Messages By: iamvip

I don't think it's fair for Phil to involve the other couples with each other's problems.  this is no place to point fingers, especially since THEY ALL have f'd  up marriages and lives.

AND, I get so tired of people coming down on strippers!  Who cares?  Obviously these babes make more money than their education and experience could ever provide for them.  Instead of downing them, how about offering some more positive advice about earning money another way?  Fortunately, many of us have enough [skill, education, experience, wealth, family/friend support,etc] that we never have to consider stripping.  But, making hundreds of dollars per night certainly sounds much better than making a hundred dollars per week flipping burgers. 

Truth is, until your back is against the wall, you don't know what you will do. 

And, why can't the husband work?  Obviously stripping is the best way he can think of to support his family so don't come on Dr Phil acting like you got a big problem with it!  didn't they meet in the strip bar?  he's pretty cute too!  Why isn't he stripping?

And are any of these marriages worth saving?  How can these people still want to be with each other?  In my house, my mantra is "I'm the the maid, the slave or the chef!"  my #2 mantra is "I matter too!"  What's wrong with these women????

Having an affairs is not a mistake - - it's a choice!  The husband does not seem remorseful at all!  He is only sorry that he got caught.  Ladies, what's up with loving the losers?  This guy made a choice to have an affair with the sister and the wife still thinks he is still a prize?  I think the choice he made with the sister shows a complete lack of respect for the wife and intentional infliction of deep pain.  He knew and understood beforehand how deeply this affair, especially this affair would hurt and he chose to and (in my opinion), intended to cause his wife deep emotional distress.  He does not give a damn about his wife and she better wake up and smell the coffee before she wakes up with some disease he brings home from one of his other skanks.  And, this guy doesn't really want to be married, he like all the men like him, like the conveniences of being married or in a relationship - -  the cooking and the cleaning, the free laundry service, the comfortable home, the stability of having a reliable person handling things at home.  That's why they keep coming back  - - not love.

Wake up ladies!  Learn how to take care of yourself and love yourself more than you love some idiot who sh**ts on you day and night.  The only person you can change is yourself.  I get so tired of hearing about women who take back the same DUMMY over and over again.  What's so great about being with a guy who treats you like crap?  What is there to hope for except more crap? My grandmother use to say "sh**t in one hand and hope/wish in the other and see which one gets full first!"  

I've got a couple of friends like this, and after years of hearing about the same things over and over, I have a hard time feeling sorry for them!

LEAVE!

that lady is ruining her daughter's life!!  All I can say to the daughter is to stand up for yourself!  You are not a dog and nobody should be whistling for you to "come."  I know that is is hard for a minor to stand up against a parent/guardian, but honey, you just hang in there.  For any child to say they were better off in a foster home, - - now that's bad.

That mom is sick, physically and mentally and just plain mean.  Get off you fat ass and do each and everything you can do for yourself.   And, those things you cannot do, you need to reach out to social services in your area to get assistance from a professional, not your child! It is nobody's job to empty your slop jar.

I understand and believe in the whole food addiction theory.  But meanness, now, well that's just bad!  There are apparently only 2 aspects of the mom's life that she has control over, her daughter and eating - -and she abuses both!

Babe,

Sounds like you are on the right track - -taking are of yourself!  Sometimes  right now is not the time to involve yourself in any romantic relationship.  Sometimes, we need to focus on only ourselves.  Don't go back to either of them.  Date yourself.  Discover yourself. 

Take some time to get to know you and what you like.  Sometimes, we women get so caught up in the likes and needs of others that we neglect ourselves and lose ourselves!

I guarantee you that given the right amount of time and effort [of focusing on you and your children only, if you have them], you will get to a place of knowing exactly what you need in a relationship.    And, if you do it right, you will hopefully find that you are capable of supporting yourself in every way, so that you won't go out looking for that "missing link" in a man.  Your "whole" self will start seeking out a "whole" man as a partner. 

Only needy men want needy women and this can only need to a disastrous relationship.  So when you get focused and get strong, your strength and intelligence [your Queen-ness] will be apparent to everyone around you.  Those losers will sense right off the rip that they don't stand a chance and get lost!  Both your exes will either have to rise to the occasion or get lost.  One or both of them may not like the new confident you and try to put you down or make things harder through this process.  Ignore them.  Anybody who is not please to see you develop and grow and raise your standards is not worthy of your friendship.

Keep you head up!

Wow!  What a sad story.  I never been in an abusive situation but have plenty of friends who have.  I don't pretend to understand why they stay, except for extremely low self esteem.  What I can say to this lady and others in similar situations, if you can't leave for yourself, leave for your children.  What's happening in your home is poison to your kids and ruinous to their future.  Do you want your sons to grow up believing this is how to keep a woman?  Do you want your daughters to live through this hell?  By staying, you are setting the stage for this exact situation to happen to your kids.  You are teaching them that all this nonsense is normal.  You are destroying their chances for peace and happiness.  They deserve better!

Look into your children's eyes and SEE their fear, LEAVE FOR THAT.  GO TO A SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. 

And, please start teaching your daughters how to stand on their own two feet and make their own money - - knowledge is power!  No one can hold you hostage when you know and  BELIEVE that you can make it on your own.  Weak men seek out weak women.  Abusive men seek women they know they can control. 

I've met men who have tried to overpower and manipulate me, and I don't make excuses for them ("he's just having a bad day").  I simply say, "this is not how I'm use to being treated and you do not need to call me anymore.  I'm not the one!"  and you know what, they don't call anymore because I'm not the type of woman they want.  They know right up front that they cannot and will not walk a dog on my back.  My point is, you get a sense of a person at the beginning of a relationship - - don't accept bullshit in the beginning and you won't get bullshit in the end.  You might not wind up with that man, but who wants and idiot, and/or a black eye?

LOOK AT THE FEAR IN YOUR CHILDREN'S EYES AND LEAVE FOR THEM!  DON'T RUIN YOUR KIDS CHANCE FOR PEACE AND HAPPINESS BY STAYING WITH A FOOL.  I UNDERSTAND THAT IF SOMEONE IS THREATENING YOUR LIFE, THAT YOU ARE AFRAID, BUT ISN'T HE, OR HASN'T HE ALREADY KILLED YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR SOUL?  SEEK HELP AT A BATTERED WOMENS SHELTER, GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AND GET YOUR OWN GUN!

All I want to know is  - when is Dr. Phil is going to get on with it!!!  Speak to her like she's your daughter and tell her what a big dummy she is being and to leave that creep.  Joking about killing your wife and burying her in cement is something that has apparently crossed his mind. 

Apparently a man that you need to be CONVINCED to stay with is not such a great catch!!!!  Grow up and stop playing the victim!  Take care of yourself and forget that fool.

The best friend needs to butt out and focus on getting her own life together so that she can at least afford her own home! 

This show and all others about DUMMIES make me sick!  'He's abusive, he threatens to kill me, I gonna get a restraining order, I'm so afraid, - - I think I'll call him over for some hot sex!'

I've only been afraid of one man in my life.  He thought he was going to stalk me and I was afraid because he started following me, etc.  I got a gun, I called his family, my family and the police and let them all know, that if something happened to me, something was going to happen to him too!  And, that was the end of that foolishness.   Stand up for yourself and stop being a doormat!

The purpuse of this board is to express one's opinion and thereby, to JUDGE!!!!!

I bet Lacy Peterson's family would have like to know in advance that Scott was thinking abour killing her.  I bet they wished they had the opportunity to say "run, girl run!"

I love that and plan to use it at the first opportunity!