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Messages By: reginanteens

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September 22, 2006, 12:54 pm CDT

Hello Nikki

Quote From: ottonikki

My name is Nikki.  I was physically, emotionally abused as a child by both my mom and dad and I was sexually abused by my father.  My parents fought so bad that neighbors moved away because of us, doors, windows, phones, phone lines, dishes, t.v.s etc.. were replaced monthly sometimes weekly.  Every police officer in the city knew my entire family on a first name basis and I lived in a big city.  I was bullied so bad in school that I had no friends learned to run home from school so not to get beat up and got picked on so much I wanted to kill myself when I was 10 years old.  My father was a severe alcoholic and still is and my mother after finally divorcing him when I was 13 became an alcoholic herself and got together with another alcoholic just to start the abuse process up all over again.  I am now 24 years old and Im depressed and have anxiety, chronic shock disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and have just now realized that hey I am an adult child of an alcoholic.  There are many books on this topic just like there are books on alanon.  I never realized that living with the disease that I could take on the characteristics of the disease myself.  Now I'm faced with shuffling through all the hurt and pain that was in my youth that made me the distorted thinker that I am today and I'm having a really hard time with it.  I don't know how to forgive or forget or let go or anything with any of the emotions that I have.  I hate my father so much it makes my stomach hurt to just think about him.  How do I get through the pain of my past without having a nervous break down or killing myself over the stress it is causing me.  I don't know how to deal with any of this.  I'm so lost, scared, and so darn angry.  If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to voice them and help me out because I really need some help dealing with this.

Hi Nikki

My name is Gina (reginanteens)

I definitely relate to your suffering.

 

#1 Get into Incest support immediately, especially since you are so young and it takes time to  overcome the hurt.  24 is a very adult age, but you will become stronger within the years, each yr we go through, each decade is a miraculous change of our mindset.

 

#2  Continue staying away from the family, after a yr you will be glad for it.  I did and life is better for me. I am my own gal nowadays. 

 

#3 Forgiveness will be in your heart one day, and at that time period you will release pain!...Many people were raised horrifically and Im sure your parents were too.....these are the sickening truths of our world....they suffered surely as well......and became INCAPABLE of true love for their own child.

 

#Pray , pray , pray for ability to cope, search for support and forgive one day.

 

Lots of Love to you Nikki

Thank you for your post......Sincerely Gina 

 

 

 
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September 22, 2006, 1:25 pm CDT

I wish i could have gastric surgery

HI, I am Gina (reginanteens)

 

It seems i may never get it though

Recently i became ineligible for California Med-I-cal

I do work but to cover my kids and I through work insurance it would be 450 bucks a month

One coworker pays 500 amonth for her husband herself and three daughters

Is this amount outrageous or what? Every month?

 

I would love to have this surgery 

Gina

 

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