Messages By: cissie88

I will defend Janelle to the day I die. She IS my friend. Janelle and I taught Reading together last year in the public school system . You may not agree with what I have to say,  but that is purely your ignorance to the situation. Yes, Janelle committed a crime. But, to attack her personally and say things like she is a rapist, is wrong. That is not the case. Janelle made a mistake, but does that mean she is a bad person? I know her. I have spent time with her. She is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. To see her in this position  breaks my heart. I can tell you, she is a better person than many of you. You can sit there and judge her for her mistake, but what about you? Her mistake is a big mistake, but why is she the only one to blame? What about that 15 year old boy..who, by the way, turned 16 during this fiasco. So, this 16 year boy is totally innocent? I think not. 

Janelle IS a good person who made a mistake. It doesn't mean she is a sexual predator, a rapist, or just a sick human being. SHE MADE A MISTAKE. A mistake that gives the public the right to throw obscene and rude comments in her face. Well, may your lifetime of mistakes one day be thrown in your face or put on display for the public to defame you.

Janelle WILL rise above this. I know that the time she spends paying for this crime will make her a stronger person.

Do the parents not realize that something was lacking at home for these children? If the home life is shiny and happy and all of the child's needs are being met, there's no need to go looking for love from others. The child would recognize that this is not appropriate behavior from an adult  - espceially in a position of power/authority. If this were me in such a situation as a young teen, personally, my thought would have been, "Hey wait a minute, this isn't right. This is an adult and she/he should not be behaving this way. I better tell Mom."

The acceptance of parental responsibility regarding the problems of their children is - seemingly - nonexistent most times.

I love the show and watch it religiously. I can never - for the life of me - understand why the parents are so blind to the fact that their children's behavior is a direct result of the parenting they have received and the life which they live at home. This isn't always 100% true, granted, but I'm venturing to say 95% of the time, it's accurate.

For those of you wondering - no I do not have children. Why? Because the world is an insane place and I don't want to bring a life into this chaos just to have it snuffed out by, among other possibilities, some troubled teen having a bad day who doesn't know how to deal with their feelings because their parents were too busy with other things to properly guide them during their formative years. No, I do not have children, but I DID have a mother.

I have 27 nieces and nephews. Some are 'bad' some are 'good'...all have the home life to reflect what they have become.

Food for thought.

Queenie

You know, I am an Indigenous Native from this land, what you would call "American Indian".  It saddens me deeply to see such rage and hatred bred amongst our guests of this land.  Why?  Because this is what I was brought up with, and even today it is what my children to be will be brought up with.  As indigenous native people, we are the stewards of this land.  That is like hosting a dinner party and having all your guests at the table fight and hate on each other, I'm telling you its an awful feeling.

There is an old saying, "hurt people hurt people" and that is what I teach the children in my life circle, when there is prejudice, hate or bullying in their lives, look in that person's eyes as ask them this simple questions, "can I help you, is something wrong?" and chances are they are a hurt person alleviating their own pain by hurting others.

It is only when we realize we are merely borrowing time here, we are tools of a greater purpose and the sooner your come to a peaceful place within, the better.  I agree with Dr. Phil, you cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge, acknowledge your pain, acknowledge your pity on self, grow from the pain.  Acknowledge you are truly a masterpiece with a special gift or medicine to share with others, you are not black or white, gay or straight, fat or thin, there are no prejudices where we are going, we are all members of one race, the human race.

I totally agree.  Why spend a lot of money on clothes while you are still in the process of losing weight?

Hi Raf310,

We watched the same show, here's my take:

Christy and Stacy grew up in a dysfunctional home. By pumping out 7, 8, 9 babies Stacy never took a moment to look back.

One fine day Stacy discovers irrefutable evidence that her husband is a degenerate. Stacy could look in the mirror and say, oops, time to start over with nine kids. Or, she could get a makeover, and pretend like nothing happened. Stacy makes the right decision (she leaves), then changes her mind and makes the wrong decision (she returns).

By making a stink, Christy is effectively saying to her sister, 'leave your husband, you selfish fool, if not for the protection of your children, then at the very least to teach your children that, in life, there are boundaries, a lesson that was clearly absent from the home in which we were raised.'

Would you agree that Stacy could set a better example for her children by kicking out her husband once and for all?

Uh, didn't someone say Sanjay met her on "sugarDaddies.com"?  Now, obviously he knows what a sugar daddy is, and feels he's selling himself on providing material goodies to a bimbo, or naive little person who wants to concentrate on things and money rather than character and heart and mutual interests, so he's not getting taken here... he's (the sugar daddy) offering his money and goodies... As far as her "cougar" status, she may be superficial and shallow, and wanting a materialistic life style, but he's offering it on a plate, and in exchange, he wants a hot little babe (for sex or whatever) and is offering to pay for it... and apparently she's willing to offer it... he gets what he wants, she gets what she wants...but it's a mutually contractual arrangement, and both of them know what they're getting into... nobody has a right to call "foul" here!

Actually, at 18 most females are still late adolescents, and hardly women... she may be physically mature, but at age 17, one year prior, she was just considered a teenager... Like, child?  Personally, I think she's the one being taken advantage of, she's hardly out of high school, and maybe still in it!  Is this person able to make an informed decision on what's a psychologically sound, perhaps life changing or potentially harmful set of circumstances for herself? Uh, I don't think so!  Actually, I think the guy ought to be ashamed! Is morality dead?

So, the "sugar daddy" pays for sex in gifts and favors... isn't that a bit like legalized prostitution...?  And if he just discards her and throws her away when he gets tired of her, and the novelty is over, he can recoup much better than she... who at 18 is probably much more impressionable and easily hurt... (am I crediting these people with too much sensitivity?)  The possibility of feeling used here, on both sides, but especially in her case, is very large!

Bottom line:  If it had been my daughter at 18, she'd have been grounded for a year!  Where are her parents? 

I think Sanjay is just what someone might call "a dirty old man"!  A voyeur and a guy looking for titillation and novelty rather than sensibility and solidity... Too many games in life for me!  Hugs, Trina M.