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Messages By: missingjared

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frustrated
September 21, 2006, 3:47 pm CDT

TAKE HER OUT OF DAY CARE

THIS CHILD FEELS ABANDONED.  I THINK DR. PHIL TOTALLY MISSED THE MARK.  I ALSO KNOW THAT I AM IN THE MINORITY OF WOMEN THAT ACTUALLY CHOOSE TO STAY HOME AND RAISE MY CHILD.  TAKE THE POOR BABY OUT OF DAY CARE AND BE HER MOTHER!  NO WONDER ISABELLA DOES NOT WANT HER MOTHER OUT OF HER SIGHT WHEN SHE IS WITH HER.  IS SHE GOING TO THROW THE NEW BABY IN DAY TOO!  ISABELLA IS SO MISERABLE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GET HER PARENTS ATTENTION IS TO THROW TANTRUMS.  STOP FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER AND BEING SO SELFISH, GROW AND BE PARENTS.
 
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sad
September 21, 2006, 4:19 pm CDT

DEATH OF OUR SON

TEN MONTHS AGO WE LOST OUR SON DUE TO A SEVERE AND RARE KIDNEY DISEASE.  HE WAS ONLY 51/2 MONTHS OLD  EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE TO GET THROUGH.  I FIND MYSELF THINKING ABOUT HIM ALMOST CONSTANTLY.  WE MISS HIM VERY MUCH.  I TAKE HOPE AND COMFORT  IN THE FACT THAT HE IS IN HEAVEN AND NOT SUFFERING ANYMORE.  I KNOW I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN SOMEDAY.  I THANK THE LORD EACH DAY FOR MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER.  I FIND IT HELPS THAT I CAN SHARE OUR STORY TO OTHERS THAT ARE GOING THROUGH SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES.

 
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blank
September 21, 2006, 4:31 pm CDT

Coping with the Death of a Child

Quote From: tami3428

  I LOST MY DAUGHTER FIVE YEARS AGO THIS FEB 8, 2007 SHE WAS 10 YEARS WHEN KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT DUE TO ROAD RAGE I DEAL WITH THE LOSS OF MY CHILD EVERY DAY.  I COPE WITH THE LOSS BY BELIEVING IN GOD AND ENJOY EVERY DAY WITH MY SON THAT IS NOW 6 YEARS OLD I LOOK AT THE FACT THAT MY SON WILL NEVER HAVE HIS BIG SISTER TO GUIDE HIM.  THANKS TO THE MAN THAT CAUSED THE ROAD RAGE THAT IS IN PRISON AND WILL BE OUT IN 4 YEARS.  I FEEL FOR MY SISTER EVERY DAY WITH THIS LOSS ALSO BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WAS IN THE CAR WRECK WITH MY SISTER.  SHE HAS A HARD TIME WITH IT, I ASK MYSELF ALL THE TIME WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY CHILD BUT I WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE TO LOSE A CHILD EITHER ITS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO A MOTHER.

YOU ARE RIGHT... THE DEATH OF A CHILD IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO A MOTHER.  SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.  I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEDAYS MY SON WAS HERE AND NOW SO QUICKLY HE IS GONE.  I GUESS I SUFFER FROM THE "WHAT WOULD HAVE BEENS"  WHAT WOULD HE LOOK LIKE NOW?  YOU KNOW THAT KIND OF THING.  THE FIRST YEAR MILESTONE DAYS HAVE BEEN TOUGH.  I WILL REMEMBER YOU ON FEB 8TH. 
 
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angry
September 26, 2006, 11:27 am CDT

NOT A CHARMED LIFE

Quote From: sailor_girl420

I hate it when people like you think that a mother not staying home with a child is *so* terrible. My mom HAD to work when I was a baby and a kid because they COULDN'T live off of my dad's salary alone. I went to good baby-sitters and daycares, and was FINE. I am FINE. I didn't have terrible temper tantrums because my parents raised me properly, NOT because my mom stayed home. Even kids who has a parent stay home with them can be brats. It's all in how they're raised, NOT on if a parent stays home. So stop being so judgemental and thinking there is only ONE way for people to live. You don't know if Isabelle's family NEEDS the money or not. Lot's of people NEED both parents working to survive. No everyone has a charmed life like you.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A CHARMED LIFE TO STAY AT HOME, YOU HAVE TO SACRAFICE; SOMETHING MY HUSBAND AND I DO EVERYDAY.  ALL CHILDREN CAN BE BRATS REGARDLESS IF IN DAYCARE OR NOT.  I THINK ISABELLAS PROBLEMS GO WAY BEYOND BEING A BRAT.  SHE IS OBVIOUSLY DISTRESSED AND IN MY OPINION SHE IS STRESSED OUT BY BEING DUMPED IN DAY CARE EVERYDAY.  WHEN SHE IS HOME; HER PARENTS ARGUE. THEY HAVE NO COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER; LET ALONE HER, AND NOW COMES BABY NUMBER 2.  TALK ABOUT DOING THINGS BACKWARDS.  HOW ELSE CAN SHE GET THEIR ATTENTION?  SHE ACTS UP, BANGS HER HEAD ON THINGS, HAS A TRANTUM, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT.  WE CANNOT PARENT BY PROXY.  YOU HAVE TO BE THERE EVERDAY.  AS FOR YOU SAYING YOUR "FINE", YOU DO NOT SOUND FINE.  YOU SOUND DEFENSIVE.  I DO THINK NOT RAISING YOUR CHILDREN IS "SO TERRIBLE".  WHY HAVE THEM IF YOU ARE COMMITTED TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO RAISE THEM?  IT IS THE HARDEST JOB ON THE PLANET, BUT IT CAN BE DONE.  I DO NOT KNOW THE STATUS OF ISABELLE PARENTS FINANCES AND NEITHER DO YOU; BUT FROM WHAT THEY DID SHOW US; THEY NEED TO GET THERE ACT TOGETHER AND START ACTING LIKE PARENTS OTHERWISE ALL THAT SHE WILL DO IS SURVIVE AND NOT THRIVE.
 
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hopeful
September 27, 2006, 3:40 pm CDT

WELL SAID

Quote From: mustbecrazy

I stay home with my kids.  They are now all in school.  I have the flexibility in my schedule to attend school with my junior high student because he lies about his homework.  Last night, he brought home all of his work and did it without an arguement.  I am in close contact with his teachers and know what homework to expect every day.  Most employers would not allow the flexibility to be able to do this.

 

Whether you work or not, your child needs a lot of individual attention, at any age.  It does so much for the self esteem and ability to relate to others.  Communicate.  Ask about their day.  Be involved in their lives.  Direct supervision...time to read with them and help with their homework...time for Cub Scouts and volunteering in their schools...wouldn't trade it for the world.

 

We have made a lot of sacrifices to have me at home for the kids, but they are all worth it.  We drive a 1993 car and a 1988 pick up truck.  Many of our clothes come from Goodwill and Value Village.  We don't even have an "X-box" in our house...wouldn't touch one of those with a 20-foot pole! 

 

What we do have are responsible, caring, well-behaved and polite kids...not necessarily because I stay home with them, but lilfe is so much less stressful when the schedule isn't so full.  I have Bipolar Disorder, and stress doesn't mix well with that.  I did work while my oldest son was little...he stayed with Grandma and Grandpa during the day, and he learned to read at age three.  When my mom died, when he was two years old, we had to put him in daycare.  His potty training went "down the toilet" because the daycare wasn't willing to follow my instructions...he was three and a half before he was potty trained...the daycare staff just didn't have the time to attend to his individual needs.  They just didn't love him the way a parent does...they just didn't have time to spend the time a child needs.  He was just "one in a crowd".  Plus, at the end of the day, we were all so stressed and tired and crabby.  I missed out on so much...my son's daytime life.  My other two kids had the benefit of me staying at home with them, and I have the benefit of seeing them grow up into nice young men.  My boys are 17, 13, and 8.  We've had our share of behavioral issues...and I've been there to deal with them.

 

Besides, why should I pay a daycare to do my job?  When it comes down to it, the gas money, car maintenence, nice clothes, lunches, and daycare ate up most of my paycheck anyway.  Was it really worth the $2.00 an hour that I was netting to miss out on so much of my children's lives.  NO...the sacrifices are much more worth it!

SO WELL SAID... THE SACRIFICES ARE SO WORTH THE END RESULT.  TEN MONTHS AGO I HELD OUR 5 MONTH OLD SON IN MY ARMS AS HE TOOK HIS LAST BREATHS DUE TO A CRITICAL ILLNESS.  OH HOW I WISH HE WAS HERE.  A CHILDS LIFE AND WELL BEING ARE PRECIOUS!  I THINK THE LORD FOR OUR FOUR YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND HER HEALTH EVERDAY.  I WOULD CHALLENGE PARENTS TO PLEASE PUT THE NEEDS OF THEIR CHILDREN FIRST.  SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH THEM AS YOU CAN.  PROVIDING FOR THEM DOES NOT ALWAYS COME IN THE FORM A PAYCHECK.  WHAT THEY NEED IS YOU WITH THEM EVERDAY.  IT CAN BE DONE!  IT IS NOT EASY, BUT IF YOU ARE CREATIVE AND WILLING TO SACRIFICE IT IS SO WORTH IT!
 

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