Messages By: ddmommy1

My husband and I have an almost 3 year old daughter.  He is a very wonderful and involved father who does shift work and spends alot of time with her on his own.  We disagree on what type of behaviour to discipline.  We I spend time with her I have several rules (IE no jumping on the couch, and I am working on decreasing the whinning) but it seems that he does not follow through with the same rules.  When I ask him about he says he does discipline her, but when we are all together I do all of the discipline.  I think that we don't agree what level of discipline to give her.  For example I want her to use a fork and spoon instead of her hands, and tells me "She's only 3 you know"  I find it very difficult to fight with her and him.  Am I expecting too much from my almost three year old?

I have had several conversations with him and he has two pat answers.  "I do discipline her when your not here. " and " I don't know anything about parenting.  I don't know what's too much to expect."  Are here some resources out there than can outline developmental behaviour and what is reasonalbe behaviour to expect from a certain age group.  My husband just doesn't seem to take my word for it.  He needs tosee/hear it from an unbias source.  (Plus I think he has abadoment issues and really needs to have his daughter love him.) She is already manipulatiing.  When I put her in a time out for some behaviour, she will cry and want her Daddy.  He is her favorite.