Messages By: darganj

Quote From: getitnowdumb

 If you know your husband drives drunk you probably 'should' know where he goes, which bar or bars....
You say you pray he gets caught before he kills someone else? Then you worry you (and he) will loose everything if your husband kills someone.. I have to say WHAT..
If your husband kills someone, it will be the dead person that lost EVERYTHING...
What you need to do besides praying, which probably WILL NOT work is ...Know where your husband is 'drinking'     talk to the bar owners    talk to the police...    In my state people can be arrested in their driveway, home, etc for being drunk and having been driving
Again, do not take offence, continue to pray BUT ALSO  TAKE ACTION. You are probably the only one who really knows the real story.. As you say he's a Functioning drunk which means he can function when needed. When he's drunk and driving he does not care about 'functioning"
Please take action, you might save him along with some inocent person....And your life with him might be 'nice'    Good Luck to you.

Quote From: ceildh1

Okay, I'll get blasted. I "Don't play well with others " and there are things I just "Will not share " my husband being one of those things, that being said... If my neighbors, my doctor or child's teacher are "Swingers" why is that my business or the Police's business or really anyone's business ? Quite frankly its NOT. It is a lifestyle that has to be AGREED on by both parties BEFORE that paper is signed, if one or the other partner is against it, then you shouldn't sign that paper with them, move on and find a person that shares YOUR views on marriage (although I don't get why you would get married if you don't "DO" Monogomy). Okay, he wants a threesome, you don't, but you're scared he'll leave ? Huh, so he leaves, big deal do you really want to be with someone who bullies you into doing things you are disgusted by ? And what kind of "Man " involves his child in these type of discussions ? If he said he wanted you to help him rape someone or he would leave you, would you do it ? Or would you find the "gonads" to get out and make a life for yourself ? Please, I've heard the arguments before, she has no job skills, go to night school, millions have or are doing it, and courses can be taken online now as well, she has no money, what about spousal support, or a JOB, take something that can help you in your quest to upgrade your skills. Easy, no, nothing worthwhile ever is, but what is more important, your sense of peace and self worth, or his pathetic little ego, call his bluff, and stand on your own. Why does this piss me off so badly ? I see women in Afghanistan and Africa that are FORCED to live in these situations because of lack of opportunities and education, here in the West we are GIVEN the opportunity to stand on our own as independant women, not just an extension of our husbands, and yet when it comes down to it, we still think we NEED the husband to validate us, even if it is to the detriment of our own mental health or that of our children.