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Messages By: ddmommy1

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November 3, 2006, 2:06 am CST

Disagree on when to discipline

My husband and I have an almost 3 year old daughter.  He is a very wonderful and involved father who does shift work and spends alot of time with her on his own.  We disagree on what type of behaviour to discipline.  We I spend time with her I have several rules (IE no jumping on the couch, and I am working on decreasing the whinning) but it seems that he does not follow through with the same rules.  When I ask him about he says he does discipline her, but when we are all together I do all of the discipline.  I think that we don't agree what level of discipline to give her.  For example I want her to use a fork and spoon instead of her hands, and tells me "She's only 3 you know"  I find it very difficult to fight with her and him.  Am I expecting too much from my almost three year old?
 
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November 3, 2006, 9:16 am CST

Too Much Discipline?

Quote From: jettav

i think you need to have a little family meeting consisting of you and him and communicate and get ont he same page, agree to disagree on some things and set the boundaries on things, you gotta choose your battles, work on the most imporant things first and go from there. If you don't work together, then the child will catch on and she will learn to play one parent against the other and then you are gonna have real problems on your hands.
I have had several conversations with him and he has two pat answers.  "I do discipline her when your not here. " and " I don't know anything about parenting.  I don't know what's too much to expect."  Are here some resources out there than can outline developmental behaviour and what is reasonalbe behaviour to expect from a certain age group.  My husband just doesn't seem to take my word for it.  He needs tosee/hear it from an unbias source.  (Plus I think he has abadoment issues and really needs to have his daughter love him.) She is already manipulatiing.  When I put her in a time out for some behaviour, she will cry and want her Daddy.  He is her favorite.   
 

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