Messages By: shortcomings

Quote From: chrisbon

  i was watching TV today and the past couple of days and all i have seen  are reports about weight lose, gain, how to lose weight, and a new show being aired on fx about ridiculing eating disorders and giving more misunderstanding to eating disorders, as if we need help being misunderstood.  

  i have fought this miserable illness for twenty five years and the last two days have been awful, I'm so scared if i start eating again i may explode! I'm feeling very anxious, at work today all anyone could talk about is there weight, complaining about how fat they are, even if there not. so i make my plans to lose more and to be perfectly thin. i get on the scale at least four times after i get home from work and twice in the morning and eat as little as possible. what are we going to do, no one understands the illness and even the size 10's think there fat, so TV continually says you need to lose more weight and we keep believing it's true and people die everyday of so called heart attacks, when they actually died of an eating disorder. when will it stop?  

Quote From: brendamm

If I knew the answer to to your question I would scream it from the highest mountain - LOL

I've been anorexic most of my life (I'm 47 now) and I have been in recovery for quite some time

BUT I still am very sensative about negative comments or disparaging looks.  I really try to

keep the attitude that tis THEIR problem and not my problem, but it sure is hard some times.

You are right it is the hardest when it comes from someone you love and trust - you start to

feel that maybe you are not worthy of their love etc... I have been through this A LOT through

the years.  My husband Steve is not one to EVER give compliments - thats how he was raised.

Generally any comment is a negative comment or at least very ambiguous. So its up to me

to fill in the blanks - I tell myself I look nice, or cute hair day.  Its either that or slip back into

the hole of anorexia.  It has to come from YOU

Good Luck

Brenda

 

Quote From: brendamm

Welcome

Anorexia is not about how you look its about how you eat (or don't eat).  Too many people are

too quick to judge a room full of thin people as a bunch of anorexics. They never stop to think

maybe they are just small framed thin people...it happens.  On the other hand if you are dramatically thin, there may be a medical problem (whether its anorexia, bulimia, thyroid disorders, horonal disorders etc.).. that need to be checked out by medical professionals.

 

I thought yesterdays show did a good job showing that the problem in person with the disease.

We (as people with eating disorders) think we have everything under control - yeah right.

The last time I thought that I ended up having a heart attack.   The show was extremely painful for most people to see.  For some of us it hit close to home, for others it reminded us of

painful pasts or friends and family members going through eating disorders.

 

I really hope you are OK.  Do you have issues with food, eating, not eating, exercise etc..?

It also sounds like a lot of people care about you.  Why not make an appointment with

your family physician or counselor - you have to be 100% honest with them.  Lay all your

cards on the table and get a professional objective opinion.  If you go in there lying about

things you have more problems than you think. 

 

There are a lot of things you can do to help yourself.  Have you read Dr Phils book Self Matters

That is a fantastic book - it helped me discover the driving force behind my eating disorder.

You have to get to the root of the problem before you can fix the problem.  If you buy the book

make sure to do ALL the exercises - I promise you will get your monies worth.  I was amazed

at the insight I gained. 

If there is anything I can do to help you, plese let me know.  I am a great sounding board.

Feel free to pop in vent, scream, yell, cry and laugh when ever you feel the need

 

Good Luck

 

Brenda

Quote From: brendamm

Congratulation on conquering your eating disorder.  You have a lot to be proud of.

 

Brenda

Quote From: kajunpeach

 Hi.   I am just checking in and reading posts.

my daughter and I had a long talk a few days ago.  We have always been so very close so I know this was difficult for her to say to me.  She told me that since, (a few years ago), I went to court and got temporary guardianship of her and put her in treatment for 30 days, (which we all know is not nearly long enough), that she no longer trusts me.  She goes to a counselor, but not one that is a specialitst with eating disorders.  The work she is doing also involves a group therapy session.  For her to tell me that the trust is gone between herself and her family was very difficult for her to say.

 

However, I knew that she felt that way.  She has let me know in other situations that I took control away from her over her own life and that she would never ever go back to inpatient treatment.

Quote From: butterflies

Brenda,

    You may be right about them caring. It's just, I dont know. I have a hard time with people caring. No one has ever really cared about me other than my dad when I was small. I dont know but thank you.

-Amber Brooke

 

Quote From: brendamm

I am now 47 and have had the eating disorder since I was about 4 yrs old...yes children can and

do have eating disorders.  Until people get to the root of their problem they are just treading

water try to stay aflot.  Once you can commit to finding the truth no matter how hard things

may get, then you start to see progress.  It too me over 20 yrs to struggle my way through

all the stress and trama drama associated with eating disorders. 

This disease landed me in a wheelchair after setting off a horrific chain of genetic disorders

I am now legally blind, have had heart attacks AND strokes and the list goes on and on.

After years of really hard work lhysically and mentally I have over come many obstacles.

Of course some of them I will carry with me the rest of my life. 

I am so committed to helping other people going through this.  People don't understant

until they have an eating disorder.  It can be dealt with and it came be over come but be

prepared to be 100 % honest with yourself and everyone trying to help you, know that there

is going to be a lot of pain involved with healing - you HAVE to face your fears.  Just do it

one day at a time and some times its just hour by hour. 

Due to the mitochondrial disease the anorexia set off, I have had to come to term with things.

You do that real fast when you are told you are going to die.  I had to have face cancer, a mastectomy and being permanently disabled.  I was a 32 yr old nurse (a single mom)

when I first got really really sick and had to stop work.  You have 2 choices when stuff like

that happens get real about your life and take charge or roll over and die.  Obviously I

fought like hell - and I am still fighting everyday.  I will always have the mitochondrial disease

I was in remission until about a month ago.  But you have to deal with what ever is dealt to you

You can't blame other people and you take responsibility for your own mistakes.

 And don't let the negativity of others get you down.  Remember their problems are just that THEIR problems - you have enough of your own with out automatically assuming you are the cause of theirs.

I would really advise people to go back and read my first posts - Physical Fall Outs of Anorexia

it will be a real honest eye opener for a lot of people

As always I am here if anyone need me.  We can get through this TOGETHER, all of us

Just take it a day at a time

 

Brenda

 

Quote From: jodibrown

Sometimes hope is all there is. mother of 5 . I'm 4o years .I've had anoexia for over 23 years. When you loose hopeit's not ok I know that every pound feels  like 100. Even when the smart part of yourself tells you different. I sometimes think I'd rather just be completely crazy that way I wouldn't know things were so wrong. You have made it this far this is no time to give up hope you can do this. Just know that someone who doesn't even know you believes in you. Have a great day. Jodi

Quote From: my2angels0204

 i'm new to this dr phil website so like dodger i'll introduce myself.. i'm Jennifer and i'm 28yr old married white female and mother of 2 children ages 2 and 4.  I have been a pretty big gurl throughout my teenage years into my mid 20's i started loosing weight unintenually last summer and manage to loose 80lbs. test after test nothing then finally a blood test taken i learned i had a stomach parisite called Hpylori I was treated the first time thought it was successful but then i started to loose weight again i was treated a second time and then my weight stablelized. I'm again beginnig to loose weight not intenually and i've lost another 20lbs since the fall of 2006. I'm not sure if it's an underlying anorexia condition or it could be my low calorie diet and excerise taking my daughter to and from school 40mins a day 5 days a week. I've felt a bit sadden with the amount of stress that's been goin gon with family and friends and my 2 gurls constantly fight it never seems they get a long. can anyone give me any suggestions as to wha could be going on. my doc has never told me i'm depressed but i do have a bit of aneixty disorder i know this blog probably sounds a little messed up but can someone give me a little help here since my dr thinks it's all anexity i think it's something else??

Quote From: shortcomings

Dear Brenda;

I'm not trying to minimize your problem,  as it was a problem w/me as well.

There is a point in which you need to take control of your problem,  as yes,  there needs to be a mouring process as well-I had to endure that myself in the recovery process.

It was hard,  but I am happy I did so,  and have taken charge of my life and my decisions.

But from the recovery process,  I have been able to distance myself from the people that happened to push me into the situation.

Sorry if I came across as 'cold'  but you will feel much better taking control of your own 'choices' and making your own decisions about recovery.