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Messages By: jojobeaner

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October 9, 2006, 7:51 pm CDT

10/12 Divorcing the Family

Quote From: dawndweezie

I have an eleven year old son who is ADHD and also has mood swings and they also think he has OCD. I have dealt with this behavior since he was 4. In fact, He just got released from Belmont Pines Behavioral Hospital this past thursday. I also had to go down to the Juvineile Court and File charges against him. He had lit fireworks in our newly built home and burned the carpet and the window. Luckily, he burned things that can be replaced. I am very thankfull that none of my children were hurt. This is not the first time he has played with fire. He did it about 1 month ago at 5 in the morning and also used a bucket of gasoline. He repeatedly calls me stupid, retard, liar and many others. I have 5 other children to take care of and he needs constant supervision and dicipline. I don't know what else to do with him. I know what you mean completely and I could probably type all night and write a book about all  the things my son has done, as well as had children services called quite a few times.....I don't know what else to do with him. He goes to counseling and a psychiatrist and is on medication. If anyone has any advice for me, I'd be glad to hear it.....Thanks...........
My heart goes out to you and I will start to pray for you and your son.  Do you know the Lord Jesus Christ? is He a part of your life?  I do not have this situation in my life, but I have dealt with a prodigal daughter for the last 7 years and I tell you that the Lord is good, He can restore any relationship if you just ask Him to.  Dear Jesus I feel so heartbroken for this mom and Lord I know that you are the restorer of relationships and You want to restore this relationship between this mom and her son, Lord you are about relationships, You Lord long to have a close relationship with us, to talk with us daily, to know all of our struggles and to help us with everything.  LOrd I am asking that you intercede in this relationship, Lord I ask that you bind any strongholds that this son has in his life, anger, bitterness, disrespect, violent behaviors, Lord we ask that you bind these strongholds in his life.  Lord your word says that anything we bind here on earth will also be bound in heaven, Lord we come together and agree on this.  Lord please give this mom peace, Your peace Lord that passes all understanding and any of human understanding, help her stand firm in the peace that you give her, allowing her to know that You will work this out and restore this relationship.  Lord please speak to this young man's heart, Lord show him his need for you, show him how broken he is and how much he needs you, Lord please put him back on the right track, LOrd please heal his body of OCD, ADHD and mood swings, Lord cover him with the blood of Jesus.  There is power in the blood, there is power in the blood, there is wonderous working healing power in the blood of Jesus, Lord we know that you can heal this young man and bring him out of the darkness that he is in.  Lord we ask all of these things in faith in Jesus name AMen.  Please let me know of any changes.  Love Jo
 
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October 14, 2006, 11:54 am CDT

We are missing the point

I understand why the attorney would say that she is too pretty to go to jail because in jail child molesters are on the lowest of the low of the pecking order. Being too pretty is not really the issue, although he made it sound that way.  Because of course he doesn't want to admit out loud that she is a child molester.

 

Now about Debra having sex with a kid, yes that is wrong and yes she is a child molester.   The real damage that has been done has to do with the fact that God has ordained sexual relations to be between a man and a woman that are married.  We are not to have pre-marital sex.  Why? Is God a kill-joy? absolutely not!  He created us and He created sex to bond us together, sex is an intimate act or so it should be and that is why God created it to be shared with someone that we already have a committment to, ie marriage.  And since you can't marry a child lawfully in California Debra already knew she should not have sex with the boy.

 

Debra LaFave took advantage of this child, took something from him that God ordained to be a gift that he would someday give to his wife.  She has taken his innocence and treated him like a sex object.  She was not married to him and she couldn't be married to him because he is a child.  She is no different than any person who has sex with someone outside of marriage, God calls these people adulterers, fornicators and the sexually immoral.  God knows that having sex is a powerful feeling and He knows that if you have sex outside of marriage it can create feelings that you are in love with the person because that is what God designed sex to do.  When Debra had sex with this child it bonded her to him, she no longer saw him as a child, but as someone she was in love with.  All logical reasoning went out the door.  If she had the mindset that I cannot have sexual relations until I am married, then her logical reasoning would have kicked in like:  he's only a child, how will this affect his future relationships with women or his wife to be someday, I have a responsibility to lead him into responsible manhood, to show him what real love is,  to honor him as a person, to respect him, to show him how to have respectful boundaries with a person of the opposite sex.  But she didn't do any of that.  She knew what she was doingwas wrong, but she didn't listen to her conscience and now she is trying to backpeddle and come up with all kinds of ridiculous reasons why she did what she did.  And the worst part is that she has a lawyer defending her and giving her more bogus reasons to justify her actions, shame on both of them!

 

Debra LaFave broke the law and she should be punished for it.  More importanly she has scarred this young man for life, this experience will taint all of his future relationships with women and how he treats women.  She should do jail time just like any convicted child molester and she should be registered as a sex offender.  Should we feel sorry for her, yes, she is very very very lost.  Does God still love her, ABSOLUTELY YES!  Does He love her sin, ABSOLUTELY NOT!.  I pray that Debra LaFave gets the help she needs to understand the seriousness of this sin.  Is there hope for this situation, yes.  God can take any messed up life and turn it around, He can take the worst of the worst and give them real life. 

 

We have laws in this country and God tells us to respect the authority of the land if it does not contradict His word.  Debra LaFave should not be on house arrest she should be in prison!  where all the other child molesters are, she should not get special treatment.  The fact that she is on house arrest is God protecting her, nothing more and nothing less.  Debra LaFave I pray that you will listen to that still small voice in your head (God calls it your conscience) He is speaking to you. Listen to Him. 

 

Lord I am heartbroken about this situation, Lord I want to lift up the young man who is affected by all of this and ask that you heal his heart and mind about being used, he may not see it that way at this point because he himself may not even know you.  But Lord I ask that you use this situation to soften his heart and prepare his heart to come to you and accept you as his Savior.  Lord I ask that you speak to Debra and use this to soften her heart and show her that she needs you and you want to heal her and restore her life to what it should be I ask these things in Jesus name Amen

 

 

 
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October 14, 2006, 12:03 pm CDT

I agree

Quote From: jettav

Too pretty to go to jail??????????????????get over it!!!!!!! you do the crime, you molest, rape, prey upon a child, you belong behind bars!!!!!!!!!! I don't care who you are and whAt you look like, goes to show that looks  can be deceiving, this attorney needs to get real or get out of the business.

 

 
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October 15, 2006, 11:57 pm CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

Quote From: bedoss

Just as your info was meant to provide nothing but good, I have faith that you will give me the same respect. God also says that he will deal with the unbeliever, if this person doesn't have a relationship with God you are wasting your breath and actually stepping on God's toes at the same time by trying to do his job. (1 corin. 5, 11-13)  and this also affects your prayer also. God will only answer the prayer of a believer and the prayer must glorify him, so a personal relationship with God has to be established first and this takes the participation of the person themselves. Be very careful on this point, on one hand your life will get easier because the whole world wont rely on your prayer, just you and the people that ask you to pray for them ( look up healing prayer in John), I have faith that your intentions are pure but so was Job's.  The last thing that Job did before God took everything from him was pray for his sons because they might have sinned, when we do this we become judgemental  especially to the unbeliever.  (Job 1, 1-6)  With Love in my heart I say these things, to keep the focus on Jesus and his message (LOVE), If you are a true unbeliever and are still reading this, get to know Jesus, he wants to know you but you have to make the first move. 

How am I trying to do God's job? The passage you are referring to states " 1 Cor 5:11-13 But now I have written to you to not keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner--not even to eat with such a person. For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside?  Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges.  Therefore, "put away from yourselves the evil person. 

 

Yes, He will deal with the unbeliever I realize that.  What I wanted to convey to anyone that read my message was that the "world" wants to call sin something else than sin.  For example, people will call a person who drinks excessively an alcoholic and refer to their condition as a disease.  The disease that we all have is called sin and people try to rationalize their sin and give their sin other names.  The point I wanted to make is---let's call sin what it is-- sin, let's not package it any other form.  Debra LaFave sinned against that boy, most likely to have committed such a sin as that and to have the comments that she had about the sin makes me think that she is an unbeliever.  I am not judging her I am pointing out what she did and calling it what it is---sin.  If I was judging her I would be saying things like, she is a rotten so and so and should be locked away forever, but I am not saying that I am saying she sinned and wanting people to know how God views our sin.  That is why I prayed for her and her salvation.  Now if she is a believer than you know that she is in a worse condition than if she was an unbeliever and still I would pray for her.  I don't know the condition of her heart, only God does. 

 

I am not wasting my breath, in God's eyes nothing is wasted, He uses everything to bring others to Him.  I know... I used to be one of those who was against Him, as you might have been also.  And yes, God does answer prayers of those who don't know Him.  When I was not a Christian, a believer, God did answer my prayers.  The only problem was that I didn't know I was praying to Jesus nor did I acknowledge that He was the one answering my prayers.  It wasn't until I came to know Jesus that He showed me that He had indeed been the one answering my prayers. 

 

Are you saying that I have to a believer before God will answer my prayer or are you saying that the person I am praying for has to be a believer?  If you are saying this then why would we ever pray for anyone that is not a believer? 

 

Please elaborate on your point beginning with "Be very careful on this point....are pure but so was Job's?  The last thing Job did was pray for his sons because they might have sinned has nothing to do with Job being judgmental, He is simply covering his sons in prayer like any good parent does.  God didn't take everything away from Job, He allowed Satan to take it away.  There is a difference.  If God had taken everything from Job it would have been because Job was not right with God, but God allowed Satan to sift him like wheat and take everything from Job to show Satan that Job did love God, not for what God provided but just because he loved Him.  In the process of all that happened to Job, he was judged by his closest friends, even his own wife told him to curse God and die, but Job never did do that. Yes Job questioned God and wanted to know why God was doing this to him and Job learned much about God's character through this trial, but at no time was God punishing Job for  "possibly" judging his son's who might have been unbelievers.

 

I know it is not my place to judge her, I am calling attention to what she did and calling it what God calls it and that is sin, that is simply what my point is.  To an unbeliever anything you say about sin is considered judging, why you don't even have to mention sin, all you have to mention is the name of Jesus in your conversation and they think you are judgmental. 

 

Are you asking me if I am an unbeliever? or are you talking to audience in general who may read your quote?  I myself am a believer.   

 

I enjoyed reading your quote and thank you for taking the time to respond with your views.  May we sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron. 

 
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October 16, 2006, 12:14 am CDT

Clarification

Quote From: manofgoods

I fully agree of what you just said. And Looks have nothing to do with it (from the other post). They CAN be deceiving. Thank Goodness that she & this boy didn't have any children together! Women like her at a young age should be messing around with guys my age, if she doesn't want to be married anymore. And she is just about around that (I'm 24, by the way.)!

IIf you agree with what I am saying then why would you make the comment "should be messing around with guys my age, if she doesn't want to be married anymore" what do you mean by messing around?  Please clarify this? 

 
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October 16, 2006, 12:22 am CDT

Frustration

Quote From: romocop427

 the sad thing is you never know what is going to happen to a perpetrator in court because the justice system is unfair.  You have Mr. Karr that just got off of all of his charges due to some missing evidence.  Think about how his victims must feel.  And these teachers!!!  What are they trying to teach...what a disgrace!  And then you get someone like my husbands ex.  She was with him for 10 years, (married 5).  Raped and molested his cousins, (ages 13 to 16) while at family camping trips, and molested neighbor kids.  She was originally charged with 11 Felony counts of child molestation, including two of them with enhancement charges of "Using anesthetia (Sp) to subdue victims.  She was offered a plea bargain to plead guilty to 1 Felony and the DA dropped the other 10.  Now she had to go to a psychological evaluation to see if she is "fit for prison".  They are recommending her sentencing be ONLY PROBATION!!!!!  and the judge is possibly going to give her custody of her kids back!!!!  It's an OUTRAGE

I am so sorry that you have gone through this ordeal, it is very heartbreaking.  I also have dealt with the court system and I agree it is not just.  Why is there such a double-standard for women, it doesn't make any sense.  You do the crime you do the time.  I would like to offer a prayer for you, I hope that is okay.

 

Dear Jesus I ask that you make this situation right, right the wrongs in this family.  Lord you have the power to change this situation, Lord I am asking for your intercession for these families, Lord I ask that you give the judges, social workers and all involved the wisdom and understanding to deal with these crimes committed against these children in the manner that they need to be dealt with.  Lord please protect this family from any further harm, Lord please put a hedge of protection around these children that have been violated and selfishly used by another.  Lord I ask that you speak to the hearts of those involved and show them their need for you, if they do not know you.  I ask that they will seek to know you by asking for forgiveness of their sins, seeking repentance (wanting to turn from their sin) and ask you to come and live in their hearts In Jesus name Amen.

 
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October 16, 2006, 12:49 am CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

Quote From: purplepenny

This is not new and I don't think anyone is saying it is...just because it's been happening doesn't mean it's not an important social and criminal issue that needs to be continually brought to light.

And for the record from what I saw myself this didn't go on in my schools, it's possible, but I never saw anything like it. So it's also possible it never happened in my schools.

Bringing it to light might help empower kids and scare the crap out of bad teachers. Did you report this teacher? Did your friend? How many innocent kids got hurt because you or someone else didn't come forward?

Please don't be upset if she didn't report this teacher, maybe she was afraid to.  Adults can be intimidating when you are that age.  My daughter had a teacher who just didn't like her and she went out of her way to make my daughter's life miserable, I could never figure out why?  My daughter a straight A-student who loved school and was well liked by all of her teachers except this one.  Who knows?  there are some real strange teachers out there, just like there are some real strange people in all professions.  I think most schools know who the problem teachers are but they don't do anything about, they just keep shuffling them from school to school and one day something like this happens.  I think the schools know who their problem teachers are and what the problems are, they just like to sweep things under the rug and pretend like there isn't a problem.  Then something like this happens and everyone is upset!  When in reality everyone knew about it, but the school didn't do anything.  Remember when you were in school everyone had a reputation, that included the teachers and students knew what teachers were strange and who to avoid. 

 

This problem is not going to get any better, in fact it is going to get worse.  Why we have a generation that has the mindset, "if you think it's right for you then it's right".  Our kids are taught to have tolerance and acceptance of all kinds of relationships.  I have even heard about how kindergartners are now being taught that there all kinds of acceptable relationships which include homosexuality.  Is it any wonder that this new kind of relationship should not be tolerated. These kinds of ideas are slippery slopes that lead to all kinds deviant behaviors to be considered to be acceptable.  There is not one standard of truth and that is the real problem and until everyone has the same standard of what right and wrong is-- this problem will not change. 

 

 
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October 16, 2006, 1:01 am CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

Quote From: michelle67

If this were a male how out raged the public would be!  We would be talking about castrating him!!  I'm sorry her actions far out weigh her looks.  LOCK HER UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!!!

I agree too.  My question is why is a 15 year old pursuing an older woman?  We've got to tackle these issues from the other side of the coin.  Was this kid molested, most likely.  Was this child exposed to pornography-most likely.  We have a whole generation of kids that don't know what sex was designed for.  What we have is a whole generation of kids being fed a bunch of lies about their sexuality and the other sex. 

 

There is no shame anymore... Just watch any of these raunchy talk shows, like Jerry Springer where people go on TV and bare all their unhealthy garbage who seem to have no boundaries in any areas of their lives, oh how about the internet,  have you checked out myspace.com lately, there is pornography in abundance for our children to view, how about our TV shows, videos, movies. 

 

How do you cook a frog alive? Put him in cold water and turn the heat up slowly.  That is what we are doing to our children.  We have desensitized them from life, they have no shame, no guilt, don't listen to their conscience.  It's like Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible.  I'm not saying all kids are like this but you get my point, I hope.  We are all being boiled alive and don't even know it.  Turn off the internet, turn off the TV, stop watching the violent movies and see a change in our society. 

 
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October 16, 2006, 6:24 pm CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

Quote From: purplepenny

I'm not upset, I understand that many people who are abused or taken advantage of in horrid ways have a hard time coming forward.

I was simply pointing out that this kind of thing being on the news and being in the spot light might help empower some otherwise scared kids.

Sorry didn't mean to make it seem like you were upset.  I agree with you that bringing attention to this will help.  Thanks for your input. 

 
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October 17, 2006, 12:36 pm CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

Quote From: jettav

I agree, kids today don't have respect for their own bodies, let alone respect for others. There is just way too much garbage out there and a lot of parents do not monitor what their children watch, observe ont he internet and some of them don't even know their kids friends, contacts, we are living in this latch key society where kids are pawned off on others or left home alone to defend for themselves. Now, I am not putting down any 'good" programs or the working parents, ia m putting down the criteria that pparents and society has set up for the kids now days.  It is not working, kids need to be home having family time, learning to do good things in life, learning skills and all, not spending all their time in front of the tv, at a friends house playing video/computer  games, whatever!

In my house hold, my girls only watch their playhouse disney shows, morning time (if we are not doing other things), they play on educational websites, they stay in ther own yard, viewing distant for me, (they are 3 and 5) They were out playing several days ago and wondered off five doors down and I made them come home, yes, they were upset because the kids they were playing with were there, the youngest mind you, just turned 4, lives next door to me and no one out watching him, no way amd I gonna let my girls foolw that pattern. My oldest goes to school wants to go to latch key but not happening. There are are other things I could mention and yes, I have been accused (mostly by a bunch of strangers on these boards,LOL) of over protecting my kids, of not allowing them to explore, I say WHATEVER! GET OVER IT) My kids are happy, nourished fun loving and very socialable and they would much rather go out side to play, go ot he park, the library, to a family gathering then to sit and watch tv all day, they would much rather play then to sit and play a video game all day, my oldest loves school and interacting with friends and even though she wants to go to latchkey, she is excited to see her little sister and can't wait to get home to play and when daddy gets home, both my girls drop everything to spend time with him, that's the way I believe thins should be, family first, priorities straight and kids respectred and loved, when adults start steeping up to the platee and taking responsibility for kids wellbeing and teaching and guiding them ina positive way, then kids will grow up doing the samt hing and any one who crosses the line in abusing a child, deserve to pay the consequences, get the help they need or whatever, but the consequences need to be paid.

The pretty lady, she really isn't all that pretty, her attitude and actions prove that. it doesn't matter what a person looks like from the outside, it is what's in the inside that counts and that is what we are teaching my kids. Just yesterday, we had a talk with my 5 year old about looks and attitudes and even SHE is getting it. maybe that lawyer needs to take some lessons from kindergarteners. it's not looks that keep you out of jail, it is your actions..................................

I think what you are doing is good.  I think there is a balance when it comes to overprotecting our children, if we go too far we don't give them the opportunity to learn from their failures and gain the confidence they need to grow into adulthood.  But if we don't protect them from all the ugly influences out there then we are not doing our job either.  We will never be "perfect' parents, there will always be "something" we didn't do exactly right and believe me they will let you know what that "something" is when they get older.  But in the end if we have raised responsible children who can go out and make decisions that lead to the betterment (is this a word) of the world around them then we have done a good job and that sounds like what you are doing, I praise you for the priorities in your life.  I myself raised a daughter who is now 20 and on her own, she is not or has not been in any trouble, does not do drugs.  She is responsible, she works, she lives on her own, goes to college and does very well in her life.  The end result-she is responsible, makes good decisions and respects others.  Yes, I still help her out, but she doesn't expect it, she appreciates it. 

 

I too was told I was "too" overprotective.  Believe me, it pays off later.  I was the parent who didn't allow my daughter to do "all" those things other parents let their children do.  Just hang in there and keep doing what you are doing!!! 

 

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