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Messages By: ktjktjktj

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April 5, 2008, 4:14 pm PDT

A Double Standard

On the cover of every issue of Cosmo you'll see listings like "Tips and Tricks to Get the Guy of Your Dreams".  It  would seem that it's perfectly fine for women to learn techniques to get what they want from a relationship, but wrong for men to do it.  This is just another example of "Dr." Phil's man-bashing to pander to his demographic.
 
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April 6, 2008, 12:37 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Dr. Phil himself has endorsed techniques for winning the affections of the opposite sex.  Eye contact and appropriate touch, for example.  Furthermore, this episode seems to be mixing and confusing separate issues:  men who use women to gain their money, and men who simply want to learn how to attract the women they like.  I think this confusing of topics is a deliberate attempt to generate dislike towards some of the guests who would otherwise be likeable.
 
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April 7, 2008, 7:54 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: lady_tinou

This topic did hit a nerve with you. If the hat fits, wear it. Dr. Phil is not doing any man bashing to my knowledge. He is just telling the things the way they are

MOST OF THE TIME when women seek for tips on how to get a man ( and yes there are the other kind of women out-there "the gold-diggers" but they are not the majority) they are looking for their sole-mate, a man that they can trust, with whom they can build a compatible and a solid relationship and maybe have a family eventually.

However, MOST OF THE TIME when men are looking for tips on how to get a woman (yes, there are lots of good men out there and I must say that in general they do not need those tips) it is to play them, have a one night stand, to add another trophy to their address book or even worse to just have fun with them. They have no regards for the woman's feelings.

In any case, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND, these people who like to play and manipulate (man or women regardless of their gender) will eventually get what they deserve.

No... it is not wrong for men to look for tips on how to attract women when it is for the right reasons. It's just that very often when men do it, it is for the wrong reasons!!!

A Canadian viewer.
MOST OF THE TIME when men are looking for tips on how to get a woman its because they are tired of being told "Let's just be friends."  These are the nice guys that women claim to want, yet reject at every opportunity.
 
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April 8, 2008, 9:31 pm PDT

Good point, lets apply it.

Quote From: rainpainrain

It might be helpful to you if you didn't speak as if all women think and act exactly the same way.  Believe it or not, women are individuals. Boobs? Yes. Vaginas? Yes. The exact same minds and personalities? NO!

If you are getting the same reaction from EVERY woman maybe it's time to check out the common denominator...you...not "women"....
You make a very good point.  If a man finds that women react badly to him, he may want to consider doing something different.  The question is "what?".  That's what these men teach.  Should they be vilanized for teaching it?
 
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April 8, 2008, 11:53 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: rainpainrain

Villainized? No...but it's gross. The class described above is about seducing beautiful women...that is gross. It's about manipulating another human being in order to get something out of them that you couldn't get HONESTLY.
Many men are attracted to women with specific qualities and apperances just as many women are attracted to men with specific qualities and apperances.  I don't think that's gross.  Humans choose mates for various reasons just as all creatures do.  Ask different men what they consider attractive and you will get different answers.  I don't think that doing what women already respond to could be considered manipulation.  Avoiding boring topics of conversation, standing with good posture, and making eye contact is not manipulative, but some people just need to be shown the right way to do it.  As for getting something that you couldn't get honestly we would also have to include contact lenses, hair coloring, diet, exercise, and general good grooming as dishonest techniques for both men and women.
 
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April 9, 2008, 2:42 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: rainpainrain

Manipulating a woman because you want to get into her panties is gross.  I think it's just fine to like people who look a certain way, but from what I have read on the description of this show this is about MORE than that. This is about making yourself appear to have a different PERSONALITY and CHARACTER in order to seduce a woman, in order to get her into bed. THAT is gross.

And the last part of your post shows exactly WHY these superficial qualities are SUPERFICIAL. It's just like polishing dog crap...you can look good on the outside EASILY. All it takes is a little buff up. Your personality is harder to shine up. If you lie about the things you LIKE to talk about, if you lie about the way you NORMALLY are as a person for the simple reason of getting into someone panties, that is GROSS.

If you want to change as a person change for yourself, at trite as that sounds, there is wisdom in it. People don't want to have others put on an elaborate character changing, personality changing act just to get their loins lubed.
Wanting sex is not gross.  Men want certain things in a relationship, just as women want certain things.  The only reason that any of us are here right now is because at some point someone wanted sex.  The only reason that men take women out on dates, buy them flowers, etc. is to get them into bed, is that also manipulation, or are these "romatic" gestures encouraged?

For some men their natural inclination is to talk about Rubik's Cubes and Star Trek.  If they find that this does not work well should they accept their fate or should they do something different?

Many people, both men and women, improve themselves to become more attractive to the opposite sex.  There is nothing wrong with that.
 
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April 10, 2008, 11:00 am PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

You know, if a woman did this, she'd be called a prostitute- trading sex, or the promise of it for money and assets.  Really, they're not even lying to get into their panties, they just want someone else's $ and if they happen to get laid in the process, hey, it's icing on the cake.  That's just awful, it's basically manipulative theft.

I thinks it's again necessary to untangle two different issues that have become blurred in this episode.  Issue 1:  men who con women out of money.  I think we all agree that's bad.  Issue 2: men who make an effort to attract the women they like and the men who teach them how it's done.  I don't see a problem there.
 

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