Messages By: missingjared

  I LOST MY DAUGHTER FIVE YEARS AGO THIS FEB 8, 2007 SHE WAS 10 YEARS WHEN KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT DUE TO ROAD RAGE I DEAL WITH THE LOSS OF MY CHILD EVERY DAY.  I COPE WITH THE LOSS BY BELIEVING IN GOD AND ENJOY EVERY DAY WITH MY SON THAT IS NOW 6 YEARS OLD I LOOK AT THE FACT THAT MY SON WILL NEVER HAVE HIS BIG SISTER TO GUIDE HIM.  THANKS TO THE MAN THAT CAUSED THE ROAD RAGE THAT IS IN PRISON AND WILL BE OUT IN 4 YEARS.  I FEEL FOR MY SISTER EVERY DAY WITH THIS LOSS ALSO BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WAS IN THE CAR WRECK WITH MY SISTER.  SHE HAS A HARD TIME WITH IT, I ASK MYSELF ALL THE TIME WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY CHILD BUT I WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE TO LOSE A CHILD EITHER ITS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO A MOTHER.

I stay home with my kids.  They are now all in school.  I have the flexibility in my schedule to attend school with my junior high student because he lies about his homework.  Last night, he brought home all of his work and did it without an arguement.  I am in close contact with his teachers and know what homework to expect every day.  Most employers would not allow the flexibility to be able to do this.

Whether you work or not, your child needs a lot of individual attention, at any age.  It does so much for the self esteem and ability to relate to others.  Communicate.  Ask about their day.  Be involved in their lives.  Direct supervision...time to read with them and help with their homework...time for Cub Scouts and volunteering in their schools...wouldn't trade it for the world.

We have made a lot of sacrifices to have me at home for the kids, but they are all worth it.  We drive a 1993 car and a 1988 pick up truck.  Many of our clothes come from Goodwill and Value Village.  We don't even have an "X-box" in our house...wouldn't touch one of those with a 20-foot pole! 

What we do have are responsible, caring, well-behaved and polite kids...not necessarily because I stay home with them, but lilfe is so much less stressful when the schedule isn't so full.  I have Bipolar Disorder, and stress doesn't mix well with that.  I did work while my oldest son was little...he stayed with Grandma and Grandpa during the day, and he learned to read at age three.  When my mom died, when he was two years old, we had to put him in daycare.  His potty training went "down the toilet" because the daycare wasn't willing to follow my instructions...he was three and a half before he was potty trained...the daycare staff just didn't have the time to attend to his individual needs.  They just didn't love him the way a parent does...they just didn't have time to spend the time a child needs.  He was just "one in a crowd".  Plus, at the end of the day, we were all so stressed and tired and crabby.  I missed out on so much...my son's daytime life.  My other two kids had the benefit of me staying at home with them, and I have the benefit of seeing them grow up into nice young men.  My boys are 17, 13, and 8.  We've had our share of behavioral issues...and I've been there to deal with them.

Besides, why should I pay a daycare to do my job?  When it comes down to it, the gas money, car maintenence, nice clothes, lunches, and daycare ate up most of my paycheck anyway.  Was it really worth the $2.00 an hour that I was netting to miss out on so much of my children's lives.  NO...the sacrifices are much more worth it!