Messages By: bjk100

Dear Dr. Phil, 

I find myself very depressed by this terrible tragity. I have suffered from depression for years and am on medication for it but latley it dosent seem to be enough. I sleep most of the day and feel guilty that i am unable to do much due to my financial situation. It is like watching a train wreck, you cant turn your eyes away but you dont want to watch bacause you know how it is effecting you. I feel especially hlepless when i see small infants in this situation. What would you advise me and others like me, i am sure I am not the only one..(if i am..help!) to do. 

Yours Truly, 

Bonnie, 

Michigan 

I cant see why you let him back in when you threw him out the last time! I have been there sooooo many times. I finally found out that  he dosent need a wife,,he needs a momma, and you are not helping him any. I understand you LOVE him but  you are mothering him and it will get old fast. I was married to one..a underachiever who thought he was great..and have been divorced for over 20 years now. it was hard at first..we had 2 kids by then,,but i own my own home, have a car and a job and raised 4 boys alone. I am a strong woman and dont have a man living in MY house now, except my 15 year old son. Kick his sorry..*** to the curb and get a real life. He will find someone else to change his diapers and bottle feed him..better yet, send him home to momma! she made him this way...throw his sorry butt out and change the locks and NEVER let him back in again! He will NEVER change and NO SELF RESPECTING WOMAN WOULD TAKE THIS ABUSE! Remember if you have nothing else in this world..you have your DIGNITY! THIS IS A WORD THAT HAS BEEN LOST..RECLAIM YOURS...THROW THE LAZY A** OUT!!!!!

There is no way I would sign anything. If a guy is asking you to sing such a thing it is because he has something in the works. He is getting things in line so he can leave you and take it all and leave you high and dry. No husband that is in a stable relationship would think of asking his wife to do such a thing. Dont sign a thing, girl. Take this as a warning. Get a lawyer..you will need one soon!

Bonnie K.

Niles, mi. 

I am beginning to get more and more concerned about letting my son attend college away from home. Just yesterday someone walked into a school in the town where my son is to attend technical college and shot 14 people. I dont want my son, who comes from a small town, to have to be in fear of his life durring this special time in his life. He won a $5,000 scolarship to Ohio Techinal College and is thrilled to death. He is a senior this year and has such a promising life ahead of him. I biggest dread is that phone call in the middle of the night telling me he has died due to some random stupid act of voilence.

I watch you every day and really get a lot of insight from your shows.

Bonnie K****, Niles Michigan

I have been in the same situation. I felt if i didnt go through with what my husband wanted i would loose him. It started when a freind came over one day and i was coerced into having sex with both men. My self asteem died that day. We began going to a nudist colony that did bother me at first but when i found out the rules were strict i felt this was safer than the alternative. This is where we met this man who i mentioned ealrlier.

After a short time of " swinging" i decided i couldnt live this way any more. I was brought up in a very religious home and he could never seem to get enough sex. WE got divorced and it wasnt untill years later that i came to the realazaton that he was a sex addict and nothing i would have done could have saved our marriage. Now our grown children know of his current meetings with other couples in hotels in the town where he lives, so do his siblings. Now they know why i left him. WE were a high profile couple in this town and i am ashamed to show my face in my own home town. My oldest son lives there and i do go visit him on occassion but leave and come strait back home when i do. The kid is only 27 and has a tereible time getting a job, he is a Jr. and people look at him funny. he has to live down his fathers short comings. He has 2 children he is raising also. I am disabled and cant help him financially.  Tell her if he is bound and determined to have sex with dozens of women to let him go.. he isnt worth it!

I know what this mother is thinking. I have a simular situation where the mom kept the kid only to use him as a meal ticket. I am afraid that is what this mother is doing. If she has all these children she will never have to work and will get world wide attention. My son has custody of my 2 grand children. His "wife"  got pregnant with another man and when he was murdered she filed for the survivors benefits. My son found out she was still married to someone else and had an annulment. When it came to the kids she didnt want them and gave them to him. She kept the baby because of the huge check he was getting from social security. I am convinced this woman is playing the system the same way. More kids, more money coming in and at first it looks like a great way to get huge amounts of money coming in for not working. There is NO way she can care for these children in a responsible mannor. If someone had these many cats or doge they would step in and remove them from the home, let alone children! Any form of quality care for these children is not even in the picture. I fear for the little ones. They are so precious and innocent if i were close i would care for them myself! I love babies and they are to small now to know what is happening. Imagine their lives in a year or 2! I think she loves all this attention and will keep in the limelight as long as she is able.  I think this attention is her "currency" and it is paying off big time. I only have ONE question for her....WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???!!!  SHE  needs help bad and so do these kids.