Messages By: jillybean27

I had gastric bypass surgery (Open RNY) in April 2004. The surgery saved my life.

 

I wouldn't necessarily recommend the surgery to someone else. Its a very personal decision. Its a risky surgery. Its life changing, and not something that should be entered into lightly. Medical testing should be done, therapy should be obtained, a support group should be attended, and lots and lots of research should be done on the surgery itself and the surgeons you are thinking about using.

 

Surgery is not a quick fix. If you are not ready to change your life forever, surgery is not for you. The surgery is a tool to help you lose weight initially. Its up to you to continue to take the weight off, and maintain it once you reach your target weight. The stomach pouch CAN and does stretch. Anyone contemplating this surgery for anything other than health reasons will be extremely disappointed. Weight is often a symptom of something else, and I've found that as the weight comes off, those things the weight was hiding begin to surface. You become very vulnerable.

 

Like I said in the beginning, this surgery saved my life. I started at 288lbs, a size 26/28. I am now 136lbs, size 6. My BMI went from a very unhealthy 46.5 to 22.something. It took me 18 months to loose the weight, and I've been maintaining for a year now. Its been a long journey, some of it very difficult, especially from the mental/emotional side. I've been blessed with a very loving and supportive husband. I've been blessed with wonderful friends. I can run with my children again. Not that it was in trouble before, but I have a better, closer relationship with my husband. I found myself again. For that, I am forever greatful. The looks are just a bonus.

I am the mother of 10 year old daughters and a 6 year old son. If any of my children were EVER molested, there is not a chance in hell I would ever let them within the vacinity of that person ever again. There is no way *I* could be in the same vacinity unless I wanted to be carted off to jail. Reconcile? Are you kidding me? He stole that little girl's soul. I couldn't imagine the trauma that little girl would go through having to come face to face with him again.

I just watched the show today (yeah, a day late-- thank goodness for DVR). I have never been in your situation, but as a mother, my heart completely breaks for you. I was shaking and crying as I heard some of the excuses that came out of that "man's" mouth. I commend you for your strength. I applaud you for standing by your convictions, and I applaud your husband for standing behind you as it was obvious to me he had very mixed emotions. I look forward to watching the next episode, and hearing what Grace has to say.

Hello,

 I have been an Army wife for 12 years, have children, and have survived several deployments and other separations. If you need to talk, feel free to contact me.

 

Jil

Corretion- that should read "I have 3 children"  , not "have children"

I just watched the show, I found  myself quite amused. The sad thing is, I believe Paul's ideas just may work. It seems he moves so quickly, that women don't realize what they've gotten into until it's too late. Of course his cards were all laid out on the table for us, the audience, but in everyday life, I can see how he would be percieved as very charming, just by the way he interacted with that girl on the show. Hopefully, now that he's been seen on Dr. Phil, more women will be aware of this  wolf in sheeps clothing.

 

John, oh, poor John. I do think "worst person in the world" is an exaggeration, and perhaps the backlash to his poor response to the email he recieved was blown out of proportion. I think in reality, his ego was severaly bruised by the woman who rejected him. Seems he is so insecure that he has to continue to flash his resume to convince himself he's accomplished. There is nothing wrong with success, but when someone keeps shoving their success down your throat, it's a huge red flag that he's an insecure guy.

If you're not getting what you need from your husband, you turn TOWARDS him. You discuss your feelings, concerns, wants and needs. You suggest counseling. You do what you can to help your relationship survive and thrive. After all is said and done, if it is decided the relationship just cannot be worked out, you part ways. You deal with the issues as you learn to live separately and co-parent as a non-couple. When everyone is settled and adjusted, THEN you move on to someone else. You don't move on and involve more people when you still have unfinished business to take care of. It is selfish and unfair to all parties involved.