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Messages By: xrk9854

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January 31, 2007, 10:44 am PST

We're Born This Way!

Quote From: enigma73008

The individual is born how they are born I agree, some people confuse the gay/lesbian issue with gender idenity which I think aren't even in the same ball park!  Gender identy seems to me to accompany "issues" that stem back from childhood that causes them to want to become the opposite of what they are to the extreme that the literally "butcher" the body God gave them.  There are studies out there that show that Gay people's brain scans are slightly different so that would explain them being born Gay.  So I think that basically I do agree with you, God didn't give you a body to mutilate it..... 
A study also proves that transgendered peoples brains more closely match the gender they identify with. We were born this way! (Yes I was born transsexual). Sorry I don't have the link to the study handy. Research in the next 10 years will prove beyond a doubt that transsexuality is a birth condition by determining the causative factors. It is not a choice! And saying it is is insulting to those of us who have suffered for decades (in my case) before fixing things. Gender and sex usually match, but that is not true for people born transsexual. I was born with a mismatch and it made life very confusing and painful for me as I tried to be what others wanted me to be. You who were born conguent, that is with the brain (gender) and body that match, and you take that for granted. You assume it's the same for everyone and it isn't. Earlier someone said God doesn't make junk. And they're right. God made me the way I am (a person born transsexual). Why would he do that? One reason I think is to test the rest of you, to see if you live up to his teachings of loving others. Ask yourself why you have no problem with other people correcting their birth conditions, but you want me to continue to suffer, living a life that's all wrong for me. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I was born this way. I'm just a normal person with an extraordinary problem. One that I'm in the process of correcting, so I can be just like you: congruent, that is a person who's insides and outsides match. We only want to be whole.
 
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October 29, 2008, 7:43 am PDT

You Are Mistaken

Quote From: mslisa158

you are so right. people are just letting the devil of this world get into their minds to make them think at a young age that they are something they are not. it is sad. very sad. i feel so sorry for these people.
People have been medically transitioning for more than 60 years! This isn't anything new. Sticking your fingers in your ears and loudly saying "Nah, nah, nah, nah" and hoping it goes away is just plain silly. For more than a century doctors tried EVERYTHING to "cure" transsexualism only to fail. They learned the hard way that the ONLT treatment that works is assisting the person to transition to their identified gender. Today there are more than 100,000 happy, well adjusted, post-operative transsexual people in North America. Transition works! I know I've been there, done that.

The problem is not the children. It's our societies lack of acceptance to the natural diversity of life. People are born with all kinds of birth conditions and this is just that, another birth condition. It has NOTHING to do with the devil. That's pure religious ignorance talking. Science has proven transsexuality exists. Read more here:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html

Religion has been used in the past against many scientific ideas:

Galileo was put under house arrest for teaching the Copernican theory.

The bible was used to support:

slavery

denying women the right to vote

against integration of the armed forces

against school integration

against inter-racial marriage


and much, much more. Judge not, lest ye be judged!
 
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October 29, 2008, 7:46 am PDT

Not Usually Useful

Quote From: rickeyterry

 Has anyone bothered to have these children geneticaly tested to see if they might be geneticaly female even though their anatomy suggests otherwise? I understand this sometimes happens, that they are born this way.
The vast majority of transgender and transsexual people have "normal" chromosomes. Only a small minority are intersex. You can r ead more, including scientific links, here:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html
 
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October 29, 2008, 8:01 am PDT

Yes! That's The Key

Quote From: taylorlpb

This may just be me but I say when they are kids let them be who they want to be, dont try to push them one way or the other. & when they get old enough to make their own decisions, such as hormones, support them what ever they want to do. It's their body, not anyone elses.

Listen to the children they know who they are! Many children to eventually accept their birth gender, but many do not. Of the ones who accept their birth gender some come out as gay later.

The usual course of treatment is to let the children be themselves. No medical intervention is required until puberty. Then puberty "blockers" can be started. Blockers do not change anything, they simply put things on hold, effectively buying the child, the parents and medical professionals more time.

Then later between 14 and 16 hormones may be started. The effects of hormones are mostly reversible.

The sometime after they turn 18 the patient may request surgery. NO SURGERY IS DONE ON CHILDREN. The patient must be of legal age.

The primary benefit of starting blockers at the onset of puberty are two-fold:

First, many children become so stressed about developing the wrong way they attempt, and sometimes succeed, suicide. It can be a living hell to watch your body betray you.

Second, it makes it much more likely that they will develop just like, and look just like, others of their identified gender. You literally cannot tell that they were once assigned a different sex at birth. This contrasts with those who transition later and usually have a number of "tells" that make them stand out. So by denying children treatment you may be dooming them to being less passable in their identified gender later. This is of great importance for those transitioning in the male-to-female direction.
 
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October 29, 2008, 8:09 am PDT

This Is A Possible Outcome For TG/TS People 2

Quote From: toolatemom

It is all confusing and I don't know that anyone has the answers.  I do think you need to be careful with kids so young.  Steer them the way they 'appear' to be lovingly and time will tell. 

 

I can say that I had a son we suspected as being gay but we were ignorant, condemned such things in front of him.  To make a long story short, he died at 36, having a great career, of a drug overdose.  Found he lived two lives.  The one for the person he really was and the other as a show of who he thought everyone thought he should be.  The drugs were from the pain he lived with and his parents were the cause of most of it.  We learned too late.  Why would anyone choose to 'want' to be gay.  I now understand and am active in a local PFLAG chapter.

Many will say the parents should force their child to conform. Doing so only causes the child to suppress their true natures and for them to construct an acceptable facade. Sooner or later the facade crumbles and the person:

Commits suicide,

Dies of the stress,

Lives an incredibly bitter life.

OR

They transition to a happier, more fulfilled life as their true self.
 
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October 29, 2008, 8:29 am PDT

Let Me See If I Can Help

Quote From: freakycat125

I find so many aspects of this subject absolutely confusing and illogical. I really have to admit I do not understand... despite the fact I have read about, and even know homosexual and transgender people. I hope no one will be offended if I ask a few questions.

 

1. What do clothes have to do with Gender? I mean clothing is cultural, and it varies in different countries and through out history. The early Roman men wore short skirt like garments... and sometimes the Greeks wore nothing at all... I am certain Jesus didn't own a pair of pants, because they weren't invented yet in his day. Bras, Pants, and underwear are basically modern inventions. Therefore it could not be a biological, instinctive or inborn need for someone male or female to wear women's underwear. Fruther natural born women do not wear dresses very often at all, Most women don't wear nearly as much make-up, or worry about their hair and clothing as much as trans gender people. Honestly most women don't dress that differently from men. So why is clothing so much of an issue with these confused gender people?

 

2. What difference does it make really what gender you are? I mean sexual preference sure, people like what they like I guess. I am a woman who is attracted to men, It would not occur to me to even think of being with a woman, so I suppose that if a man felt the same way for some reason, then it would be hard to change.... but gender for the sake of gender only... like wanting to be the opposite sex just because you feel like a man or a woman? What is the point of that? For example why would a man change his gender to female, and then be a lesbian? Why would he bother to change his gender... and apart from sexual preference, what difference does it make if you are male or female? WEll other than the difference in economic opportunities. It seems to me a man getting a sex change cuts his paycheck in half, and volunteers to recieve condesending attitudes, and descrimination... even if he successfully convinced people he was a real woman. Why would anyone want to be a woman if they were not born one?

 

3. Why do interests, toys and hobbies have to be gender specific? Plenty of little girls like to climb trees, and play with toy trucks. I remember in kindergarten they made the little girls play with dolls and the boys play with trucks. I used to take trucks away from little boys every time the teacher left the room, cause dolls got boring after a while. I don't think that made me a guy... I think assuming gender is based in toy preference makes any sense at all. Fruther I still think trading recipies, and a lot of other feme activities are boring. I don't think that makes me a guy either, just a woman who would rather be in a room full of men listening to them talk, than in a room full of women listening to them talk. On the other hand, some men like being around mostly women, and listening to them talk about clothes, and hair. Some men like to cook. That doesn't make them gay, or women... it might just  mean they like women a lot? Could I be right on this? How are toys and hobbies gender related anyway? People enjoy what they enjoy. Why can't people do whatever they want to do regardless of gender?  

 

4. What is wrong with just letting people wear what they want, and play with whatever toys they want, and just not attaching a gender to it? Trying to pass for the opposite sex is another matter, but if men just think our clothing is more intersting, why not make silk shirts in pastel colors for men, Women already enjoy the right to wear jeans, and slacks. Why not just have clothes, instead of women's clothes and men's clothes?

 

5. I've heard gender confused men say they felt like women... but how do they know what it feels like to be a woman in the first place. I actually asked a few, who described that feeling to me, and I can honestly say, I never felt that way in my life. I asked around to my female friends, and they don't feel that way either. It seems to me that women take their gender for granted, They don't go around singing, "I feel pretty." If  someone was to ask me how it feels to be a woman, I'd probably describe the pain of minstral cramps,  cause I figure that is the only thing I or any other woman feels that is any different from what a man feels.

 

6. If a person had a transgender operation, what are the odds of a straight, normal, hetherosexual person wanting to date them or marry them? How could they tell people they date that they are transexual without getting gay bashed? Is it really fair for them to try to pass as women, and pick up men, when in fact most men will only be repulsed when they find out, and it might even cause them to doubt their own masculinity?

 

7. Don't you think that all this talk about gay and transgender on TV causes more and more people to become gender confused? I have heard people say that young people need to consider their sexual preference... in my day we didnt' consider anything of the sort. It was just assumed, but a small precentage of people were still gay. I think if someone is gay they would know it without thought or discussion.

 

8. Being molested or raped brings on a lot of confusing, self loathing, and general distress. Is there any link between having gay sex, whether willingly or unwillingly before the age of concent, and being gender confused? Couldn't being forced or coerced into gay sex make a man think he is gay or transgender?

 

Again I am not trying to be offensive, these are just things I wonder about, and am afraid to ask people I know...could anyone explain any of this to me? 

1. It isn't about clothes. It's about being the person you feel yourself to be. 2. It makes a HUGE difference. Men and women, whether they like to admit it or not, treat each other different based on sex. So imagine yourself waking up tomorrow looking like the opposite gender and people treat you that way. It might sound like fun, but it would quickly turn to feeling like torture, you'd want to be seen as the sex you feel yourself to be. 3. Two reasons. First, by nature we come into the world with certain inclination. Second, because of biological society expects certain things from each sex. 4. That only works to a degree. men and women think differently, it's a biological fact. So a transgender child usually becomes an outcast because they don't think and act the way they are "supposed to". 5. Without pointing to your body how do you know you are female? You can't explain it, you just know. That's how it is for me as well, I just know. 6. Actually the odds are going up all the time as more and more people become educated about what transgender means. Also hormones and surgery can work miracles and the person can look just like their identified gender. 7. No. The reason more people are coming out now is because information is now available. When I was a child growing up in the boonies 35 years ago, no information was available. I had no idea that there was a reason I felt as I did. 8. That's a red herring, multiple studies have proven that idea wrong. I was never molested. I was never interested in being gay either. I came from a normal two parent household. I had nothing you might describe as a "risk factor" and yet I was transsexual. Hope this helps.
 
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October 30, 2008, 4:50 am PDT

You Are Mistaken

Quote From: catlover514

I can't believe this woman is giving her child hormone therapy because HE wants it.  What doctor in his or her right mind would even consider it before puberty?  OH MY GOD.  When do we stop messing with what God has made and stop trying to manipulate people.  Why doesn't this woman get in trouble for abusing her "rights" as a parent.  This child has been manipulated by a woman who wanted a girl. I agree with the parents who are PARENTS and not pawns for their kids whims.  Yes, this frustrated me because people have no morals or values anymore and we watch society turn to crap and we allow people to abuse everything without a second look at what they are doing to a child who will grow in to a messed up adult.  EGADS.
There are strict protocols for treatment. Puberty "blockers" may start at 12. Blockers do NOT change anything, they merely put development on hold.


Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may be started at age 16 per the Benjamin Standards of Care (SOC). The SOC m,ay be downloaded here:


http://www.WPATH.org


Changes from HRT are mostly reversible.


No surgery is done before age 18 when the child reaches legal age.


So stop being so shocked. Strict medical protocols are in place and are followed. Nobody transitions willy-nilly.
 
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October 30, 2008, 6:24 am PDT

"Common Sense" or Prejudice and Ignorance?

Quote From: mindilusmom

Dr. Phil,

I'm not a daytime TV watcher because I'm always working.  However, I was sick today and stayed at home and watched your show.  I was in disbelief of the mother promoting this behavior of a small child.  It is hard enough for children to deal with growing up with all the pressures of our society.  This child has a better knowledge of this "disorder" than most adults.  Mother Melissa you are teaching your child to be different and giving your son WAY TOO MUCH information to process.  I don't understand what you are trying to prove and I think you are causing the confusion.  As I was watching your home video I realized your were promoting and leading this behavior.  When I was a child my brother 7 years younger followed me around everywhere.  He would mock my actions such as shaving the legs, putting on a bra...my bra!  You are pushing your son into adulthood way before his time.  Let him be a child!  I have another life experience I want to share.  I have a distant relative who has had all the treatments to become a man.  We are about the same age and grew up in a small town where we all knew everyone and most were related in some way.  We were both "tomboys" playing the same sports never wearing dresses hated cleaning house but rather pull weeds in garden or drive a tractor.  I know this was a little easier for Wendy because we could do these things but as we grew up she realized she didn't like boys she liked girls.  This was horrifying for her "Cheerleader" mom but she was lucky she had a stepfather and grandparents who were supportive and nurturing.  They gave her guidelines and rules...lets complete this milestone in life before we make life altering decisions we may regret.  At the age of 30 Wendell completed all the treatments and was officially a male.  His parents and grandparents paid for everything and a few years later was married to my best friend Becky. 

Melissa, I think you are destroying your son's childhood and Tim, you are letting her do it!

 

I don't have a college degree under this roof to support this advice but I do have a "shingle" on my roof for "common sense". 

http://www.LynnConway.com

That website is jam packed full of FACTS and scientific evidence that back them up. And it's written in a very reader-friendly way.

The parent wasn't promoting anything, She was showing UNCONDITIONAL LOVE towards her child. You on the other hand would withhold your love? Maybe even punish a child because they don't live up to your expectations?

Transsexualism is a naturally occurring birth condition. People who are born transsexual, and they can be either male-to-female OR female-to-male, often KNOW who they are at an early age. Didn't you know who you were at an early age? The difference is your mind and body agreed with each other and so you were rewarded with love and acceptance from your parents and society. These children are born with a brain-body mismatch. As a result they don't act "the way they should" because their brain is of one gender and their body is the other. Science has proven that gender identity is inborn and unchangeable, therefore to live a full and happy life the body must be changed to fit the mind. This process is called transitioned and it is overwhelmingly successful. In fact it's one of the most successful medical treatments for any condition. How can you argue with a 98-99% success rate? You can't. You must educate yourself and accept that transsexualism is real and that it happens to real people.
 
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November 2, 2008, 12:36 pm PST

Shaming will not work!

Quote From: baluesunkist

This condition is considered to be psychiatric in nature and is listed as a disorder (gender identity disorder). I'm sure these facts are obvious to most people on the board, but for some reason they have been largely disregarded. If something is considered a "disorder", it is implied that there is something wrong that needs to be treated/corrected. I can't think of any other psychiatric disorder (or any other disorder, period) in which professionals encourage the afflicted person to just cave in to the disorder and refuse treatment because it's "it's okay to be different". Nowadays, homosexuality is no longer considered a disorder (by a large portion of the medical community anyway), but a reflection of a difference. However, the fact that G.I.D. is still considered a disorder rather than a difference should say something. 

Not to mention, the fact that gender identity disorder is specifically listed as a PSYCHIATRIC disorder rather than a combination neuro-psychiatric condition further supports this point. If G.I.D. is truly the result of a biological condition, why is it not listed as a neuropsychiatric disorder, which would imply a biological base (while also acknowledging the obvious presence of psychological symptoms)? Even so, it's important to know that few psychiatric disorders (relatively speaking) are considered to be completely biologically based; therefore, the argument that people are born with a mental conception of gender that differs from their actual sex is extremely flawed.

It's not that I lack empathy for what people with G.I.D. Obviously, it's rough for anyone to have a psychiatric disorder - especially a disorder that carries such a strong social stigma. However, I don't believe that G.I.D. is something that is completely incurable. I also believe that a lot of the time, there are other events that have taken place which directly caused the disorder (or exacerbated it) that parents might not want to discuss because every parent wants to accept their child. If a child has been abused, no parent wants to think, "Gosh, my child now has a screwed up sense of identity because of the abuse." Parents would rather believe that their child has a biological condition that nothing can be done about....and in a way, I can't blame them for wanting to believe that because I imagine it would alleviate a whole lot of guilt.

Nowadays especially, parents have a tendency to give children far more decision making power than is appropriate (in other words, kids are way too spoiled). I'm sorry, but an 8-year-old cannot make major life decisions. Just because a child really feels strongly about something does NOT mean that that child is right about it, or that what the child wants is in his or her best interest. It's up to the PARENTS to decide that. It's painful for any parent to see their child unhappy, but caving in to a child's requests just because you don't want to see your child unhappy in the short-term is a reflection of lazy, irresponsible parenting.
Trying to shame me or other transsexual people will NOT work. Anyone who knows anything about the field knows that we are in the process of getting transsexuality removed from the DSM. But these things take time. Also you should be careful when using the DSM to shame people because there are many common things in there. For example: Are you a shy person? If you are guess what? You're in the DSM as Social Anxiety Disorder. And there are many more. The DSM is not strictly about "mental illness". Nice try though!

Transsexuality is a naturally occurring birth condition. All research of the last 20 years supports this. The problem isn't the children, it's a society that stubbornly clings to old stereotypes and beliefs.
 
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November 2, 2008, 1:04 pm PST

Aren't You Listening?

Quote From: zookeeper1

tyler 1,

            I know you are not taking up for this police officer father.  He could have left the house at 18.  He could do what he wanted to do.  I'm sure he didn't get married at 18.  He had plenty of time to explore being a woman, instead of choosing to marry a woman and having kids.

I've read many of your posts and found most of them shockingly uninformed. People have attempted to educate you and you refuse to listen. What's the word for people who refuse to listen to reason and scientific evidence, who cling to prior beliefs not matter what. Oh yes, that word would be "prejudiced". You're mind is totally closed to any input, so why do you even try to claim different? Read and learn:

http://www.LynnConway.com

Tons of information there, including SCIENTIFIC links.
 

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