Quote From: neishielusI was really touched when i read ur post. There are few reasons why I wanted to reply 2 ur post:
1) I have 2 kids, twin boys, who were hospitalised b4 when they were 9-10 months old. they had measles & were both diagnosed with seizure disorder. i was a single parent that time and it was tough coz one of my kids was on the 2nd floor & d other was on 3rd floor. I had to go up & down all d time. Good some of my friends & my mother helped come to visit fm time to time so i can go have 3 hrs sleep or have shower or buy d things we need in hospital. i know my situation is different fm yours. i guess, i can relate to u coz i've also seen what my kids went through... 1st hand. we were in a public hospital in a 3rd world country... i had to be there to mind d kids all day since there weren't enough staff in a crowded hospital (no airconditioning, i can't even remember if they gave us free medicines at all) where nurses are not nice & can yell at u anytime they want. they had to do a test on my kids, i can't remember what it's called but i can describe it to you. they had to inject a needle in their spine to take a sample (which i don't know what's for). they told me d test was important and is very delicate. if not done properly, it can paralyzed my kids (as far as i can remember that's what d doctor said). it was heartbreaking that my little babies had 2 go thru that. what's worse was i should be there. not that i don't want to... i wanted to be there 2 know that everything's ok but i need to be d one 2 hold them while it's being done. everytime i recall this, i breakdown & cry. when i was pregnant with my little girl & was due in few wks... i could hardly sleep. i was so scared of d pain that i had 2 go thru when i give birth. every single nite i cry & cry coz i was so scared. the only thing i can associate with PAIN was when my boys had that test... i keep remembering how they cried and i keep seeing the look on their faces everytime i close my eyes... it was like a videotape bein played in my head over & over again.
2) grandparents suffer too. it crushes their heart to see their son/daughter & their grandchild/ren go thru. one time my son had a really bad fit, my mom was cryin. after the fit. my mom hugged my son and said, why does this have to happen to the 2 of u? then she turned to me and said, why do u need to go thru all these? i just put my arms around her, with tears in my eyes but smiling, and said, u should be happy that im d one goin thru this, if it's one of my sisters, maybe they couldn't handle it. i believe im d toughest (emotionally) in d family that's why im happier that it's happening to me than my sisters.
3) i always get that question too... how do u do it? and most of d time i get questions about my kids condition and try 2 tell them... they're not really interested or they don't really care. they're just asking for d sake of it! i get a lot of questions fm other people too like... why can't ur kids settle down (they're hyperactive) or why can't ur kids answer my question (they got severe expressive & receptive language delay) d fact that i already told em all that about my kids!
4) last but not the least, it's because of this...
If you would like get some things off your chest please feel free to respond. I want to help you along the way anyway that I can.
thanx coz finally i got it off my chest. yah, u did help me. i feel so much better. sometimes it's good 2 know too that you're not d only one goin thru some challenges in life. i hope u know what i mean. and it's nice that d fact that this experience is hard 4 u, it doesn't stop u fm wanting 2 help other people in the way u can. i guess sometimes, just because we're going thru rough times with the things happening 2 our kids, people forget that we can help too, that it's not like we'll always be d one needing help.
have a wonderful day. my prayers are with u & ur family.
4)
It is so much easier to speak to someone who understands what you have experienced. I too have met those individual who really don’t care; they would rather you waste your breath explaining the situation and for them to answer with oh… and they change the subject with complete disregard.
I know coping with my daughter’s condition has in one sense has made me a bitter but yet a better person for the most part when it comes to parents who don’t give a crap what happens to their children.
When I was pregnant with my both of my children I did everything in my power not to put them in harms way and create the most perfectly healthy child. For instance, I quite smoking, I did not by any means consume any alcohol or anything that would harm them. I would not even eat in a restaurant if it allowed smoking in the dinning area or take Tylenol for a headache.
So… You could say when I see a pregnant woman smoking or doing something everyone knows she should not be doing while pregnant. I now am the big mouth in the restaurant that will not hesitate to tell the pregnant woman how stupid, and self centered she is for smoking or anything to that effect. Chances are she will have a healthy baby and the next time she becomes pregnant she will smoke with it as well. It is so sad to see mothers take advantage of their healthy children but… they may not fully understand what comes along with a child that has complications. As my mother has always said “God only gives special babies to special people. Not everyone can care for a special baby” and I truly believe special babies go to those with a mentality to handle the situation.
