Messages By: shagga70

I am from Australia and am a mother of four children and was at home for most of their growing up. I cannot say that I understand, I am haunted by the  young boy in the program and the pain and suffering he endured. I was deeply distressed by the visions that were shown on the program and the knowledge that these children suffered in this way on a regular basis.  My heart aches for those precious children and I can only pray that this will never happen to them again.  I have read other messages and there are many that are almost sympathetic of the mother.  You were right when you said, They did it because they could.  I do not have any sympathy for that woman and I believe that her husband was as much involved.  I cannot understand how children can be treated in that way with the other parent not being aware, I am concerned that your action of putting the father as a supervisor may have been a mistake.  This vision will haunt me forever and after your show, All I could do was hug my own children and tell them how much I loved them.    I cannot say that I have never been angry with my children and that I havent said things that I havent regretted, Parents who are perfect usually have nannys that take the heat off.  It is hard being a parent of a large family and non of us are perfect, but that woman and others like her are evil and the vision of her dramatic change when the phone rang is a clue that she is complete control of her actions.  I hope the children know by now that they are special and precious and that they never have to suffer this again.  To any one reading that is guilty of teh same CRIME, pull your head and stop, because if those children do survive you, they will grow up and GOD HELP YOU THEN

I have only recently signed up to this site after the angry mom episode, which mind you I am still deeply distressed over and would like to see an update.  I cannot understand where these people come from and I am a little confused as to how it can be lawful to put children into an environment which is so potentially dangerous.  Dr Phil I love your show to bits I really do but just tlike angry mom, I am a extremely concerned that abuse is allowed to happen while tapes are rolling only to be talked about later.  Some families are certainley beyond help and some people do not deserve a second chance.   I believe in your phrase "Get Real" but I think you should add to it "Get steralised".  Dr phil I will watch your show, I am upset by what I see, But I do not think our heads shoudl be in the sand either.  Please these children need to come first, even before ratings.  I live in Australia and I am aware that such behaviour happens here too, I can tell you though Dr Phil that I have learned to appreciate my children so much more and I thank God for them every day. 

 

I agree, Iyt must also be noted that this activity is illegal and these people should not be put into treatment but into prison and the children should be sent to a family who will take proper care of them..... 

 I think it is very easy for people to judge, My husband is a contract builder and we do not have a guaranteed pay check.  I have been a stay at home mother for many years and have only just gone into part time work.

 

For all of our years we have lived with the fear that if the pay check dosent come in or if there is not enough work for even one or weeks we will not pay our morgage.  I have four children and our income is very modest, not much left over at the end of any week.

 

I think that it is important to understand that not all of us are out here being irresponsible and blowing our money, most of us are doing the best we can, and despite our best efforts or intentions all it would take is one illness or a slow building month and my family would go under as well.   Financial pressures are the biggest problem in my household, My husband it very selfish, he takes care of his needs while I am very concerned very day that my families needs are taken care of.  I dont see an answer, the days of being happy that bills are paid and food is on the table are gone, every one wants to much, kids and husbands are not happy if they do not have what every one else has Drinking, smoking and loans to buy toys (big boys toys) will kill my marriage and my familes security.

 

I think that we need to get back to what is importanat, people need to be happy with what they have and to stop whining and start to think about what is really important.

 

When the majority of the population gets real and lives within their means and takes care of what is really important, then there may be adequate resources to take care of families and those who really need it.

 

Most of us are not in need of cash assistance, some need a reality check, others just need somone to show them that there is a better way and that their situation is not hopeless.

 

I am so tired of worrying that I am going to end up living in my car hanging out for my pension check, it drives me crazy.  I have been a  mother since I was 15, I am currently trying to educate myself so that I will hopefull get some sort of a job that may give my children some security.  I am not sitting around making my husband take care of us all, I am just taking some time to do what I should have done when I was younger and give myself an opportinity.  I have part time work, at an office of an Australian member of parliament and I have to provide assistance to many people who are in need, while I see many cases of people who have genuinly fallen on hard times, there are many like my family who just need to pull their heads in.

 

 

This is the second show that I have seen where there has been an assult occur on national TV and it is discussed and blown over.

 

I love Dr Phils show, most of the time I can take some of it and use it to help my own life, but I really object to a child being physically or verbally assaulted and the offender is spoken to and helped.

 

Take the witch and give her a piece of her own medicine, in australia (where I live) at least if you assault your child, the law deals with you, you dont get helped by a tv show.  I think that message needs to be put out that abusing your child is a crime not  a family problem.  What about the old circle of life, children are getting the message that violence is part of a problem that needs to be fixed. "CRAP" Violence is a crime and deserves punishment.  Help the family sure, they really need some help but there needs to be serious consequences for thier actions not just understanding, or else they will grow up to think that this is how you deal with their own children.

 

I do understand as well that parents are to be persecuted they will not come forward and tehse instance will go un noticed, but pleese,w we cannot go be entertained by childrens suffering

 

 

 

Either you have small children and are not there yet or you are older and you have not had to not bring up teens in todays society. But any one with such a hard attitude has not been there.

 

My 15 year old daughter as much as I loved her turned from a sweet loving girl to  ranting abusive and distructive lunatic.  Running away from home every thursday returning every sunday for school, obvious that she had a very big weekend.  Calling police trying to get help, no help available.  Young girl cursing , swearing physically abusive, threatening her three young brothers and sisters.

 

Finally I tried to send her to my parents, new school new beginning, My parents sent her back after three months, she had been kicked out of school and was bringing some very undesirable people to their home when they were not there.

 

Daughter came home, behaviour just the same, but now she could tell all her friends that her parents had kicked her out and that we were totally evil.

 

Going to a local house where drugs and underage sex where free.  I went to the house to get her and I was attacked by her 20 year old male friends and may other children  some as young as 10 who were at the house as well.  Called the police, was told that unless teh behaviour was happening in teh street they could do nothing.  Much of this happened marriage was suffereing

 

Finally she ran away again, I contacted an agency who told her that she didnt have to come home that if she wanted she got go to foster care and get away from the troubles at home.  (No trying to find a solution)  She was then given an allowance, more disposable cash that I had at the time and went to a foster home where she could do what ever she wanted, they said she was a dream, because they never said no, she went out with her older boyfriend with no objections so of course she was very happy for a while, until they noticed that she was becoming angry with them, they coudnt make her happy, she was a teen who wanted to be unhappy  I guess. I was being told of her behavior and made responsible for it but I was told that now she was in care I had no rights.

 

I had to distance my self from my daughter.  I was a wreck , my other children suffered as I was depressed and found day to day life difficult, I really tried but every day was a struggle.

 

My daughter turns 20 this week, she has a beautiful son and we get along very well, however she is very selfish and feels that we all owe her because of her troubled lilfe.   Foster care taught her that the world owed her, this I have to ignore excepth that the other children are starting to question why she is so special when she was the cause of so many problems

 

Unless you have walked a mile in a desperate parents shoes, do not judge.  Today kids are told that parents are nothing to be respected and that they have more rights that all else.  They have little responsibility and feel that the world owes them.  I pray that my other children dont give me the same grief because i coudl not go through it again.  Five years after my daughters issues and I still find it hard to cope with the lost years.

 

 

Obviously this person who made such helpful comments concerning this very upsetting show, has never had to deal with teens.

 

While I agree that you should never give up on your children, I have had first hand experience in the feeling that it can be too hard.

 

I am not talking "can't be bothered" I am talking, crying when you wake up because you just dont want to deal with a new day and what it will bring.

 

The first thought is always, must be the parents and I dont always agree, but I do think that the familys interaction patterns need to be looked at.  I had a read of Dr Phils "what sort of role model are you"  and I read with shame that my family scores very badly in many respects, so it is no wonder that in my own situation things turned very sour.

 

But on the other hand, even though I identified what the problems are, how do you reverse the damage and get things back on the right track.

 

Life with those boys on the show I can believe would be sheer hell, I hope that Dr Phil can help them, but it does not help any thing to look down on the mother. I also get a little tired of comments concerning mothering, It is not fair to say she has not done her job, you do not mould children, you guide as best you can and then at the end of the day, teenage children make the decision to be who they want to be.

 

I have 4 children who have all grown up in the same environment and I have only had trouble with one of my children, it is not to say that I have done a good job or a bad job, I have just done the very best that I can.

 

I applaud the mother for caring enough to ask for help, the courts would have turned down the application because they would have seen hope for this family, they need intervention not critisism.

 

 

 

 

Sorry but you are an absolute tool   !!!!

 

Yes she has done the wrong thing in the past, but grasp the fact that infidelity is usually the result of an unhappy relationship not the cause.

 

She bears her own part in her unhappiness, she should have left, but unfortunately we are all suffering our own demons and for what ever reason she felt that she could not leave, or maybe she like you felt she had some responsibility and tried to work it out.

 

But come on to behave in the insane way that he has shows signs of a complete lack of morality and Sanity.

 

Truly if you felt so threatened and insecure why would you continue the relationship.

 

I believe that no matter what she had done or did not do, he would be behaving in the same way.

 

To believe that someone is right to behave in such an insane way, is showing some sign of a few screws loose them self.

 

I do not believe that she turned him into a crazy man, More the other way around, A crazy man through his crazy ways turned her into the arms of another man.

 

He needs to take some responsibility for his own actions and if you truly belive what you have written, I am a little concerned for you to.