Quote From: janefrancesHow do you discipline a teen to prevent them from abusing alchohol?? Am I overreacting and do teens need to 'experiment' ? my 13 yr daughter has shown an increasing interest in alchohol (we were just on hloiday and she kept asking for drinks and managed to get some older boys to buy her some) Just found out she and her friends are arranging to take alchohol to parties. and talking as if this a regular thing - "where are you getting yours from?" I found this out by see an MSN message on her phone so I shouldnt have been prying?? How can I talk to her without her shutting down on me for not trusting her. She has always been a sensible girl. They are going to a party tomorrow where they are arranging to do this- should I just turn up and catch them, should I make sure she comes back after the party and smelll her breath, I have tried talking and she just gets abusive. My husband and I have given her a lot of freedom allowing her to stay at friends at the weekend and we always feel she comes back with an attitude - should we reduce this freedom?? How do you draw the boundaries without creating a teenager determined to break them, and retain their love and respect. I truly fear for my daughter and despair at her motives for needing alchohol - she is a bright and beautiful girl. Am I being over reactive and is this just something that will pass....?? Is the only way to remove peer pressure to remove the peers.
No teens do not need to "experiment". Yes they of course will try and do it behind your back cause there teens and they think its cool. Do not assume this will pass, and of course she will get angry cause you are going to stop her fun. But don't let that stop you from protecting your daughter from herself. If she does it behind your back without ever knowing then there is nothing you can do about that. But you did find out and you do know. I wouldn't let her go to that party she is only 13 and if she gets mad at you for looking through her phone tough you pay the bills you pay her way her life is owned by you. I know thats kind of a strict out look on this. But really it will cut her down on doing things like this. And teens always try and break the rules, if grounding doesn't work then take away items like the cell phone, and inform her if she doesn't straighten up with this drinking she may have to wait until she is 18 before she can drive. And don't make idel threats keep to your word. Take away her phone if this continues, or her TV or her computer. Dont be afraid cause the end result you want is a healthy 18 year old that is responsible.
I tried to do alot of that growing up. And I did start drinking at a young, the fact that I had to try and do it behind my parents back made it more unlikly I was going to do it. My parents did let me make the choice when I was 17 cause they felt at that age I should know better and I was less then a year away from being 18. My parents would of grounded me at 13 if they found a text message about a party with alcohol.
Good Luck
