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Messages By: atlantaladi

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September 20, 2006, 3:57 pm CDT

You Teach People How to Treat You!

I was embarassed by the women on this show - very much promoting a view that women are irrational, vindictive and controlling in relationships.  They seem immature and insecure. The message is how DARE you not commit to ME - how dare you not chose ME!?  You're going to Pay! Men cheat on women and women also cheat on men.  Women have REALLY closed the gap on cheating lately, so we really need to get off the high horse on this one.

 

You can only control how YOU treat people and how you conduct YOURSELF and today these "ladies" made a pretty poor showing. If you have no self respect - how much respect will you get elsewhere?  Gee... WHAT IF that energy was put to finding better candidates and recognizing where they went wrong and have a better relationship next time? These guys must be pretty important to them STILL to give them this kind of priority and attention.

 

On the web issue - the web owner IS a PUBLISHER and there's accountability for libel like in ANY print publication.  There is good reason ALL RESPONSIBLE publications or broadcasts do NOT allow use of last names or even real names in interviews, news stories, etc. where the other person hasn't consented to that disclosure or participation.  It's irresponsible and subject to liability to do so.

 

If this were a man's site called justdoherguys.com - about women who were "users", there would be a whole different position taken on exactly the same subject!

 

 
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September 20, 2006, 5:16 pm CDT

A Gentle Reality Check

Quote From: amberluvsyou22

Im In a Interracial relationship and its wonderful.   I have a beautiful daughter who is just getting more and more beautiful each and every day.  My husband is from Kenya (which is in Africa).  He is the most wonderful husband anyone could ever ask for a wonderful dad as well.  The thing is when he talks to black americans they say he "acts  white".  How can someone act white???  I mean if speaking proper english and having manners is "acting white" then what is "acting black?"     Like he isnt black enough or something its not cool to make people feel like that.   He also doesnt like it when black americans say there african american because they really are not african at all he is.  They are americans.   I think when everyone in this country starts realizing that we are all americans not anything hypenated then it will be alittle better place to live.

 

Your husband is from Kenya - where there is only black people and there has been no Civil Rights Movement - no Apartheid. To him Africa is a continent. Everywhere else on the globe where there is black people - ALL of African decent, they were taken there violently - for hundreds of years. Africans were taken to South American as slaves, to the Carribean as slaves to America as slaves. In every case after slavery - a subsociety and treated as such.

 

There are African Americans, Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, Haitians, etc. ALL of African decent but VERY different language, cultures and "blended" with various other races in each place over hundreds of years. Black in the US doesn't mean African - it means African American - black people in America.

 

Your husband has no insight into how African Americans should view themselves because he doesn't know African American (Black) culture. Your comment....

 "I mean if speaking proper english and having manners is "acting white" then what is "acting black?" ...

Sounds racist.  YOU associate bad english and bad manners with black people.  The "black people" who said your husband doesn't act black are right - how can he and how would he when he is NOT from our Black culture? He's Kenyan! He should get over saying black people should just say they are American - it's offensive and dismissive, though I am sure neither of you intends that or understands that it is.

 

Also your comment..."I think when everyone in this country starts realizing that we are all americans not anything hypenated then it will be alittle better place to live."

 

- From a "Black " person's perspective is also a bit dismissive.  Why are you directing this at Black people?  If all "Americans" were TREATED the same - if African Americans WERE treated the same as Caucasians - there would be no NEED for the hyphens.

 

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