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Messages By: omgwhocares

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June 9, 2007, 11:37 pm PDT

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: penny_lady

See...it's comments like these that really freak me out about homeschoolers and it makes me think that maybe it's just not a good idea.

I don't think it's a good idea to try to prevent kids from seeing that people with "opposing morals" can be GOOD people. That there are people who see homosexuals as people, and not "sinners" and that people..LIKE ME...are ok to have as role models. Instead, what do you really think will happen when you raise your kids to see only your point of view as positive? Why try to prevent them from having role models who may not see the world as you do? If your morals, and values are so GOOD then maybe your kids will choose them on their OWN and not only because their role models have been limited to those who agree with you.

I could be a good role model in some ways to a lot of kids. But I am an atheist, I am not against homosexuality, I very much understand the facts of evolution. So...I will be painted as an "opposing" and "confusing" role model. It's ridiculous.

Instead, what do you really think will happen when you raise your kids to see only your point of view as positive?

My POV is that there is nothing wrong with heterosexuality or homosexuality.  I've always told my kids that is something they decide for themselves when they are grown.  As in, when speaking of future, I tried never to assume they would want a husband or wife or none... all were and still are possibilites.  Maybe it's that I had too many friends who were so troubled coming out to their parents, but I couldn't let that happen.  That's my morality, my value system... I share it with my kids and of course they run into people who disagree, so they know there is another side.  But, I wouldn't encourage them to join the others, I'm sure I'm negative about that. 

 

It's difficult to not be negative towards opposing views.  Especially things I feel strongly about.  And I hope my kids will agree with me. 

 

My kids are old enough to have some differing views from my own, and we understand and respect each other's perspective.  Fortunately it hasn't been anything too difficult to accept. 

 

But anyway, I would have trouble sending my kid off to a school where I thought the teacher was going to be spouting off anti-gay sentiments or christocentric ideology.  I've seen too much pain come out of that. 

 

I haven't really tried to hide that there are opposing views to mine, nor sought them out. 

 

Maybe this attitude freaks people out about homeschoolers, but I don't know anyone who feels so differently.  I always thought parent's choose schools that teach values they are comfortable with. 

 

 

 

 

 
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June 9, 2007, 11:53 pm PDT

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: penny_lady

Let's be honest here, how many of you who are going to home school or ARE home schooling are conservative Christians trying to "protect" your kids from the liberal bad guys of the secular world?

This is why I don't want to home school..the only other home school families I have had experience with are these types...it's very disappointing, not to mention sickeningly stereotypical.

Let's be honest here, how many of you who are going to home school or ARE home schooling are conservative Christians trying to "protect" your kids from the liberal bad guys of the secular world?

 

This probably came across in my last post, but I don't think I really qualify that way.  And it's odd because it was my post that started this LOL 

 

What I meant by my values and morals was honesty (my quakerness showing through) and respect (both students and teachers), and maybe within that a sense of real learning, not just for the test and not for others, but rather the true sense of a thirst for knowledge.  There's probably much more to it, but just so that it didn't come across meaning... secular world. 

 

 

This is why I don't want to home school..the only other home school families I have had experience with are these types...it's very disappointing, not to mention sickeningly stereotypical.

I used to think that was all homeschoolers once upon a time, and have met a lot like that still.  I was going to write, it's not even most, but I think that may be my perspective because I hang with a lot of unschoolers.  It may be more than 1/2, or less, but there are plenty of liberal homeschoolers. 

 

I don't really classify myself as a liberal either, I never quite fit in to any category neatly. 

 
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June 10, 2007, 12:03 am PDT

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: gtrudeau

We are conservative Catholics and I would agree that many values we hold dear would probably not be respected in the P.S. around here, from either teachers/admins or students.  The values I speak of are mostly respect for authority and sexual ethics.

 

If my kid attends P.S., I have no control over whom she socializes with.  I don't want DD hanging around with kids who have no respect for Mom and Dad or teacher.  I want DD to reserve sex for her spouse, not treat it casually as so many teens and adults do these days.  I want DD to learn about sex from us, not from her peers.  I don't want DD hearing opposing views of homosexuality from authority figures who she is expected to respect and learn from. 

 

As a Christian, I know we're supposed to be a light to others.  But there's something to be said for playing a defensive game too.  

If my kid attends P.S., I have no control over whom she socializes with.  I don't want DD hanging around with kids who have no respect for Mom and Dad or teacher. 

Can you really control this?  Maybe it's that I have teens, or maybe that I think it's up to them to choose their own friends, but I can't see this working. 

 

  I don't want DD hearing opposing views of homosexuality from authority figures who she is expected to respect and learn from. 

I know what you mean, I get very discouraged when I hear someone speak disparagingly about homosexuals. I guess we just have to make sure our kids know that some people are disrespectful towards others.  Teach them not to hate or judge, but be aware that there are people who do hate and judge. 

 

As a Christian, I know we're supposed to be a light to others.

As a Quaker, we keep in the light... at times it's more challenging than others. 

 
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June 10, 2007, 12:11 am PDT

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: kschmittz

"Here's the basics: you take a child and stick them with peers who give very bad advice and moral lessons for the majority of the day and then try to reverse the thinking to coincide with your Christian beliefs. This works for you, good. I choose to educate my children on the way things should be done (according to our beliefs) for the majority of the day and the other part of their day is spent with their peers who (undoubtedly) try to reverse the thinking to more along the lines of the "social norm". It only seems like common sense to me that the more "training", "lessons" or "experience" a child receives on one subject the more they will accept the teachings. "

 

To start with this....maybe just maybe if you instilled the proper values correctly (assuming you acutally live them yourself) they would choose the "right" friends from the start.  I don't "stick" my kids with  immoral peers anymore than you hide yours from the world.  Now who's view is skewed?  Also, as for what works for me , you have assumed this whole time and never asked.  My kids (as most) are still young and do accept our beliefs.  Will this change as they get older?  I expect it will but hopefully as human nature runs its course they will return to our values.  Every child, regardless of upbringing, will experiment and try things outside of their world...I choose to be honest about that and work with it instead of try and avoid the inevitable.  I cannot control or pick who they run into in life....that is for God to decide.  Meaning, I may think this friend or that one is not "good" for my son but ultimately he makes the choice.  If they have good self esteem and see the value of making a good choice then they will do so. 

 

 

"IOW, my children are shown the right way most of the time and the wrong way a small part of the time. How hard is it to figure out which way I believe works best? "

 

I'm assuming the acronym IOW stands for In Our World?  If so, that is exactly that type of mentality that keeps me from homeschooling.  Why do you feel you need to create another world for your kids?  They will be living in this one.   Also, the right way...hmmm...who decides that?  To me, that is a matter of perception.  For example, in my house (not my world) we don't believe in divorce but someone else may feel justified in that decision.  In my house, we don't steal or cheat...for others who are starving that may be a means of necessity.  You see, Mamma, anything can be considered right or wrong depending on the circumstances.  My husband said it best and at first I was confused but now I get it.  He said there is no place for Christian kids in a Christian school anymore than Jesus belonged in a church. 

 

 

"BUT, I won't allow you to interfere with my parenting. You suggest many regulations on homeschooling. LOL! We see how good regulations are in other areas of government schooling, do you really think they would work? ;)"

 

Tell me ...how do my opinions interefere your parenting?  If someone else's point of view in another state affects your life that much then maybe you need to regroup and see how strong your values are.  In my house, they are age-old philosphies that withstand the test of many things.  You see, it is a struggle (one we call life) to teach kids right from wrong and how to apply that in the world.  Life is not always fair just because you'd like it to be and because you are nice.  However, I teach my kids that if you are nice and good to people it will come back someday and some time.  Not sure what goes on in your house that is so different but to each his own. 

 

"How comical is this? What world do you live in Kira? In my really real world we have police officers, government officials, etc.... Hell, even a shop owner is considered an authority figure if you are in his store. :)"

 

I agree on this being comical.  Police officers are not part of our everyday decision making with our kids but yes, we do teach them to respect them when we see them.  As for governement officials you seem adamant they don't do much anyway but screw up the schoools.  As for respect of shop owners...I don't know who owns the Wal Mart but I can tell you my kids don't treat a place of business like a playground.  When I talk about authority figures, I 'm referring to everyday influences - parents,  teachers,  family friends, coaches.  If you are the ever present denominator in all things they will depend on you forever.  In turn, I am not at school but he is supervised. He (my son) has choices to make without me present.  That's when the true test of our teachings matter- does he make a good choice even when I'm not there? 

 

"Maybe your peers talked about... not respecting parents or teachers, wanting to party all the time, being soooo bored in school, not caring about grades, etc..... These are the social lessons my children are free from. "

 

As I said, many kids stray from what the core family values are at some point- this is human nature.  To me, the above scenario happens when parents only want to control and shelter kids from these things.  Instead I choose to accept they exist and impose consequences for rules my child breaks along the way- ditching school, dis-respect.  You assume that these are the only social lessons that exist at a public school.  You are naive...these things are everywhere...this is society as of late.  That is why I show my kids what I do....let them decide how they feel about what they see and hear.  IMO, if they are "free" to develop their own choices, opinions and feeling about this or that they are more likely to stick to them when the time comes.  Again, my kids are still young so much of what you talk about is not really applicable to me.  Also, if you think that by only showing them positive things (however you do that) they will only choose that way...God help you later in life.  This is what bothers me most about homeschooling- the contradictions.  How can you possibly expose your children to the world but show the the majority of "good" things most of the day?   

 

"I choose to educate my children on the way things should be done (according to our beliefs) for the majority of the day"

 

The only way to do this is to keep them at home....exactly the reason I don't agree with homeschooling!  The things I choose to educate my kids on are best used in life while they are living it- not avoiding it.  There are good things everywhere and lessons to be learned from every situation. 

 

 

The only way to do this is to keep them at home....exactly the reason I don't agree with homeschooling!  The things I choose to educate my kids on are best used in life while they are living it- not avoiding it. 

So, you don't agree with all homeschoolers or only those who are avoiding life?  Because, and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see me or my kids avoiding life.  Nor do I see most homeschoolers doing this. 

 

There are good things everywhere and lessons to be learned from every situation.

I agree 100% That's why we're unschoolers. 

 

 

 
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June 10, 2007, 12:19 am PDT

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: penny_lady

See...it's comments like these that really freak me out about homeschoolers and it makes me think that maybe it's just not a good idea.

I don't think it's a good idea to try to prevent kids from seeing that people with "opposing morals" can be GOOD people. That there are people who see homosexuals as people, and not "sinners" and that people..LIKE ME...are ok to have as role models. Instead, what do you really think will happen when you raise your kids to see only your point of view as positive? Why try to prevent them from having role models who may not see the world as you do? If your morals, and values are so GOOD then maybe your kids will choose them on their OWN and not only because their role models have been limited to those who agree with you.

I could be a good role model in some ways to a lot of kids. But I am an atheist, I am not against homosexuality, I very much understand the facts of evolution. So...I will be painted as an "opposing" and "confusing" role model. It's ridiculous.

I could be a good role model in some ways to a lot of kids.

I'm sure that's true, but putting the shoe on the other foot...  Would you want to give your child a role model of someone who calls homosexuals sinners, and makes racist remarks? 

 

 

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