Messages By: iamvip

It's easy to say just take the high ground, Dr. Phil, but sometimes folks will push you over the edge!  And, sometimes you have to stand up to bullies or continue to be bullied.

How about some psych counseling for that crazy broad.  She even LOOKS crazy.  Clearly this has become a game for her, she's addicted to it and can't stop!

I love my neighbors!

Once again, we have yet another woman trying to convince herself to stay with an abusive jerk!  What's the point?  Once again I'll say, Ladies, get your own money and learn how to take care of yourself and any children you may produce! 

I get so tired of women waiting to be "chosen."  You have a choice too!  A choice to be with someone who loves and respects you and knows how to "agree to disagree" without violence and brutality both physically and mentally.

I consider myself "the prize"!  I"LL choose who is worthy of my time and energy.  I wouldn't sit back and wait to get "selected" by some jerk.

I think this whole situation is sickening.  To me, the ex is obviously jealous.  I say this because she keeps bringing up his wealth and belongings.  she should have considered her lifestyle before she had an affair.

Her daughter that she says has all these issues with the new wife is old enough to be told  "you'll have to work this out with your dad."  That's what I do.  If my 16 year daughter does not want to leave with her father, spend time, stay overnight, etc.   SHE'S the one that has to call him and work it out not me!  As Dr. Phil says, there is a way to be divorced and get thru things with minimal contact with the ex.

When my daughter was younger, she was packed and ready and out the door as soon as her father pulled up.  He learned that if he was late and didn't call, there was a possibility that we would not be there.  He learned that he couldn't rely on me to tell my daughter  "your dad can't make it."  Because I ALWAYS put her on the phone to talk to him.  HE learned that if he wanted a relationship with his daughter, that he was responsible for fostering and maintaining it.

I never questioned my daughter about her time with her dad or his women.  As long as my daughter came home happy and healthy and safe, I was cool.  He understood this.

He was a dog and a cheat when we were together and when I made up my mind to leave, I knew that I was better off without him.  I never looked back.  I don't care about his life, I'm not curious about his new wife, etc.  I HAVE A LIFE.  Perhaps Keri needs to get one too!

And if she can't afford her kids and the dad has so much, let them go live with the dad and let him support them.  She is just trying to stay in his life AND his money.  MOVE ON.

I think these folks have gotten addicted to conflict and drama and don't know how to let go of it!

Maybe this will help:

I have a cousin who for some reason had a (unkown to me) problem with me.  She didn't just want to be mad and tell me off.  She wanted a huge blowup with fireworks.  She tried and tried to engage me.  When she finally reached me (after leaving severl nasty messages) she thought it was "on." She started her ranting  I would simply say  "I love  you."  She'd go on with her rant, and whenever she took a break I'd say "I love you."  Finally, after about 30 " I love yous - she loudly sighed and hung up on me!

I never  found out what the problem truly was ( some he-say she-say stuff, but considering this is a person I rarely even see - maybe once per year- or think about - I can't even imagine what anyone might have told her I said), but I've never had a problem with her since.  I do know her to be a person that is often getting into arguments with people and sometimes physical fights.  And you know what, these fights are always with the same people over and over- - the people that DO engage and argue with her and try to make a point!  Let it go!

Sometimes LOVE WORKS!

Clearly this babe is no longer in love with him and just can't admit it.  She's racked with guilt over not loving him any more.

Sometimes, in a relationship, there's just too much water under the bridge and you just CAN"T go back to those old feelings.  I don't think Dr. Phil should be sitting there encouraging this woman to stay in a loveless relationship.  Is that fair? 

I know what it feels like to be ignored by your partner for so longer, that you don't even want his touch, time, or attention anymore.  When you prefer that he sleeps in another room.  To live like roommates.

 I read Mitch's book several years ago and I believe that our relationships are the most valuable things in life.  However,  is it worth it when everyday you wake up asking - - can I go another day without being touched?  My whole life without a kiss...without holding hands?  I know I can't.

Every time is see that attorney "preachin" about yet ANOTHER issue, and being an authority on yet ANOTHER cause, I get the feeling that perhaps her true calling was to be on TV.

Wait until one of her sons is falsely accused of fathering a child and then has to pay child support for years.  Will she feel the same way then? 

As women, we have a RESPONSIBILITY to teach our children about truth and that starts with being truthful about paternity no matter how it impacts our ( we, the mother's) life.  If you tell the truth from day one, at least the child knows who his/her father is from day one!    At least, that's one thing they don't have to think about and worry about their whole lifes.  No matter how that father treats them, whether he accepts them wholeheartedly or whether he totaaly neglects them, they have a right to know who he truley is.  And, the man has a right to NOT have his life turned upside down 10-15 years later when the child comes knocking on the door.

I don't care how long a man has supported the child, I don't think he should have to pay the support.  He should have the option of making voluntary  care payments if he so chooses.  But find the real dad, and sue him.  and, I then the mom should have to pay back that money.

Ladies, is it so hard to not have so many sexual partners that you don't know who the father of your child is? 

I must admit I am having a hard time feeling sorry for Heather.  She seems like an immature attention  seeker who is addicted to attention in whatever form she can get it.

What's so hard about leaving?  The man keeps trying to get away from her all the time.  She knows he is capable of slapping her around, yet she continues to wlak directly into those fist again and again.  If he says leave him alone -  THEN LEAVE HIM ALONE!  What's so hard about that.  MOVE.  Get A restraining order.  Get a gun!

Guess what Heather, you are raising a daughter that will up expeecting to get the **** beat out of her all the time too!  Think of who the REAL victim is - your daughter.

What are they both there for?  There is no love between them and clearly he feels like she ruined his life by having the baby ( I guess he feels he had no part in the pregnancy!).

If you need a thrill, go ride a roller coaster, don't destroy your daughter's life.  Where are the grandparents?  somebody needs to take that baby!!!

He's got you right where he wants you  - - believing that you can't make it without him.  Get the phone book out  and look for help.  There should be a legal aid serivce in your area to help with legal fees and you can get a job.  Two of your kids should be in school and since your income is non-existent youshould be able to get child care based on that.  Don't make excuses!  Go to a shelter.  Believe in yourself.  Stop being a victim.  Go to a shelter, they will help you put your life back together in a way you can manage.

WE CAN ALL MAKE IT!

That boy did appear to be a liar, all fidgety and all.

I will say this to all people in this and similar positions, just hold yourself to a higher standard!  If you are a teacher, you shoudn't be writing encoded messages to students.  I do think there was a flirtation that went on that went too far.  Maybe she hurt the boys'  feelings after she didn't put out.

When I was in high school 20 years ago , our school hired an assistant football coach that was super FINE!  Let me tell you!  And the ladies (not me, I was too shy back then to barely speak to anyone!) relentlessly through themselves after him ALL THE TIME.  After I graduated, I heard he had gotten in trouble for having a relationship with one of those girls.  but gosh, he has barely older than we were and the girls were just throwin' it at him.  I remember him blushing and getting embarrassed about it.

But would your 22-23 year old son have enough sense to turn those girls in for sexual harrassment?  Would anybody have believed him?  I think the better answer would be - -Would anybody have done anything about it?  Probably not.  Especially back then.  Those girls would have been given a warning, if that.  the asst coach probably would have been accused of not being able to handle the pressures of the job.  I don't recall if he taught in classes. 

Just like the professinal athletes and celebs, stop putting yourself out there!  You know folks are out there to exploit you and get what they can get!  So just have higher standards than to do suspect things that are subject to various and devastating interpretations!