Messages By: jules1965

If you can't afford to raise 7 children then they shouldn't have had any!!

People like that don't DESERVE kids!

Why have 7 children with some LOSER that won't work??

Does this woman not have any self esteem at all that she's staying with this idiot for...........what??

What is the attraction??

Why isn't SHE working too??

Why aren't these children in PUBLIC SCHOOL if these parents can't afford to feed, clothe or keep a roof over their heads?? Home schooling costs $$$ especially for 7 children!

Both of them should be WORKING!!

And they have COLLEGE DEGREES??

PLEASE!

That is way more than I started with as a single parent! I was a high school DROP OUT, got my GED and WORKED my butt off to provide for my children!!

I've wiped old people's rear ends, I've worked in convenience stores......roofing too! I went to school when I could however I could to try to better myself and my family!

I worked 3 jobs when I needed to!! I got 3 hrs sleep a night IF I was lucky!

When you have children you do WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO to take care of them and to mold them into wonderful well balanced adults!

You can't keep children isolated, hungry, cold!! What is wrong with these people???

I KNOW what that feels like! I grew up that way and I know what its like, what kind of scars that leaves on children! They need a LOT of HELP! (and nobody can bail them out but themselves.....it sounds like the parents only ENABLE and not HELP them!)

Get them Dr Phil! Drill some sense into both of them!

I hope these children are now somewhere SAFE and WARM in a home filled with LOVE.....unconditional HEALTHY LOVE!

If they aren't, send them to ME Dr Phil, you have my contact info!!!! and I'll take all 7 of them right now and give them all they NEED.

I hope this woman is reading the message boards.

One piece of advice I have for you is to GET OUT and get out YESTERDAY!

YOU DESERVE BETTER AND SO DOES YOUR DAUGHTER!!!

REAL LOVE DOESN'T HURT!

Real love is kind, not painful.

Real words of love are soothing not barbed.

I read there are actual PHYSICAL fights too?? NO WAY!!! WHY??????

What message is this sending to your daughter!!?!?!?!?!? If you don't have the strength to leave for your own self esteem, my God get out for hers!

 To say "I still love him" after he degrades you in front of your child blows my mind!! That is very dysfunctional, very co-dependent........very SICK and twisted.

Remember that your daughter is taking notes. She is going to grow up believing this is NORMAL so when she gets into a relationship she will be seeking out HER FATHER in the man she marries!

Daughters seek out men like their fathers when the choose a husband.

Is that what you want for her???

My God your poor daughter will not know what a normal HEALTHY relationship is because all she'll have ever been taught is MEN DEGRADE THEIR WIVES because YOU are perpetuating it by staying in that sick relationship.

That 'man' is NOT trying to motivate you to lose weight. He is HUMILIATING YOU and DEGRADING YOU because he CAN. YOU ALLOW IT!!

I don't know why he feels he has the RIGHT to humiliate you, degrade you or why you feel he can get away with it but you need to put an END to it! GET OUT FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS SAKE IF YOU WONT DO IT FOR YOURSELF!!

(If he were MY husband we'd be having a blanket party and he'd be the guest of honor!)

REMEMBER: NOBODY CAN WALK ON YOU IF YOU DONT ALLOW IT!!!

Fat, skinny, buck-toothed, ugly, I don't care what anyone looks like on the outside......NOBODY DESERVES TO BE DEGRADED! NO MAN IS SO "SPECIAL" THAT HE IS WORTH PUTTING UP WITH THIS KIND OF CRAP!

GET OUT FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS SAKE IF YOU CANT DO IT FOR YOURSELF!

What Dr Phil said is true, abusers isolate their victims then control EVERYTHING. I know I grew up that way.

I'm 42 years old but I was once the age of your children. I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!

It has taken me YEARS to heal and even at this age I still have more healing to do.

Little girls often choose men like their fathers, do you want your daughter to choose an abuser?

Please, if not for your own sake, leave for the sake of your children.

NO WOMAN DESERVES TO BE PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY ABUSED!!  No CHILD DESERVES TO WITNESS ABUSE>>>>>>>>ALL CHILDREN DESERVE IS HAPPINESS AND LIGHT!

I'm telling you, I was once 3-4 (until age 13) years old and heard my father demeaning my mother, beating her, yelling, screaming, throwing things....demeaning her, physically beating her. I'd lie in bed at night paralyzed, too scared to move, too scared to make a sound, totally and utterly ALONE.

My dreams were always of screaming yet no sound came out.

Nobody could hear my silent screams.

Imagine your children lying in bed, hearing you both fighting, arguing ect......who is hearing their silent screams?

Don't allow this to happen to your children. It doesn't work! Staying with a man for the sake of the children NEVER WORKS.

Life is too short to be unhappy......go get HAPPY. Take your children, stick him with child support.....but you CAN have a beautiful life with your children so they grow up to be happy and healthy adults......with no silent screams in the middle of the night.

Accept yourself and LOVE yourself. You just need to be YOU. Find YOU and fight for your children. Fight to give you and your children a beautiful LIFE free from abuse. You deserve so much MORE!

There are some people that are destined to cheat and others that are DRIVEN to cheat!

If you plant a garden and ignore it, some other gardener might come along and start nurturing it for ya.

You snooze you LOSE.

I told my ex husband (no kids of that marriage) that if he didn't start paying attention to me and trying to make the marriage work.......I'd be gone in 6 months.

It didn't take that long because he was caught with his girlfriend! Meanwhile I was home with my 2 kids and our 4 foster children, running our home and he's out having a grand time.

He ruined 4 foster childrens lives who'd  become accustomed to our home, were part of our FAMILY and they had to be returned to the system.

I took my 2 children and moved 750 miles away.

He married his girlfriend after our divorce and they are still together 15 yrs later. My daughters grew up and they don't even think about him so he had no ill effect on them whatsoever........they were happy to be leaving that jerk.

I found TRUE LOVE a yr or two later and I've been with him 13 years, married 10 and married very happily too!

So however that marriage ended, it ended because he didn't want to work on the marriage and he couldn't pull his pants up. Whatever........if you saw her and you saw me, you'd LAUGH at what he traded me in for!

More power to them!

I got the better end of the deal. My hubby is 8 yrs younger than I am, he's HOT and we are happily married.

My ex is now a truck driver (barf) and his wife is nothing but a fat pig. Our then brand new home used to be spotless when I lived there and now you cant tell what color the carpet used to be.

Yep, so glad that marriage ended. I'd do it all over again if I knew I'd find the truest love I've ever known like I have now. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat.

One thing I NEVER did was bad-mouth their father to them, near them or even at all! It serves NO PURPOSE except to harm your own credibility!

I always figured it this way. I laid down and made these children and obvious I didn't do that alone.

So there was some 'attraction' or something for that to happen.

Why would I EVER let what might be my own personal opinion, harm the relationship between my daughters and their father.

I raised my daughters to be SMART and to make their own decisions and have their own opinions.

I figured that sooner or later they would draw their OWN conclusions without ANY input from me.

When my ex was over 7K in child support arrears and wanted to visit.......he visited regardless of my bank account.

I took care of my children very well WITHOUT that money and those girls saw me work 3 jobs for many years to take care of them.

I wasn't going to let a few dollars stand between my daughters relationship with their father!!

Fast forward, I have 2 mid-twenty year old daughters who have formed their OWN OPINION about their father. It isn't positive but HE did that on his OWN and I did NOT have to get involved!

Thankfully me and the ex were FRIENDS first and friends third.  We've always been able to talk to each other rationally.

I always thought that the MORE PEOPLE that LOVED a child the better off that child would be. Their relationship can be (and should be) a separate entity.

Thankfully I was able to do that for my daughters! They do appreciate the way they were raised as they have thanked me many times.

BTW, my ex hung himself with his behavior and now he has no contact with the kids. SAD FOR HIM!!

I don't feel sorry for any man, young or old who is 'forced to be a father' or forced to be responsible.

If you have sex and a baby is produced........TOO BAD, pay up!

The mother was good enough to bed she's good enough to wed.....is an old saying.

If a man doesn't want a baby then wear a condom, have a vasectomy or don't have sex.......simple as that!

If you screw someone casually and a baby is produced......whose fault is it? The womans? She often has to be the responsible one while the man walks free. BULLSH*T.

Why should the woman be the only responsible one?

I had 2 children out of wedlock before I was 20 and I didn't get child support. I WORKED and I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY CHILDREN.

It was very difficult but I DID IT! My girls are 24 and 26 now and I raised them ALONE.

Their lives would have been a lot better had I had some financial help from their father..and their lives enriched by a father and their fathers family........but it was not meant to be.

I was forced to be responsible for MY actions........but the guy walked away free.

I would NOT trade a single moment of being a single mother because my daughters love and respect me for all my hard work and the way they were raised. Still I think they missed out on so much and it was not fair to them!

I'm not worried about me, I worked 3 jobs for many years living on 3 hrs sleep a night, not seeing my girls as much as I wanted......I did a bang up job but I worked hard for my girls. They KNOW that.

I never talked bad about their father......I figured I didn't have to because his actions would provide them with all the answers to their questions and I was right.

I also knew if I talked bad about him it might backfire on me so I refrained from speaking badly of him.

They are adults now and know the real truth because they witnessed it all.

So men, if you're going to play be prepared to pay. You didn't hurt ME.......you hurt MY kids.

For that you'll pay for the rest of your life.

I hate World of Warcraft! (WoW)

My hubby started playing WoW a few months ago with all his buddies from work. My hubby works long hours (70) a week and I thought it was a good way for him to destress/decompress after work. To relax and be casual with the guys.

Let me tell you....I'm so done with this game. If I say anything he pitches a fit and gets angry that I'm forcing him off the game to spend time with me.

This week we have company from China........he still gets on the game after work and ignores me and our guest!!

I've said he was being RUDE and he did get off the game but he was angry.

I'm so SICK of this game. He has tried to get me to play it but I REFUSE!

Hubby does not ask for much out of life, he is a quiet person without many hobbies so I fell for this and thought it was okay for him to finally have a hobby.

I HATE IT!

I have not threatened to pull the plug on the game yet but I'm very tempted.

All I want is my hubby back.

He'll get home from work at 2:30am and go to bed at 5:00-5:30am..... He plays WoW before work (1-2 hrs) then after work for 2-3 hrs.

This has taken place of SEX, communication.........it has invaded all parts of our marriage yet he is CLUELESS.

If I complain he gets mad and threatens not to play the game at all. He has NO BALANCE here.

I've sat quietly doing my own thing, not complaining and I'm not a complaining wife.......he has a very nice job with a great salary, provides well for me. (kids are grown)

Still.......I'm frustrated right now but haven't gotten to the anger stage. If I reach the anger stage you better believe WoW is going to be G-O-N-E gone!

(he might go with it!)

I think WoW is the worst game ever......it has invaded so many homes, so many lives, so many things......and the addicts are clueless.

I wish this game was never invented. I bet there are many divorces due to WoW with many more to come......who knows, my once happy marriage may join the long line.

I'll pull the plug on the game when I've had enough and he knows he's pushing me to the brink of it.....but I want HIM to realize he's taking too much away from our marriage....I want HIM to want to get off the game.....I want HIM to realize on his own that this is an ugly addiction like any other substance.

WHY are people KILLING their children with FOOD??

WHY so many OBESE children???

I don't understand HOW a parent can ALLOW a child to get MORBIDLY OBESE at all!

YOU CONTROL THE FOOD THAT COMES INTO YOUR HOME!!

I knew the moment my daughter was born that it was MY RESPONSIBILITY to feed her a decent BALANCED meal every single day. That was a lean protein, a carbohydrate, a vegetable and rarely a bread....and then it was whole wheat long before it became popular. (she's now 24 and has been eating it all her life)

Yes I allowed junk food.......NOW AND THEN......very RARE occasions, birthday parties, Holidays ect.

I would go in the grocery store and see other peoples carts full of JUNK for their families and I would shake my head. I could not understand how anyone could feed their kids junk like frozen pizza's, pizza rolls, french fries, chips, doritos, dips......ICE CREAM all next to the HOT DOGS and lunch meats like BOLONGNA.

It digusted me then and it disgusts me now to see the JUNK people will eat.

We do have the occasional treat, like right now I'm baking a homemade NY style cheesecake...but it is made with Splenda and low-no fat cream cheese. It tastes every bit as good as the super fattening version that you'd never know the difference. (In fact you may say mine is better!)

Everything in America seems to be dripping with SUGAR.

My foreign guests were shocked at how SWEET everything is in America! They were appalled! They were grateful to come home to a good well balanced and low fat and HEALTHY meal!

Why would anyone over-feed a child let alone over-feed them the wrong things? FOOD IS NOT LOVE!

FOOD IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR LOVE.

FOOD IS NOT AFFECTION!

Food is not comfort!

Food is FUEL. Food is a TOOL.

WHY would you subject your child to CHILDHOOD TYPE 2 DIABETES? High cholesterol? Heart disease?

Why give them ADULT health problems??

Do you realize that for the first time the children today have a shorter life expectancy than we do?

COME ON PEOPLE WAKE UP!!

You can have treats, you don't have to deprive yourself.......just be responsible. Withholding sugar laden snacks is NOT child abuse! THAT is LOVE!

We have found ourselves in over our heads like so many others in America.

Hubby has a great job but I'm disabled, the medical bills are astounding. The catalyst was the high gas prices, the higher food prices, the higher electricity rates......it seemed to sink us fast.

We thought 'It won't happen to us" or we were immune. NO SO!

We just missed our first house payment this month......but we're NOT STRESSING about it!

If we go into foreclosure sure it will be devastating to lose our home, our first home, a home that took years of credit rebuilding to be able to buy.

If we file bankruptcy yes it will be devastating after years of credit rebuilding.

But you know what? We've lost far more....3 very much wanted pregnancies. What might have made other marriages fall apart (infertility then 3 pregnancy losses with me almost dying twice) has brought us together so tight nothing can shake our marriage..........least of all a HOUSE or credit.

Life will go on if we go bankrupt or go into foreclosure, as long as we're TOGETHER we'll weather any storm!

I'd live in a cardboard box as long as my hubby was beside me!

Debt is NOTHING compared to losing 3 pregnancies! I'd file bankruptcy tomorrow, who cares? We've already been through HELL losing our babies.......bankruptcy and foreclosure will be NOTHING.

Hey, we've rented before.......so who cares?

Right now its as bad as things can get but we're NOT fighting or arguing or anything over money. We either have it or we don't. We somehow always find a way.

Being disabled I cannot help financially (not eligible for SSDI or SS benefits, hubbys income makes me ineligible for SSDI and I lack work quarters for Social Security benefits)

My medical bills are astronomical, my medication is over 1000 a month........thank God for some insurance to help pay for some of it......still our out of pocket expenses are crazy.

There are far more things I can think of that are worse than financial problems, like losing 3 pregnancies or not having my medication and having to go back in my wheelchair and be in so much pain I think of death as a viable escape. (without being depressed either!)

As long as I have my hubby beside me I can endure anything. Bring it on, I'm sure I've survived worse....like rape, 13 yrs of child abuse, mental physical and sexual abuse.....self destructing over the rape for many years.........I've survived it all, bankruptcy or foreclosure is NOTHING in comparison.

Be grateful you have your children, be grateful for everything positive in your life.......you might have to look for it but its there.

Ask yourself, what's the WORST that could happen and go from there.

Nearly 14 yrs strong here......we'll weather any storm that comes our way TOGETHER.