Messages By: elliecantellu

Tasha still has some deep-rooted animosity for the guy who cheated on her when she was 18 which is why she created this website so that women like her could bash on men.  They say that men are dogs; maybe they are because they always seem to be in heat and we know most men want one thing and one thing only.  You ladies know what that is and those that don’t are stupid.  Some men are in it for the thrill of the hunt.  Once the hunt begins and the girl gives in, the hunt is over.  Unless of course they are tired of hunting and ready to settle down which may be a while and not always the case. Yet don’t forget women, some women just want men to take care of them and support them by having the men give them money, buy them jewelry, cars and clothing.  Some will even get pregnant for just this reason or to try and hold onto a man but that more than likely doesn’t work and is not a very smart idea.

I agree with Todd that Tasha could have taken down the post and I believe that she should have since she does have control of what postings go on her site and he asked her to but she refused. Todd appears to be a nice guy but I don’t know him so he may or may not be. It’s true that his reputation can get ruined by a bunch of lies posted by some girl who apparently gave it up to him and wasn’t happy when it was over.  She apparently did not feel good about herself and that is why she had to tell lies about someone else.  Could it be that she was really talking about herself when she posted these lies? 

Yes being cheated on can be a devastating blow to your ego.  Been there.  And doing the cheating is not a good thing either. Done that.

I hope that Todd wins the case.  Tasha needs to get over herself.  Could it be that she was playing the tease because she looked like she was always laughing, smiling and giving him the eye, while Todd looked like he was serious and hurt by the pain that this posting has caused him.  As for what Dr. Phil said about someone who post anonymous is a coward, I agree because I’ve done that when I don’t want to be found out.  So you ladies that continue to bash a guy who cheated on you get over it.  And you guys that like to cheat beware of Karma for it will come back to bite you in the ass when you least expect it and vice versa.

Revenge is bitter sweet and will get you no where even though you may feel that you are getting something out of it but the only thing you will get out of it is frustration, anger, stress and sickness.

I knew Jessica was lying from the beginning about having an affair but what shocked me was that she had more than one.  One may be forgivable, but two, I’ll kick you to the curb.  It looked to me like she really didn’t want to save her marriage when she first arrived on the show because why would you go to court to get a restraining order when you knew you had to be together in the Dr. Phil house.  I would have put her in the hotel room and put him in the house.  

As for the kids, I am not surprised what they are going through.  It happens in this country everyday.  Kids get thrust in the middle and are abused in many different ways by their parents and society. And if you think the kids are suffering now, wait till the divorce, the custody battle and the child support arguments that will ensue if they divorce.  I noticed a lot of people posting that the children should be out of that house, why?  Do you think child welfare should extract them from the house?  If that were the case then who knows how many kids would be taken from their homes because their parents fight. They are part of the family and therefore should also be part of the solution and see their parents at least making an effort to rectify the situation of their marriage.  Yes it’s not good exposure for them but they would be involved no matter what.

Todd pushes the envelope when he constantly nags her about the affair and she doesn’t admit it because she’s afraid of the unknown and wants to be looked at as miss goody too shoes.  But trust me, what goes around comes back around worse than you dished it out and eventually she will be the one on the other side.  I don’t understand how he could let another man he supposedly never met come into his house and sleep on his sofa.  Sounds crazy to me.

As for the verbal assaults, that is degrading and only makes one feel less of a person.  It starts to get old and you start falling out of love and building hate for that individual.  Notice how when Todd wants to hold Jessica she hesitates and really doesn’t want to be near him.

Jessica has deep issues.  Why does she constantly cheat? Is it because she saw her father cheat on her mother or vice-versa?  Is this why she is on her third affair and who knows how many more?  Did she get affection from her father or not?  Is this why she seeks it out from men? Who knows, I am sure Dr. Phil will answer all these questions during the course of the show. 

Why do you really want to get married?  If you have issues in your relationship now, they will not go away but only get bigger once married.  It is best to solve those issues, whatever they are before you get married otherwise you will just end up getting divorced and divorce isn’t pretty. Whatever problems you are going through now, marriage is not going to make it better.  It really takes a committed person to make a decision to stay together, whether married or not. 

I chose to wait even though it wasn’t easy.  In the summer of 1979 at age 20, my apt was burglarized and I met a police officer, 32, while making a citizens arrest of the suspect.  We became friends and talked a lot about our relationships. He was married with children and having problems in his marriage. 

In the winter of 1979 he told me he left his wife and was filing for divorce. I knew he was having problems but I never thought he would leave his family.  I tried to tell him he was making a big mistake and told him to go back but who was I to give advice after ending my own abusive relationship back in July and he knew it because he’d seen my bruises and black eyes. I didn’t know what to tell him because he wanted more than a friendship and I had been dating someone else. I didn’t want to get involved with him because he was married with children but we eventually did start dating.  

In spring of 1982 his divorce became final. He didn’t want to get remarried right away and I understood why and I wanted to get married but didn’t want another abusive relationship.  After his divorce we got engaged and started living together on and off.  We each had our own place. In 1985 we officially moved in together and married in January 1987. We had problems and split up a few times before we moved in together but we always found our way back. It seemed that every time we split up, he committed a bit more.  Yes it took a while before he fully committed and it’s been 27 years since we first met and almost 20 years of marriage.   His age was never a problem, he is now 59 and I am 47. 

Waiting is a personal decision. So if you are tired of waiting get out.  If you are not sure you want to wait any longer and are living together than give yourself a few months or so, let him know what you are going to do and in the mean time start planning where you are going to live and what you are going to do with your life.  When that time period is over move out or have him leave.  It won’t be easy because you will be ending a relationship but if he really wants you and doesn’t want to lose you he will do what he must.  If he doesn’t really care then you need to move on and find someone who does.

Most women want to get married for the financial aspects and benefits that go with being married.  As for children we have them before marriage and after marriage and sometime women have children because they think the guy will do the right thing but to some guys having kids will not force them into a relationship, they will only run. So make sure your reasons for getting married and be true to yourself.

Scams are many and you need to be very careful.  Never click on links in emails that you didn’t request because it could be a virus.  Never believe in any of the emails received saying that you won the lottery, or that you could win a prize if you click on a link.  Never answer emails from companies requesting personal information or passwords, companies never request this sort of information.  Never ever give out your passwords, social security numbers or credit card numbers or codes online or over the phone.  If someone calls you and says they need your personal info like social security number or credit card number or other personal information, don’t give it to them.  Get their number and tell them you would call them back.

Example:  I never give my personal info out no matter what because I am very suspicious of everything but last week I got a call from one of my credit card companies saying that someone tried to run a credit through my card four times for $1 but it didn’t go through because they didn’t have the correct expiration date.  This was very suspicious to me and I was already aware of a similar scam.  So I took the info and their telephone number and told them I would call them back.  All the legitimate agencies tell you to get this information.  However, don’t call the number they gave you, call the company they were referring to regarding your information.  For instance, I didn’t call the number they gave me but I call the number on the back of my credit card.  I told them that I was called regarding frivolous charges on my card and they verified it.  Then I asked them to close the account and reissue another card with a different number because I did not authorize the transactions they were referring to. I started to wonder how they got my card number.  I was surprised the credit card company called me for $1 charges and thought it was a scam but its better to be safe than sorry.  I have preferences set that they send me an email every time I make a charge which is why I was surprised when I got a call.  So just be very careful with the information you give out and to whom.