Messages By: fromthesquare

One of the ways that a child suffers years after being molested is guilt.  Feeling as if you should have done something to stop the predator, feeling that it is somehow your fault that he molested you or continued his perversion are what is left after abuse.  There is so much shame that a child feels when they are touched by an adult that they often can't talk to anyone about it for years.  I realize that he never got to touch you physically but he left the same mark on you that he left on others.  Shake off the guilt, talk about it, get counseling if you need to. 

Also to answer your question about the polygraph, Dr. Phil stated that because there would be 2 heartbeats the test would be misleading.

My son is now 15 years old.  My husband and I realized he was different than his peers around the age of 6 but he was not diagnosed with Asperger's until he was 9.  I did research on this diagnosis and found that many children with Asperger's have itolerance to gluten and/or milk.  I removed mild from his diet and the change was dramamtic.  He had been "stimming" by flapping his hands in front of his face, pacing back and forth in our front yard and having many meltdowns.  These disappeared.

To this day I can tell when my son has eaten milk- (he never drinks it.)   There is milk in so many foods.  He is good at knowing what has milk in it.  Occassionally he will eat it anyway and he becomes depressed, irritable and angry. 

Try it parents! It might help.

I home schooled my son, Joe, as well because I was afraid he would be picked on.  He also had a hard time with his brothers.  He would get so mad that he'd cry and tell me that I always stuck up for them.  With Joe he never seemed to see life from the other persons perspective.  But I guess that is what AS is about. 

What helped with Joe was Vitamin B-6 and Magnesium.  Dr. Rimland, of the Autism Institute in California, found that AS kids were often lacking in these.  B-6 is important in neuro- transmissions and magnesium helps to prevent hyperactivity that can accompany B-6 as well being an important supplement. 

I also removed milk from his diet.  He craved all types of foods high in milk so it was tough at first but his meltdowns became fewer and fewer.  Today is in high school.  He has friends.  He weight lifts, wrestles and plays football.  He is happy.  If he eats food with milk he becomes depressed and irritable again.  I am hoping that he will outgrow this intolerance but he hasn't yet.  His allergy testing is negative- this is a reaction not an allergy.  Food for thought.   You are in my prayers!

What you describe when there is a fire drill at school might be auditory sensitivity.  Many children with autism/ asperger's have sensory sensitivities.  They experience not only anxiety with loud noises but actual pain.  Often children with this sensitivity cannot tolerate the hum of fluorescent lights which are in almost all classrooms.  Most people don't even hear this hum, but to kids with this sensitivity it can be distracting or even painful.

Many doctors are hesitant to label a child autistic.  Parents are more accepting (for what ever reason) of the diagnosis of ADD.  The important thing is that they need a diagnosis to get services from the schools.  What ever your son's diagnosis his Individualized Education Program (IEP) should be adapted to fit his needs regardless of diagnosis.

See my message of November 12. 

Our kids might not be able to catch a baseball or skip, but they have so many other talents to accentuate!  Compliment him often on the things he is good at.   When he is into one of his "interests" get interested with him.  My son changed interests so quickly I could hardly keep up but we have had fun together with them.

I certainly did not mean to imply that you son Alex is not able.  All kids are different.  Asperger's kids typically have difficulty with fine motor skills.  This is one of the considerations that a professional uses when diagnosing.  I am not, however, a professional- just a mom.  I took him to a neurologist and psychologist for a diagnosis.  Both were in agreement.  They are the professionals.  Since then I have attended conferences, spoken with other parents and read everything that I could about Asperger's.  I have been able to help my son dramatically using advice from the Autism Research Institute (. com) and the work of Dr. Bernard Rimland.  Please know that you are in my prayers.  This is the hardest time.  The uncertainty of not knowing how to help your child.  I remember worrying that I would hurt my son by labeling him.  7 years has past since I was where you are.  I can tell you that it did help Joe to have a diagnosis.  He is doing so well now.  He is happy, muscular and well adjusted.   Again, I am not insinuating that Alex isn't.  Good luck and God bless you and Alex.  Call on me again if you want to chat. 

Kathy