Messages By: draven

Dr. Phil,

How can you put so much time and effort into Sarah, her drug addiction and the mental and physical problems that go along with it with Tecoa in the house with her???? Tecoa admittedly took heroin while she was pregnant so she has no real concern for her baby and you have her in a house with Sarah, when Sarah is 'trying' to get straght? It seems to me tnat you have an explosive group over there in that house! I have no experience with herion, but know a few people that do and one of the people told me is to never believe an addict when they are trying to get 'cool'. NEVER! Good luck, Dr. Phil, with this one ... I wouldn't trade places with you for love nor money! And if it is worth it, good luck to Sarah and Tecoa with the monkey on their back! I think this one needs a check in a year to see whats up! ALSO, I would like to know about the biological father. That might shed some light on the whole situation.

God bless and good luck!

Cathy from Ohio

These are such beautiful young girls.  It breaks my heart to see them in this shape.  I truly hope they are able to break this addiction and Dr. Phil and his staff can get them some real help.  The photos of them when they were young were so gorgeous and to see what the drugs have done to them physically and mentally is hard to watch.

This mother is too passive.  She has not been a good role model for these girls.  The part about the father not being in their life as a major reason for their demise isn't a good enough reason to me for this.  I know we all deal with pain differently.........but I will not let another person's actions destroy my life that I value.  Maybe that is the problem, noone ever taught them they were worth something.  I grew up fatherless and it has done the opposite for me.  It has made me strong and determined. 

I hold to that saying: When life gives you lemons.....

I realized that God has a plan for us all.  I hope they realize they are in God's plan.  Sometimes he puts us on a path for a reason that we cannot see at the time.  God is my Father, he will never desert me...or these twins. 

I will keep praying for these girls and their mother.  I hope their family finds the strength it needs.  When you find yourself down and desperate...the best place is your knees.

this is so extremely sad! That baby should be taken from tacoa, if not i feel very sad that child didn't deserve a mother like that and getting clean or gotten clean she still did herion while pregnant and she should be put in jail for child abuse. I have family members that remind me of them and everybody chooses their route in life! no one made them be crack whores. for normal people though theres a line you don't cross which includes being a prostitute anyone as a normal person wouldn't be able to rationalize that so maybe the drugs have really fried there brains. Poor mother what the hell did she miss????

I was an oxycontin, heroin addict for 4 yrs and have now been clean for 3. I'm currently in a methadone program and have been tapering for about a yr. The reason that most people have negative opinions about methadone, and refer to it as a 'crutch' is because they're uneducated on methadone. Methadone and the counseling required while in such a program is much more than a crutch. It saved my life as well as my child's life. I was 3 months pregnant and using opiates every day when the first person suggested methadone and I laughed at them and had similar opinions until I was educated. I started the program when I was 5 months along (I would definetely suggest doing it much sooner!!) and thanks to methadone I have a healthy 3 yr old little boy who is perfect in every way and he has a healthy mom and everything he could ever ask for, most of all, my love and attention. I honestly believe that without methadone, I would have miscarried or lost my child to the state. I think that in making statements such as "methadone is just a crutch" you are discouraging people who  could better themselves and their lives. I don't think that you should make such comments without being properly educated on what you're speaking about. Methadone actually assists in repairing damaged brain cells caused by drug abuse. It is a proven fact that addicts nearly double their chances of remaining clean with a methadone program than without. I speak from first hand experience. I went from a junkie who lived in a car, stole anything that wasn't glued down, lied to everyone I knew (including myself) and refused to talk to my family to a loving mother and wife who works with children and families with disabilities and who only gets high on life. Thank you methadone, thank you family for your support, and most of all thank you God for not judging and always  believing in second chances. And to the person who called methadone a crutch, please educate yourself.

I had a dear friend (and I pray she is still alive today!) who was doing a LOT of cocaine during her pregnancy.  She wanted help so she went to a support group.  I think she was about six months pregnant, and instead of these other women supporting her, they judged her.  They did nothing but insult her and yell at her.  I wish I had gone with her because I was so very proud that she had taken that first step.  Unfortunately, the place she thought would be safe and supportive was exactly the opposite, and I would have given each and every one of those women a piece of my mind.  When somebody is out there, desperate for whatever help they can get, they should not be judged.  They should be accepted with open arms, especially when the the place they go to for help is specifically a support group designed for people with the same problem.

Needless to say, my friend never went back.  She continued to do drugs throughout her pregnancies.  The last I knew she had had at least 7 abortions and 3 children.  I haven't heard from her for about 11 years.  I can only pray that she and her children are okay and have received the help that they all need.  Please try to keep an open mind.  Addicts find it very difficult to even accept that they are addicts, much less going out on their own to find a support group to help them recover.  So let's all try to give these girls a little credit.  They are at the house; they are attempting to get clean.  If I could, I'd fly out there and sit up all night just to hold Sarah while she trembles and cries, just so that she can know that people care about her and want her to succeed.  Have a heart!!!

My heart goes out to the unborn child that the one twin is carrying.  It saddens and angers me that she should be allowed to harm that baby as she is doing.  This child will no doubt be born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and drug addiction.  Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and Fetal Alcohol Effect (FAE) are the ONLY birth defects that can be totally prevented.  My husband and I have done a lot of research on the subject while we were taking classes to prepare us for High Risk foster care. 

My husband and I adopted the first high risk child that we cared for.  He came to us at 5 months old with FAS and drug addiction.  We were told that he had FAS but really didn't know how involved he actually was.  He is autistic, ADHD, has mild CP, microcephally, brain atrophy, left side hemiperisis, dysphagia, g-tube, apraxia, and global developmental delays with his speech being the most affected. (This is only a partial list)  He is 17yrs old now and functions at approximately 3-4 yrs of age.

Our son has many problems, is on several medications to help him control his behaviors and aggressions.   He will never be able to care for himself and with his aggressions and strength, his dad and I won't be able to keep him with us for long.   We have never had respite care for him and he has been with us except for his hospitalizations.  (we do have 3 older boys who have helped out when they could) I am out of my mind with worry over where he will live or who will care for him when we no longer can.  Anyone could take advantage of him and he wouldn't understand. 

Just thinking of the life that poor baby might live just breaks my heart.  I wish there were some way to make these girls care about what they are doing to their unborn children.  I can only pray.

Dr. Phil,

Please arrange a 3D ultrasound for Tacoa to give her a sense of reality about the baby.  I had one done when I was pregnant with my child and it made real that fact that I had a baby growing in my womb.  For a woman going through the first pregnancy, it can be a little surreal.  Having a 3D ultrasound allowed me to see the face of my unborn child (and he actually looked exactly like the ultrasound when he was born). 

I think this may help Tacoa in her decision making (to drink or not to drink, to do heroin or not to do heroin, maybe even to smoke or not to smoke) if she can put a face with the bulge in her belly. 

Thanks for the shows.  I learn so much!