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Messages By: lexusgs42

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Worried

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frustrated
January 9, 2007, 5:36 pm PST

HOPE FOR 42

       Im 42 and shes 49,

I want it all the time and she seems to be able to go on with out it.

she can get sexy when she goes out with her riends but if i dont

mention sex we pobably wouldnt do it.Some times i feel that i should

give up .i dont want to ruin our relationship but im so frustrated because

i feel that she should approach me sometimes.is the man supposed to initiate sex every time?

or is it that shes just not interested in me anymore and shes not telling me?

 
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Worried

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blank
January 9, 2007, 5:50 pm PST

My Good Friend

   Ive found out that being a good friend is based upon how i treat myself.

As i learn to get to know myself i focus on the good in myself and others.The better i feel about myself the better i feel about others.I think that im a ok guy and i believe that accepting who i am and  making a commitment to being understanding and positive ,ill attract what i project.

 
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Worried

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hopeful
January 9, 2007, 6:07 pm PST

A Colorful Experience

  I always thought that it would be no problem as long as two people cared for one another but as i go into my seventh year of a interracial relationship i see that there are unfortunately some strings attached.We dont live in a perfect world and i think that speaks for itself. We are constantly influenced by things that we come into contact with everyday and there are an infinite amount of opinions.It can be difficult to stay focused on building a lasting relationship when were reminded that we are different and to some, it is unacceptable.There is only one race and thats the human race.
 
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Worried

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blank
January 10, 2007, 2:14 pm PST

straight

Quote From: spiderman2

Hi
My mom thinks my dad is a homosexual. She is really depressed and I don't know what to do. She is ashamed that she chose him and depressed that he never really loved her. Any advice on what she should do? My dad denies it and says she is wrong.

i believe that hes telling the truth,ive had unusual thoughts before.

maybe  his openess is too much for your mom .i think they should talk about things and deside ihow things will change ,whether it keeps them together or seperates them.

 
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Worried

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hopeful
January 10, 2007, 3:42 pm PST

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: mbkstep

I've learned if I keep doing what I think is right.....it works out.

 

May take time.

 

But it works out.

Thank you f or the positive input.

I just found out that i just lost the person who i thought was my best friend.Obviously my communication skills are lacking and i have a lot of work to do.  .

 
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quiet
January 10, 2007, 4:01 pm PST

reality

Quote From: italiank

My brother is going thru a very stressful time right now and I would like to be as helpful, supportive & encouraging as possible.  He has been married for nearly 25 years and has 2 daughters, ages 23 (she is married) & 21 (she's in college).  There have been communication problems between my brother & sister in law for years.  When they married, he was young (21) and "convinced" himself he loved her.  Over the years, as my brother puts it, they "exsisted".  There was never any meaningful communication (only general conversation about work, the house, kids etc.)  They didn't go anywhere together or do anything together.  Their sex life was few & far between.  They haven't told each other I love you or kissed in over 15 years.  Basically, because my brother is not a confrontational person, he ignored this for many years.  Right after Christmas, they had an arguement about a Christmas gift and she accused him of never listening to her.  It all hit the fan so to speak!! When he asked her if she loved him, she responded "well....I THINK so" and when she asked him the same question, his response was "I don't know".  He has told me on several occasions he doesn't love her however, he does care for her and doesn't want to hurt her. He has made the statement  about staying with her and "settling" (meaning he's not really happy).   While I haven't said this to him...my opinion is, after nearly 25 years of "marriage" if one party is saying "I THINK I love you" and the other is saying "I don't know".....there is obviously a problem!  While I do believe they care for each other....there is a huge difference in caring for someone & in loving someone.  I get the impression he feels obligated because he doesn't want to hurt her.  What can I do to help my brother? 

Thank you ,

i dont think that i could be with  someone whom i didnt love.In my situation im begining to question the true meaning. I hope that i never loose the will to love someone because of my failure to bring  happiness to the one who i love so much.At this point i feel more vurnerable than ever and its scary .I dont have anyone to talk to and the stress and anxiaty are overwhelming.Being in a failing relationship is bad but the stress of  failing interacial relationshifp makes things a bit more sensetive for me.After seeing that my obligatory behavior was making matters worse i had to let go of that guilt. If the one i love isnt in love with me ,she should be free to experince the joy that i cant give her.that would make me happy.

 
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Worried

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blank
January 13, 2007, 1:09 pm PST

Good Advise

Quote From: jksnyder

I know how you feel because thats what i go through sometimes. Im a woman i'm 20 and my b/f is 32. I am always wanting sex i get it and i still want it like 2 or 3 more times.. call me crazy but sometimes he doesn't want to have sex or complains if we have it too much. Gosh it bothers me. Then i wait and wait and wait and nothing he just doesn't approach me. i wear lingere and all that good stuff on occasion so it doesn't get old. Then i told him that i want him to approach me sometimes. we talked about it and our situation is pretty much resolved. Just be honest its the best thing for the relationship and if you want something dont be afraid to ask. I like to be pleased oraly and if your not doing it right just dont go their or just listen to what we want or ask, we dont want to offend anyone.  :) i hoped this has helped someone
Thank you for the advise. As i read the message boards,I never knew that there ae so many women that are having the same problem as i am.I guess im an exception to the rule as far as this problem goes.We havent had sex in about a month and i approached her with a bit of anxiaty and tried to explain that its not normal to go this long without sex,expecially for a couple.she explained that shes going through  a stressful period and i had to acknowledge it.She acknoledged me by relieving my tension with minimal participation ,it was satisfying but not good.I believe that she only did it because she felt pressured.I told her that if things didnt improve ,i wood seek the attention that  im not getting elsewhere.iI feel that if things dont get better soon,i will cheat.
 
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Worried

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blank
January 13, 2007, 1:13 pm PST

Good Advise

Quote From: jksnyder

I know how you feel because thats what i go through sometimes. Im a woman i'm 20 and my b/f is 32. I am always wanting sex i get it and i still want it like 2 or 3 more times.. call me crazy but sometimes he doesn't want to have sex or complains if we have it too much. Gosh it bothers me. Then i wait and wait and wait and nothing he just doesn't approach me. i wear lingere and all that good stuff on occasion so it doesn't get old. Then i told him that i want him to approach me sometimes. we talked about it and our situation is pretty much resolved. Just be honest its the best thing for the relationship and if you want something dont be afraid to ask. I like to be pleased oraly and if your not doing it right just dont go their or just listen to what we want or ask, we dont want to offend anyone.  :) i hoped this has helped someone
Thank you for the advise. As i read the message boards,I never knew that there ae so many women that are having the same problem as i am.I guess im an exception to the rule as far as this problem goes.We havent had sex in about a month and i approached her with a bit of anxiaty and tried to explain that its not normal to go this long without sex,expecially for a couple.she explained that shes going through  a stressful period and i had to acknowledge it.She acknoledged me by relieving my tension with minimal participation ,it was satisfying but not good.I believe that she only did it because she felt pressured.I told her that if things didnt improve ,i wood seek the attention that  im not getting elsewhere.iI feel that if things dont get better soon,i will cheat.
 
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Worried

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upset
February 12, 2007, 1:58 am PST

out of control

im just a bit confused so can someone please point me in the right direction,

ive been with a woman for six years and love her very much but it seems she dont feel love for me.we sleep in the same bed and dont talk to one another.we have dogs and the dogs get more love than i do,she s told the dogs that she loves them more times than she does me.as a matter of fact she dont tell me that she loves me unless she thinks tha she should.ishe always goes out without me and i find lingere and panties that ive never seen before all over the house.shes blaming menopause but i say bull.im tired of being rejected by her.

im thinking about getting the attention that i lack ,elsewhere.

 

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