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Messages By: elliecantellu

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September 20, 2006, 5:27 pm CDT

Revenge is bitter sweet

Tasha still has some deep-rooted animosity for the guy who cheated on her when she was 18 which is why she created this website so that women like her could bash on men.  They say that men are dogs; maybe they are because they always seem to be in heat and we know most men want one thing and one thing only.  You ladies know what that is and those that don’t are stupid.  Some men are in it for the thrill of the hunt.  Once the hunt begins and the girl gives in, the hunt is over.  Unless of course they are tired of hunting and ready to settle down which may be a while and not always the case. Yet don’t forget women, some women just want men to take care of them and support them by having the men give them money, buy them jewelry, cars and clothing.  Some will even get pregnant for just this reason or to try and hold onto a man but that more than likely doesn’t work and is not a very smart idea.

 

I agree with Todd that Tasha could have taken down the post and I believe that she should have since she does have control of what postings go on her site and he asked her to but she refused. Todd appears to be a nice guy but I don’t know him so he may or may not be. It’s true that his reputation can get ruined by a bunch of lies posted by some girl who apparently gave it up to him and wasn’t happy when it was over.  She apparently did not feel good about herself and that is why she had to tell lies about someone else.  Could it be that she was really talking about herself when she posted these lies? 

 

Yes being cheated on can be a devastating blow to your ego.  Been there.  And doing the cheating is not a good thing either. Done that.

 

I hope that Todd wins the case.  Tasha needs to get over herself.  Could it be that she was playing the tease because she looked like she was always laughing, smiling and giving him the eye, while Todd looked like he was serious and hurt by the pain that this posting has caused him.  As for what Dr. Phil said about someone who post anonymous is a coward, I agree because I’ve done that when I don’t want to be found out.  So you ladies that continue to bash a guy who cheated on you get over it.  And you guys that like to cheat beware of Karma for it will come back to bite you in the ass when you least expect it and vice versa.

 

Revenge is bitter sweet and will get you no where even though you may feel that you are getting something out of it but the only thing you will get out of it is frustration, anger, stress and sickness.

 

 
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confused
September 25, 2006, 8:45 pm CDT

Jessica the liar and Todd the fool

I knew Jessica was lying from the beginning about having an affair but what shocked me was that she had more than one.  One may be forgivable, but two, I’ll kick you to the curb.  It looked to me like she really didn’t want to save her marriage when she first arrived on the show because why would you go to court to get a restraining order when you knew you had to be together in the Dr. Phil house.  I would have put her in the hotel room and put him in the house.  

 

As for the kids, I am not surprised what they are going through.  It happens in this country everyday.  Kids get thrust in the middle and are abused in many different ways by their parents and society. And if you think the kids are suffering now, wait till the divorce, the custody battle and the child support arguments that will ensue if they divorce.  I noticed a lot of people posting that the children should be out of that house, why?  Do you think child welfare should extract them from the house?  If that were the case then who knows how many kids would be taken from their homes because their parents fight. They are part of the family and therefore should also be part of the solution and see their parents at least making an effort to rectify the situation of their marriage.  Yes it’s not good exposure for them but they would be involved no matter what.

 

Todd pushes the envelope when he constantly nags her about the affair and she doesn’t admit it because she’s afraid of the unknown and wants to be looked at as miss goody too shoes.  But trust me, what goes around comes back around worse than you dished it out and eventually she will be the one on the other side.  I don’t understand how he could let another man he supposedly never met come into his house and sleep on his sofa.  Sounds crazy to me.

 

As for the verbal assaults, that is degrading and only makes one feel less of a person.  It starts to get old and you start falling out of love and building hate for that individual.  Notice how when Todd wants to hold Jessica she hesitates and really doesn’t want to be near him.

 

Jessica has deep issues.  Why does she constantly cheat? Is it because she saw her father cheat on her mother or vice-versa?  Is this why she is on her third affair and who knows how many more?  Did she get affection from her father or not?  Is this why she seeks it out from men? Who knows, I am sure Dr. Phil will answer all these questions during the course of the show. 

 

 

 

 
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giddy
September 25, 2006, 8:49 pm CDT

No it's three, maybe more

Quote From: joyliving

 

I found it fascinating that Dr. Phil was so sure Jessica had an affair, and when she admitted to one affair, was so certain she had had more than one affair - which she did confess to.  (Two affairs).  How did he know ? !   Amazing.

She admitted to two but remember Dr. Phil said that Jessica and Todd's relationship started as an affair too.
 
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happy
September 25, 2006, 8:52 pm CDT

I don't think she loves him anymore

Quote From: salinaqu

i think the only reason Jessica went to the Dr. Phil house was for a vacation !!!  she has no plans on changing . the only time she admits that shes wrong is after Dr. Phil has caught her in a lie.  and i would bet my life shes really had more than two affairs.  Jessica's only problem is Jessica only cares about Jessica! 

I agree.  It doesn't look to me like she really wants to make her marriage work.  Dr. Phil should have put her in the hotel instead of Todd after she filed that restraining order.  She may not have a choice though if Todd kicks her to the curb.
 
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giddy
September 25, 2006, 9:04 pm CDT

Not a replay

Quote From: hpmx590

Doctor House Part Phil The Two. What! Not again? What is going on here? I have seen this last week only.  See you tomorrow Afternoon. Sincerley Your. Russell
For a minute there I also though it was a replay but you have to keep watching.  I think they show too much of the previous show and it waste valuable minutes of new interesting facts.  They should only play like the last two minutes of the previous show instead of like 5 minutes or more but I love Dr. Phil and Robbin.
 
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ecstatic
September 25, 2006, 9:23 pm CDT

Kudos to you

Quote From: a65zip

My husband has been disabled and bedridden pretty much for about 3 years now.  He spent most of it depressed and eating and gained a LOT of weight and was already a big guy (over 500 lbs.)  June 27th of this year he started a diet and excersize program he made up for himself.  As he couldn't leave the house, could barely walk really, he couldn't do normal things to work out.  He started with lifting weights (we're on a very tight income but I found some cheap hand weights to get him started) to at least work his upper body until he could get breathing better.  Then he started watching a guy on T.V. and getting up a minute at a time doing what he could until he built up some stamina.  He did things like hold his legs up one at a time as long as he could, until it burned. Each week he made himself do a couple more of each excersize he made up.  Slowly it got easier for him to move and get up and down.  That was almost 3 months ago and he has lost about 150 lbs. since then.  He's down to about 560 now and can get in a vehicle and drive again.  He can go with our daughter to watch her ride horses and take her to and from school for the first time.  He can walk across the room without me worrying about him falling down or having a heart attack or stroke from the exertion.  It was so scary for all of us.  If he hadn't found a way to lose the weight he was going to die.  The doctors told him that. 

Now he sees a future again where he can go back to work by next spring and have an active lifestyle like he had when he wasn't so big.  He knows he'll be around to see his daughter grow up. 

So I believe it takes intense will power and a lot of determination but it's possible to lose weight without an actual program and without leaving the house.  He's living proof and we've been taking pictures every couple weeks since he started.  The first roll shows an amazing difference and gave him encouragement to keep going and finish what he's doing.  I'm prouder of him than anyone will know. 

Boy I congratulate you.  How do you find the motivation.  I need to lose some weight, not much but just enough to make me feel a bit better about myself yet I can't get motivated.  I admire you for what you've done so far and I am sure that you will keep it up and you will feel great and look great too.  Good luck and keep it up.
 
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happy
September 28, 2006, 7:16 pm CDT

It's your choice to wait or not to wait.

Why do you really want to get married?  If you have issues in your relationship now, they will not go away but only get bigger once married.  It is best to solve those issues, whatever they are before you get married otherwise you will just end up getting divorced and divorce isn’t pretty. Whatever problems you are going through now, marriage is not going to make it better.  It really takes a committed person to make a decision to stay together, whether married or not. 

 

I chose to wait even though it wasn’t easy.  In the summer of 1979 at age 20, my apt was burglarized and I met a police officer, 32, while making a citizens arrest of the suspect.  We became friends and talked a lot about our relationships. He was married with children and having problems in his marriage. 

 

In the winter of 1979 he told me he left his wife and was filing for divorce. I knew he was having problems but I never thought he would leave his family.  I tried to tell him he was making a big mistake and told him to go back but who was I to give advice after ending my own abusive relationship back in July and he knew it because he’d seen my bruises and black eyes. I didn’t know what to tell him because he wanted more than a friendship and I had been dating someone else. I didn’t want to get involved with him because he was married with children but we eventually did start dating.  

 

In spring of 1982 his divorce became final. He didn’t want to get remarried right away and I understood why and I wanted to get married but didn’t want another abusive relationship.  After his divorce we got engaged and started living together on and off.  We each had our own place. In 1985 we officially moved in together and married in January 1987. We had problems and split up a few times before we moved in together but we always found our way back. It seemed that every time we split up, he committed a bit more.  Yes it took a while before he fully committed and it’s been 27 years since we first met and almost 20 years of marriage.   His age was never a problem, he is now 59 and I am 47. 

 

Waiting is a personal decision. So if you are tired of waiting get out.  If you are not sure you want to wait any longer and are living together than give yourself a few months or so, let him know what you are going to do and in the mean time start planning where you are going to live and what you are going to do with your life.  When that time period is over move out or have him leave.  It won’t be easy because you will be ending a relationship but if he really wants you and doesn’t want to lose you he will do what he must.  If he doesn’t really care then you need to move on and find someone who does.

 

Most women want to get married for the financial aspects and benefits that go with being married.  As for children we have them before marriage and after marriage and sometime women have children because they think the guy will do the right thing but to some guys having kids will not force them into a relationship, they will only run. So make sure your reasons for getting married and be true to yourself.

 

 
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September 28, 2006, 7:43 pm CDT

I agree with you

Quote From: naturesgir

I think this debate is so fascinating...  Perhaps the two camps ("piece of paper" vs. "get the ring") actually have different GOALS in mind?  For the latter, the relationship seems to be a means to an end, whether that be financial security, social "success," or children...  For the former (including me), the relationship is an end in itself; I don't want children, I earn my own paycheck, I consider myself "whole" without a ring or a husband -- I'm in the relationship for the love, fun, companionship, and -- yes -- COMMITMENT with the man I love.  How can this "commitment" be so great with a 57% divorce rate (80% for second marriages)???  Wedding, ring, certificates -- all symbols which may well be meaningless.  For those who want marriage for "security" (financial or social) or to raise a family, that almost sounds like a business arrangement; wouldn't an arranged marriage work just as well?  In my view, those who truly love the other person could and would never say NEXT because an ultimatum isn't met (one would never be given in the first place), but it's entirely appropriate in the business world.   Maybe just be honest about this??? 
My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years.  I decided to wait because I was in an abusive relationship and he decided to wait because he had gone through a divorce.  We married because we loved each other and not because of any financial or security issues as you say. Yes I wanted to get married and he knew that. During our early years we had our issues and separated a few times but we always found our way back to each other.  Eventually we committed to get married and to this day we still love each other very much.  Commitment is very important.  A lot of people get married because of what they think marriage will be in their eyes but reality hits hard.  Just because you have a few arguments, money problems or other minor issues its no grounds for divorce.  Yes if you are in an abusive relationship I suggest you get out like I did.  If you partner cheated then that might be a bit more difficult but I believe, my own personal choice, is that a first time should sometimes be forgiven, twice, kick them to the curb
 
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naughty
September 28, 2006, 7:55 pm CDT

Sounds suspect to me

Quote From: lindleyc

I have a feeling that this man who contacted me through match.com is a scammer. From what I'm hearing on Dr. Phil's scam show, what this person is saying to me via instant messaging, is what the scammers have said to the women on his show. He claims to live in Florida but 'has an orphanage' in Africa. He claims to have an x wife and daughter who live in England. He told me he came from England 8 years ago. He said he works with Gold and Jewelery and what caught my eye at first was he misspelled the word Jewelery. I couldn't help but think,,if this is your true job, you'd know how to spell the word. He sent me a link to an orphange in Africa. There were addresses of the people who are part of his orphanage organization. There are pictures of children and of course there is a place to donate money to the orphanage.  He seems reluctant to tell me anything about himself. His typing skills are poor. He professes that he wants to love me, take care of me, etc. I can see how he is latching on to things that I'm saying and it's feeding into the words he uses on me. He said he only can communicate via yahoo. I hadn't thought about how yahoo had my entire name as my yahoo screen name. When he told me what my last name was I was shocked. I have changed that email name on yahoo. I spoke with him today, after not speaking for almost a week. He didn't seem to remember me which I thought was strange since he went on and on about how he wants to get to know me, wants to be part of my life. If he lives in Florida, I live 22 hours from Florida, how can 'we' form a real relationship? It's a good thing I'm so skeptical. To me, the red flags started flying the first time he sent me an email via match.com. He told me he took his profile off of match because he decided it wasn't a good site to find women. And yes, his profile is gone. I don't know if he remembers my last name, I hope to heck he doesn't. I wish I  knew how to 'turn him in' should I discover he is a scammer. I will not 'fall in love' with him. I can guarantee that. I am half tempted to try to bait him in his answers to questions. I have saved the ims and in re-reading todays im, his speech is not as flawed as it was a week ago. He asked me if I've met someone else. He seems to be very possessive. For someone who is supposedly from England, he doesn't seem to be "English" - if that makes any sense. What's the old saying,,,,if it doesn't feel right, it isn't right? and if it's too good to be true, then it isn't true?  My gut tells me he's not who he says he is.

 

Yeah, be careful.  Doesn't sound good.  Do you know what part of Florida he says he's from?  And if he says he works with gold and jewelry, you should ask him to send YOU a small non expensive piece of jewelry to see what he says.  But don't give him now personal info, give him some fake address. 
 
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surprised
September 28, 2006, 8:35 pm CDT

Always stay alert and never provide personal info

Scams are many and you need to be very careful.  Never click on links in emails that you didn’t request because it could be a virus.  Never believe in any of the emails received saying that you won the lottery, or that you could win a prize if you click on a link.  Never answer emails from companies requesting personal information or passwords, companies never request this sort of information.  Never ever give out your passwords, social security numbers or credit card numbers or codes online or over the phone.  If someone calls you and says they need your personal info like social security number or credit card number or other personal information, don’t give it to them.  Get their number and tell them you would call them back.

 

Example:  I never give my personal info out no matter what because I am very suspicious of everything but last week I got a call from one of my credit card companies saying that someone tried to run a credit through my card four times for $1 but it didn’t go through because they didn’t have the correct expiration date.  This was very suspicious to me and I was already aware of a similar scam.  So I took the info and their telephone number and told them I would call them back.  All the legitimate agencies tell you to get this information.  However, don’t call the number they gave you, call the company they were referring to regarding your information.  For instance, I didn’t call the number they gave me but I call the number on the back of my credit card.  I told them that I was called regarding frivolous charges on my card and they verified it.  Then I asked them to close the account and reissue another card with a different number because I did not authorize the transactions they were referring to. I started to wonder how they got my card number.  I was surprised the credit card company called me for $1 charges and thought it was a scam but its better to be safe than sorry.  I have preferences set that they send me an email every time I make a charge which is why I was surprised when I got a call.  So just be very careful with the information you give out and to whom.

 

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