Message Boards

Messages By: alwill210

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote
blank
September 18, 2006, 12:01 am CDT

Coping with the Death of a Child

Five years later and it's still not easy.  I lost my daughter and best friend at that same moment of her death.
 
User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote
blank
October 20, 2006, 10:21 pm CDT

Coping with the Death of a Child

Quote From: mlazanis2003

It was just one year on 7/16/06 @ 1:40am that I lost my son James to the monster/deman of addiction. Everyone that new him and met him loved him.

He worked 24/7 and owned nothing. He was a carpenter and was building the Panthers homes here in NC.

My heart aches all day and all night.

Only a mother like you really knows.

I am so sorry for your loss.  This has been a very depressing week for me.  Wednesday was Alicia's birthday.  Although these birthdays come and go with much less heart ache, it still is a depressing time.  I am so glad that she didn't have a drug addition, even though drugs ( PhenFen and Pondiman) is what cut her life short.  She had a disease called Lupus Anticougulant Syndrome, age 16.  Her Hemotologist prescribed the infamous drug PhenFen and added the Pondimen to speed the effects of Phenfen.  She was on a blood thinner Coumaden and steriods for the anti-cougulant problem, 9 weeks later she was diagnosed with Myocarditis.  So, in a way I can understand the pain that you are feeling about the monsters and demons.  My monsters and demons are the illegal drugs.  Doctors herd us through the chute without cross checking the drugs that they prescribe and we take them at faith.  Not this Mama anymore.  I had 9 years of heart wrenching hell, watching her die.  I speak loud against ALL DRUGS, and that has been my therapy.  Tell your story, and just maybe one child, one adult, just someone will listen to your loss and be saved.  Have faith, and you are in my prayers.
 
User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote
quiet
October 26, 2006, 9:19 pm CDT

Coping with the Death of a Child

Quote From: gjl724

Good Afternoon,

My daughter Valerie passed away on January 11, 2005 she was married, no children and she was 33 yrs old.  It was December 4, 2004 that I got the call my daughter was being admitted to ICU with kidney and liver failure.  Well, for the next  5 weeks she was heavily sedated and in two different hospital ICU's.  Then, the day came when she had gotten better.  She was able to come home with oxygen, hospital bed, nurse, etc. etc.  And, do outpatient dialysis.  On Thursday, January 5, 2005 I met her at her dialysis.......the doctor said it would not be much longer that she would need dialysis.  While in the doctor's office she developed a fever....doctor gave her antibiotic iv and sent her home.  The fever did not break.  We ( husband and I) took her to the hospital.............while waiting for a bed................we were talking and in a very good mood she has a heart attack and for the next 6 days could not be stabilized.....and passed away. 

I miss her so much.  My heart breaks everyday.  I don't know how to get better.  I just want my daughter back.  I do take antidepressants but they don't help.  And, to make matters worse my ex son in law will not return my phone calls.  He said he would not do anything with my daughter's remains and her personal things without giving me the opportunity to have them back.  But, I guess he was not serious.  He also has personal things that belonged to my Mother.  I can't imagine what goes though someones mind.  I realize I don't know what he is going through losing a wife.  But, I do no that there is nothing in this world that compares to losing a CHILD>no matter what age.

 

Hopefully, someone can help me put this all in perspective.  Thanks for you help.

Gail

Gail-

 

Everytime I hear a Mother-in-LOSS story , my heart breaks and cries again.  The only thing that I can you, is that time softens the pain.  My daughters anniversary of  death is approaching (12/05 five years).  I finished celebrating what would have been her 30th birthday.

 

The thing that helped me the most was believing in the Lord Jesus Christ.  He had a plan for her and when that plan was completed he brought her home.  Over the course of nine years of her being sick (as a result of a neglect doctor prescribing drugs) we were told several times to bring the family together, that she would not last through the day or night.  Alicia died of congestive heart failure, and total organ shut-down.  I too am only antidepressants (2 DIFFERENT), they help to cope with the every day functions, but they do not take the pain away. 

 

My one piece of advice is to talk about her, as if she was still with you.  She was part of your life for 33 years.  Don't let anyone tell you to just suck it up and move on.  Remember all the great times that you had with her.  People don't want to talk her with you cause they don't know what to say, and these are the ones that won't you to move on.  How can you move on,  part of you is GONE!  I am thankful that I have a great daughter-in-law.  She lets me talk about her, remember her, and doesn't fault me.  Find someone that will let you vent, someone that knows that loss.  I too, want my daughter back, but not the way she was.  She was in so much pain the last 2 months of her life.  I watched her strave and shut down for nine days.  You will get better, remember that there are others out there that need you.  My DIL had to remind of that.

 

Another thing that has helped is, I started a past-time activity....machine embroidery.  I started making things for the nursing home residents, and now it has turned into a full time JOB.  I love it.  Each time I make something, I label it in memory of Alicia.  There is something for you, and you will find it, or shall I say, it will find you.  You are in my prayers.  I don't check this often, but if you want to correspond my email is alwill210@netzero.net.

 

Lynn

 

First Page | Previous Page | 1 | Next Page | Last Page
Return to Message Board