Messages By: shetypes

While I understand that both parents and others involved love this child: The father is definately

not telling the whole truth.  He has to 'think' about weatehr he did something as ugly as use his

tongue on his little girl to feed her cake?  He had to 'lock' the bathroom door to change her diaper while at her birthday party after not seeing her for such a long time and he did not reassure this child  using 'safe' when the drama happened for visitation pickup?  I agree the Mom is probably rewarding her daughter with emotional attention BUT a Mom thinking her child may be being abused and hearing such things from her, well yea I would think she would be emotional and coddling?  The father: he was in a relationship with a minor, got her pregnant and married her?  Only got a mimimal charge for that? Replied back on it as if not a big deal and

the injury while this little girl was at his home under his care, reported and he still has unsupervised visitations proves that the Mother is correct on the system not caring enough: because the alligations was there first, injury second and child obviously last thought for safety!

 I have seen the systems that is suppose to protect the children fail a few times in life and there is the good, the bad and the ugly even in that system!  The ball was dropped for this child.

Fact: very few child mollesters admit to thier crime and will continue to harm children until they stopped!  Rarely do they consider the victim before themselves! 

I'd like to also add that sexual crimes have always happened, it is ugly but at least in the past decade our systems do more about it unlike so many generations of vicitims it was kept secret.

A child screaming to not go is a big neon sign that something is very rotten in this.

I highly doubt Dr. Phil did not observe a liar or lies but he also has to do what is best for the child, if he mishandles this that child may become more victimized.

I so agree, why would he 1- after so long not seeing this daughter need to change her? She didn't know him as anythig long enough for any kind of parenting responsibilities by him?

                        2-why did he 'lock' the door? Thats obsurd! again he hadn't seent his child in a long time, she had to be scared, she did not know him!

                        3-The injury while he had visitation is definately more than enough to make any decent Mom be emotional, compasionate and yes overly coddling to her child who the courts is forcing her to send with a suspected child abuser!

                        4- he had to 'think' about what might have happened to be misconstrued as sticking his tongue in his daughters mouth?  Hell no, he had to think is it possible they have a picture or film of it?

 I so agree!  It is sick this child is going through so much emotional destruction and being forced to go with anyone after such a display of utter fear in her eyes regarding being with that person.

Parents liars?  Well what I seen was  a child begging  pleading with her mother to not go, fear in her eyes, heart breaking and such a pathetic goodbye to her Mom as if it is possible she'd never see her again!  The child did tell us all more than words: her eyes, her voice and the tone of dispare sounded out so absolutely true regardless of anything said by anyone else!

Oh yes and so many wonder why the victims end up being just

what they are accused of so foten: LIARS?

Why shouldn't they turn to lies? It is what so many made

of thier terrible pain?  Many turn to being a liar from the

loved ones and professionals calling them liars. Many

spiral a path of confused thoughts and tend to confuse

the so many memories of pain, shame and guilt because

of how the situations was handled.  Too many families

are in deep denial or plain evil when it comes to

sexual abuse.

I don't think we have to be so careful in a case like this.

A child is clinging for life on her Mom, says she don't

like her father, don't want to go with him and tells

'they touch my peepee'?  Did you hear her the childs

heart, the tone, the words spoken? Did you see the look

in that little girls eyes? The Mom in no way should be held

in such a high restraint rule, I would be petrified to let

my daughter go too, how does one let go of their child

when they beg and plea with so much pain and fear

showing?  If taking a chance some adult is accused

verses a child in danger well error of judgement should

always go with the child.  What are you talking about with

Mothers changing diapers? Why would he need to change

his daughters diaper anyways, he hadn't seen this child

in about 2 years? The door locked?  Evidence? She had

to be taken to the ER, he'd do that because it was the only

possible way to have it handled and only chance to protect

himself.  He probably did think he could manipulate the

professional Doctors.  Most sex offenders are very skilled

at manipulating.

There is in fact three sides> most here are speaking of the third

side, the little girl!  She showed what many of know as a fact

from our own personal experience.  We see the eyes, hear

the pain and shame from her Heart.

Now add on that the stupidity of a father taking a child who

barely knows him into a bathroom, lock the door? Don't

know if he stuck his tongue in her mouth? Has to maul over

his memory if he knows anyone who was mollested?

I side with this child: she has shown what ignorant

professionals don't see and it does show up throughout

the years and can lead to self abuse, sucicidal tendancy and

/or adverse sexual activity.  3 sides, always!

If she leaves, they find her, guess who would probably

get custody of the child? Father!

and how can she possible be there for her little girl

if she is locked up for running away with her?

That Mom is struggling, no doubt, I bet she wishes

alot, like she'd never tried to put the father back in

her daughters life, but she was trying to do what

is right for her daughter? I bet she wishes she

could run away with her and be safe in it.

Wow, you just think you have it all figured out?

Well a sex offender sometimes uses names

for hiself or his parts such as frogman.

As for the fork?  Well a child could misunderstand

another word she didn't know that was used

starting with F?  also it is common with an

abused child to use a word associated with

an instrument because of the pain that was caused.

I would dare say a child saying poked with a fork

is really saying how bad it felt based on experience

of a fork poking her at some time?

Set aside what the partents said for a second? huh?

Listen close to a young child without a strong vocabulary?

Fork? Hurt? I don't like you Daddy?  I don't wanna go?

Can I see my Mommy again? 

Then look at her again but see the eyes, hear the voice?

Did you see her clinging to her Mom for life?

That was absolutely a scared child and of whom?

Unfortunately when the truth comes out it is often in

a hospital after self-injury by the victim or a suicide

atempt or in front of police because the child is on

a winding sprial of troubles?

Get the troubled angry child before they become

a troubled angry adult?

From what I know about sexual offenders:

'they' makes sense from a child.

'they' could mean both the father

and his private parts or digits named the 'frogman'

I'll gladly join your board.  I also am so sorry for

your pain and frustration over this. Do remember

that many of us are speaking from personal experience.

It is not always so easy to get involved? I have a daughter

who was abused and I did not know until she was an

adult performing self-injury and suicidal. No she did not

show any signs until then. Excellent student, wonderful daughter,

loved and respected as a well rounded, gifted person.

I have been envolved in different chat rooms and

sometimes it is too much.  I also know of a little girl who

was murdered by the sex pervert because she was not believed

and before this moved from county to county to escape the

system gettign envolved.  Please don't be too hard on the many

concerned posters here?  They are now getting envolved

because they seen and heard this child.  I usualy always

watch Dr. Phil but did not know about you til now.

I applaud your efforts and time in this matter and do

appreciate your frustrations.