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Messages By: avexnim

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September 23, 2006, 9:22 am CDT

be true to you own feelings

Quote From: jeckyl51

Well, I am in love with a 38 year old woman and she says she is in love with me.  I don't doubt her commitment as she is a sincere and honest person.  She does not have one problem.  She has never been married and does not have experience in dating.  She was shy growing up and probably a little self conscious.  She is now heavy and has not dated in some time.  She appreciated the fact that her weight is not a problem with me and thinks we are a good fit.  She tells me that see just wants to be sure.  She wants me to help her lose weight then she wants to date other guys to be sure we are right for each other.  My problem is I really love her.  Am I blinded by love?  Am I an idiot?  Should I invest the time to see if she will gain this experience and decide to be with me?  Is there something wrong with her thinking?  Is there something wrong with my thinking?  I'm confused.

I think you are a great person by already being patient with her and looking at her inner beauty and not her weight.  I think you should be more clear with her, tell her that if you are not what she is looking for, or if she is using you just as a stepping stone, then that she lets you free and you can focus your energy in somebody that thinks you are also worth it.

 

Success....

 
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September 23, 2006, 9:27 am CDT

oh darling

Quote From: kissers

You are paying the price for his issues? Where do your feelings come into the picture? It does take two to end a marriage. It doesn't sound like he is willing to look at his faults. You deserve someone who wants to marry you!

That's one of the mistakes that we as women have.  WE expect the other person to change.  Did you ask him about what he thought of marriage since once day you might want to get married and knowing that he was married twice?  take ownership that you got involved with him  without asking him first, now, you cannot say but I want to be married.  Love him and respect him and if his choice is not to marry ask him why, and if it is a good reason, then respect his decision.  Also, ask yourself if what you want is him or marriage and what do you look in marriage, is it the image of portraying yourself in a different way, is it the security that marriage brings?  after asking yourself these questions then you can find out if you are also ready for another marriage.

 

Cheers

 

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