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Messages By: im2bizzy2

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October 9, 2006, 8:32 am CDT

thank goodness they split!

Narcissistic, immature, oblivious, self-serving - why do people like this procreate? I said before that CPS needed to be in on this, weeks ago. These poor boys don't stand a chance, yet these nincompoop parents say they didn't realize how bad they were until they saw the tapes? How self-absorbed can one be? My big fear now is that Todd has no controls in how he bad-mouths Jessica to the boys, he can just blast her 24/7 (not that everything he says isn't true, about what a cold, uncaring person she is - but look at him!!) and that except for there being TWO adults going at it they're not much better off with her of the house. I believe more than ever now, and suspected from day one, that her only motivation for agreeing to participate in the program was her narcissistic need to get her face on television, a free trip to California, with no interest in turning her family's plight around. Pathetic. My heart breaks for those children.
 
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November 16, 2006, 4:30 pm CST

I think I hate it even more than fat!

 During the course of about 18 months I inexplicably lost about 65 pounds. Drs couldn't find a cause despite tests for everything. I had no appetite, severe pain in my stomach area, and the pounds just fell off. I went from a size 18 - 197 pounds - to a size 8 - 132 pounds. All my adult life I had battled weight, been very unhappy with my appearance, esp after having 3 children, nursing, etc., but had resigned to being heavy. My husband always insisted I looked good to him, even at my top weight of 203. (I'm 5'7") At 53 I don't expect my skin to be firm and supple, but it hangs down all wrinkly like an old, old lady. All my veins stick out.  In clothing I look OK. My family all thinks I look way too thin, but when the clothes come off, it is just sick. My breasts especially.

I believe with all my heart that my disgust with my appearance was majorly exacerbated by the discovery of my husband of 27 years being involved in a sexual and "love" affair with a younger woman. By the time I learned of it he was to the point of trying to decide whether to stay or go. What  I learned of that affair destroyed my self-image as a woman, and as his partner, to the extent that I felt hideous. Additionally, my hsuband, although my same age, is very youthful in his appearnace and is often mistaken for my son. My hair is all silver and he has like eight gray hairs on his lush brunette head.  I am so self-conscious in front of him now. Even after 10 months and serious hard work in therapy I still imagine that I am being compared to his lover. (My weight loss occured prior to the affair. I had been at my current weight about a year before he started up with her.)

Basically I believe that since I am healthier overall at the lower weight my work now centers around coming to terms with this new saggy wrinkly skin. Also, I admit I feel guilt for having lost the pounds without hard work, being that it was apparently related to some medical situation as yet determined and not through will-power and exercise. My BP Mon at the Dr was 92/68! Incredible. Part of my work in rebuilding my marriage is dealing with my body image.
 

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