feel I came out more fortunate than she.  MY husband stood by MY side and hers (my husbands brother) did not stand by her side.  There were issues of their father "overstepping his bounds" with us and our comfort levels when it came to what my therapist called "sexual harrassment."  I didn't know or realize it was considered "sexual harrassment until my therapist told me that ANYTHING that makes ME feel uncomfortable is just that, SEXUAL HARRASSMENT.  So I hope anyone reading this who has a question be it from a father in law or anyone of the opposite sex will be helped.  Anyway....I hope you and your spouse can find a common ground and make things work, because the one thing that has been tough is that our children miss their grandma.  AND I MISS HER TOO, she and I had an awsome, one of a kind  mother in law/daughter in law relationship.  One like no other.  I shared things with her I didn't share with my own mother, we did our nails together, we talked about hair care together.  I MISS HER, however, she made a decision to stand by her man.  And for that her son, myself, and our children do not have her in our life.  Someday I hope that will change, but until then, we keep her in our prayers.  GOOD LUCK TO THOSE WHO HAVE IN LAW ISSUES.  Don't let it come between you and your spouse and ruin your marriage.  STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES.  My husband did, and we are married 15 years strong!

 

   All I have to say to the butt in law problem is parents back off and support from a distance you will get much better results from your children.

 

  To the married couples...STAND TOGETHER regardless...of "how much you may love mommie" or Daddy's little girl...grow up, be an adult and resposible for your own families.

 

   When my boyfriend (which because we lived in Texas was my husband) said he would take his mothers side if things came down to fist to cuffs when we were watching a DR.PHIL show years ago.....I knew I was in trouble...When we moved up  here to Chicago..the womans verbal abuse of me assisted to send me into a downward spiral in my alcoholism...THANK GOD...I hit bottom left him and am 2 1/2 years clean...she drove him in the same direction and now he is almost 1 year clean and we are best of friends....however.....the 3 of us are NEVER EVER in the same place together for the SECURITY OF MY SANITY AND SOBERITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Remember.....You and your family first!!!!

 
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September 23, 2006, 1:01 pm CDT

Are you really THAT desprite????

 

 

      You know ladies, its bad enough to get scammed in person, but over the internet by someone you don't really know???  What are you thinking???

 

  Men lie to you across the dinner table while holding your hand, how can you believe that they really love you however thousand miles away especially when they are asking for money???  Contracters anywhere technically make good money ANYWHERE they are so stop sending him money and if he truly "LOVES" you send him an invitation to the dinner place of your choice in your city and that will be the beginning of the proof.

 

    Wake yourselves up by looking at your bank account and remembering what bill you waited to pay or what you gave up buying for yourself to send him money. 

 

 

 
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September 23, 2006, 1:12 pm CDT

Once a bully always a bully......

 

 

         Isn't the reason for getting married for legal reasons, and the "old-fashioned" idea of til death do us part?

 

     If you have been living together for how many ever years, playing house, and the only thing missing is the legal document don't bully someone into marrying you.  All that does is cause a lawyer to get excited for the ending to begin.

 

   In Texas, if you live together for 6mo. you are considered married..move there if its so important to you. 

If its for the childrens last names just give them Daddys last name....

 

   You want to be happy about your life not fighting for what YOU want.  Think about the whole picture, not just your piece of the puzzle.

 

 
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October 7, 2006, 1:37 pm CDT

Just get A divorce and get on with life...

Quote From: cindyeb

 David-this show made me ill! Speaking as a human being, not even as an advocate, what was the judge thinking? I couldn't stand to listen to one word that came out of the father's mouth. I didn't even trust the attorney! This is a perfect time to have used a CASA in the courtroom. At least in Texas, the judges value their opinions and really do listen to our findings. We have access to records, visitations, Dr.'s records and can go to medical appointments, visit schools, talk with teaches, etc... This little boy was too young to be in school, but I do fear for him. I'm not sure running and hiding is the answer, although, Lord knows what I'd do if faced with that situation.
I do think this man is evil and could hurt the grandmother to get to the child.
Again, what was the judge thinking? He has been away from his "son" for so long, how does he know he can parent. If this man works, who will take care of the boy during the day-daycare or a sitter? Right now he lives in a loving environment with Grandma who only has his interest at heart.
SAD,SAD,SAD! This man didn't even receive adequate punishment for KILLING his beloved son's MOMMY!
That's my opinion.(For what it's worth!)

 

          You know what??  These kids are suffering enough, emotional damage lasts longer than physical damage and often carries into adulthood.  Let's stop this NOW!!  The mother does not deserve them right now because her "drug of choice" apparently is herself and her boyfriends.  The father needs to put his full heart and soul into healing his wounds with his children by his side and make his single-parenthood a joyous one.  Who needs a worthless mother around, just love her from a distance and as time goes on the boys will deal with forgiving her for the hell she has put them through on their own.

 

Family first-- Right Dr. Phil????

 
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October 7, 2006, 1:48 pm CDT

All of us Addict/Alcoholics know she has not hit yet.....

 

 

         You know I had a 33 year addiction and have been clean for 21/2 years...I am grateful in my DUI I did not hurt anyone but myself (physically) but emotionally I hurt my family enormously!!!  I had a terrible car wreck and darn near died...but my family had to suffer and watch them do major brain surgery on me!!! But you know what?? Since I did not feel it when I got off of probation I started all over again!!!! Then I almost lost my daughter...went  to rehab. in order to keep her..pleased my family for a while and started again...You know I got so sick, physically, bleeding everywhere, couldn't touch me, couldn't eat, drank but it came back, sick that it made me go to the hospital and THEY told me I was going to die very soon if I kept this up....THAT WOKE ME UP and now I realize there is nothing better than conquering my past, present and future with a clear head and lots of assistance from other people that have the EXACT SAME PROBLEMS!!!

 

 
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November 11, 2006, 8:17 pm CST

What are you thinking, woman???

I am an animal lover, but....when is enough, enough?  I believe that spaying and neutering your animals is not only necessary but a HEALTH issue for them and the neighborhood.  Do you not have any respect for yourself or your neighbors??  Do you think only the cats stink up your house and yard and do not bother anybody else?  If thats it you need to be checked yourself for mental problems because this is an absolute sickness.
 
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December 9, 2006, 5:10 pm CST

Dr Phil & Robin...

 

 

             I admire your generousity in assisting with Toys for Tots and all those that are less fortuate than others. 

             I believe that each time you reach out to help others through their problems you are adding more and more to your bank account of weath of inner love and strength.  Personally, the more I watch and use some of your ideas along with the ones from my own recovery groups and the ones I am learning from my own CADC license classes in college...I am growing faster and healthier every day. It is hard to believe that after having a 33 year addiction that I am approaching my 3rd year of soberity and life is so beautiful.

 

Thank you and Happy Holidays to you and your family

Leila Kask

 
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December 16, 2006, 6:33 am CST

You may "Love Him" but why the push????

Quote From: nikkilee24

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years.  He has been living with me for 2 of the years.  He has been in my daughters life ever since she was a year old.  She looks up to him like a father figure, since her dad is in and out of her life so much.  I have talked about marriage, I am 26 and he is 34 And i am ready for that family life again.  I was married once before and it failed due to a cheating husband.  The guy I am with now went through my divorce with me from begging to end.  I am ready to have a family, marriage and his family asks him when he is getting married, he tells them he is testing the water.  They tell me I will be nothing else but his girlfriend and that I should just leave him, but my daughter thinks his family is her family and both of us will be crushed.  I just don't know what to do.  I try talking about it and he say he wants to get married, but then we get deep in the subject and it just starts a fight.  Does anyone have an advise for me? Please help.

 

 

 

       As a woman, you may be feeling the ole "biological clock" ticking away or the "social clock" kicking around, but honestly what is more important in your own heart? 

 

Is tolerating the lack of commitment worth your own self-esteem or as a father figure would you REALLY have wanted to marry someone like your father who has been in and out of your life on a regular basis and leaving you with an interabadonment issue?? 

A strong loving committed companion whom you can trust in with your inner most thoughts, secrets and has EARNED his place in your heart and soul is what is more deserving than what you are "settling for".

 

You and your daughter should be the one and only concern for happiness, get balance and stability for the two of you through the two of you and maybe one day a real man will come and earn a place in your family.

 

Look to your heart and believe in what God tells you is right..he knows.

 
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January 2, 2007, 7:19 am CST

Get out and be Happy

 

     It is now 2007, look back into your life and see if you can find a time where you the happiest.  Why is it that most women and sometimes men, feel that they have to have some live in, chaotic, disaster messing with their own space and serenity??

 

     I did that for years, because I had a problem with being alone, when I figured out why I overcame that and moved on to the next thing holding me in misery.  Little by little I fell in Love with myself and am grateful that God has always been there by my side through it all.  He has always been there, it was ME who abandoned him and his spirit and I can say Thank God he has given me the chance to overcome things I never thought possible.

 

    It is not a religious feeling, I do not believe in religion, it is totally a strong SPIRITUAL connection in which I am blessed with and I pray you have the same strength one day. 

Being alone in my own home now, going to school, keeping a strong contact with God is very simple and and extrodinary life. 

 

 Try it if you don't like it go back to the misery you are in NOW.

 
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February 24, 2007, 7:42 am CST

Its all in the soul.......

Quote From: mkw2004

 Well I haven't even seen the show yet but I can say this....it all depends on how you are raised..morally...lovingly with good values. I would say that "getting back at an ex" is time wasted, when one can try to move on and repair their psyche with the energy used for revenge. As long as one uses their energy for ill, they will continue to be in a "toxic mode" and therefore, the EX is winning still.

Have I done things mentioned..like giving back money, when the cashier made a mistake...absolutely because that cashier has to account for the money and it will come out of the cashiers salary. So, it's stealing, plain and simple.

My husband found a wallet on the ground at a gas station. When he came home called the person that he found the wallet and he would send it to him..which he did. The man wanted to give my husband a cash reward, he refused, he told the man..no thank you because it's the right thing to do. The following week a gift basket came to the house with a card thanking my husband for his honesty. Things like this happened several times in the 25 yrs we are married and I'm proud to say, that we have good values. Just to see the people who lost their personal possesions and get every thing back, intact, is gratifying.

 

After all what one puts out into the world...one gets back!

 

         I am 45 years old and am going to college to get my degrees, and as I look around and observe the other students who are of different ages, race, cultural backgrounds, neighborhoods and such I see why "society" has such a mixed idea as to what is right from wrong. 

 

        It gives me a chance to change my own ideas if they were too rigid and to stand strong on ones that I believe to be right or wrong.  I rely on the interfeelings that God provides me with daily, because my old behavior got me into too much trouble for years. 

       Get over your ex and whatever he may have done...you are allowing him to live "rent free" inside your head and taking up space that if you used all that energy in a more productive and positive way you would be further along in growth than you are now.   I just learned a new meaning to the word "FORGIVE"....sit back and think about the lessons you have learned from this past relationship and what you do not want to carry on to another...and inside your head say..thank you ..."For giving me the chance to go through this now, so I don't carry it on with someone else"     I have found it to be quite helpful and growing, because anything that hurts has to have a lesson in it, if I don't learn from it, its bound to happen again until I do learn the lesson. 

   Money is money and in todays economy its very short for us common people.  If you find something that belongs to someone else, it gives you a very great warm fuzzy feeling to see the delight on their face.  Whose to say its the last of the money they had for the month and it was to pay for their childs outstanding medical bill....wouldn't you feel like garbage if you had it and used it for something selfish???   Thinking about others feelings needs to be drilled into our childrens heads as they are growing up as they were when us..the "baby boomers" were taught.

God Bless one and all.

 

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