Messages By: tinhil2000

Quote From: waihini1

OMG! This subject is near to me and my home.

I too married the grand faker- he did all the "right things" when we met, dated, were engaged and the first year to almost 2 yrs we were married, then close to our 2nd anniversary, he warped into someone I didn't recognize. He became distant and cold towards me, all romance halted except for the sex, of course he still wanted that (back then anyway, not now). All the cards he sent, be it ecards or real ones stopped, he didn't want to take me on 3 vacations a year, but now it was down to ONE and it was always some place HE wanted to go, I had no say in it. I found various "clues" that pointed toward him cheating but never could really prove it totally, it was just an insidious feeling that hung in the air between us.

He has his own cell phone and got calls in the middle of the night, one time I got into his voice mail and found some female voice left a message that said, hey sexy, I miss you call me soon. I confronted him about this message and he claimed he had NO idea who that was and no he wasn't cheating, BUT from that time on he made damn sure he turned his phone off at night, hid it from me and if it was visible he deleted all the call history on it, so I didn't see who he was calling or who was calling him.

I have tried over and over to communicate with him about problems that I see we have, tried to get him to counseling with me too (he went one time then refused to go again as "he didn't have any problems and didn't need to go". Each time I tried to tell him of my unhappiness, he would turn things around on me, and make it sound like I was crazy or he would get mad and tell me he is going to divorce me. This has been going on now for almost THREE yrs. I cannot keep living like this, this man behaves like he hates me not loves me- he ignores me most of the time he is home, the other times he acts all nice nice so he can manipulate me into giving him sex once a month! I am not allowed to see my family and have to spend time with his family constantly- they come first in his life, always will and I am not considered part of this family unit, nor are my children or grandchildren by this man

All I can say to you is leave if you can as things will only get worse and you will only get more and more unhappy.

Quote From: magicrandi

I just wanted to say that there is no way we can understand the torment this man has been going through for 40 years.  This must of been a burden in his heart everyday.  I can understand the girls being "disgusted" and confused.  I really hope that doctor Phil, and the help that will follow, will really help them all to understand what each one is going through and why.  The main thing I hope the girls will realize, their Dad's heart and love for them is TOTALLY the same.  It may even be able to get stronger now because thier Dad feels better about himself.  It's hard to love others when you  don't love yourself.  I REALLY hope they can all move on and just concentrate on the love they have for eachother.  After all, that's REALLY all that matters in life.  Our love for others and a family's love is the  strongest and most supportive kind.  Please move forward and DON'T loose each other over this.

Quote From: joeactor

Amen to that.

 It would be poetic justice if ( God forbid ) the child needed a blood transfusion or organ donation and the only compatible doner was the father. I would love to see how the athorities that kept the father from his child would approach him in that case.

 If you're a father, you SHOULD have rights to your children and the children should have the right to be with their natural parents. As long as the parents have proven themselves worthy and have done nothing wrong, then to seperate the family is nothing but an injustice.

Quote From: jillyb71

Okay - a little history on me first.  I am 37 with a 17 year old son.  My husband of 17, nearly 18, years left me last September to be with his mistress, a woman 5 years older who worked for him.  We divorced in February and they have since gotten married.  I worked for my brother for a short time and it was there that I met my boyfriend.  He will be 22 in May which means he is 15 years younger than me, 4 years older than my son.  One of the things that attracted him to me is the fact that I do not look my age.  I am told on a nearly daily basis that I look like I am in my early 20s.  So when my boyfriend and I go out, it does not look like a cougar/cub thing, it just looks normal.  I was very hesitant to even think about seeing him as anything other than a friend but the more we hung out, the more we realized we really liked each other.  He treats me better than any other man I have ever been with which I realize isn't saying much since I was married to one man much of my adult life but I do know that how he treats me is very special and something I want to hold on to.  I don't see his age, I just see him.  He is someone who has made me happier than I have been in years, he makes me feel cherished and protected.  Who knows how long it will last but I am going to enjoy every second while it does. 

Quote From: 3boysrus

It is people like this that make this world a sad place to live.  People that go around thinking they are  so much better than everyone else and are beautiful need to take a long hard look in the mirror.  They may think people see beauty, but what  really is there is ugly.  I was always taught to never judge people for the way they look.  I have a genetic disease that has caused me to have disfiguring features.  It hurts on the inside to see the way people look and stare at me and I know what they are thinking.  But, I have my true family and friends that know me and do not care what is on the outside but what is on the inside and have told me they see me and don't even see my disfigurement.  You have to take what life gives you and I do not see what right anyone has to judge people because they got the raw end of the deal. There is the saying that "actions speak louder than words" well that can go for looks to.  You may be the most beautiful person in the world, but if you do not have the actions to go along with it then all the beauty in the world will not be able to hide the ugly.

Quote From: memphismaggie

 

 I am an avid fan of the Dr. Phil show. One of the main reasons is that Dr. Phil is so "normal", down-to-earth, and sensible. Common sense rules on the show and he never lets anything get out of hand. Unlike some other talk shows that have become like three-ring circuses of dysfunctional people going out of control for entertainment value, I've always looked on this show as one that addresses everyday, real problems that people can relate to and learn from.  Resorting to the paranormal and psychics seems rather like sensationalism and I feel disappointed with Dr. Phil. I just hpe this isn't a sign of things to come. Just had to state my opinion.      Respectfully, D.

Quote From: michael_s

I don't know why our society is so sensitive about how people being up their children. It is not the teachers job to punish the children but should be done by the parents. My parents broke wooden spoons and wooden yard sticks on my brothers and myself let alone their hands. I DO NOT think this is abuse! If the child deserves it, it should be done. Children recover from that within hours but they do remember why they were punished in that manner and will unlikely do it again. If you people think the kids will turn out bat, you are wrong. My brothers and myself are all married, have kids and are succesful in our work. We punish our children in the same manner that we were brought up. Some of these kids are in college and are doing extremely well.There is a time and place for this and should not be called abuse.

Quote From: ncrainydays

 Dr. Phil talked to the parents after the puppet show and the drawing experiment (without touching).  The parents received a long entailed parenting tip.  However, why didn't Dr. Phil come down on those kids especial Noah and Ethan for the horrible behavior???  Noah and Ethan needs at least one spanking a day and something they really like taken away...  Dr. Phil should have gone in and rewarded the children who obeyed the rules with some of the items ont he table.  He should have also realize that Noah has a bad anger problem.  He not only goes after his Mom but other children as well as documented by his suspension from school.  Hey Dr. Phil, I agree the parents need work, but sometimes they need more than just a good talking.  Oh, but wait this Noah will call Child Services.....it's not always the children telling the truth but they are always believed.   Dr. Phil, next week, lets see you take some action with the children and reward the ones who did as they were told at the drawing session...  Give Noah and Ethan a fake lolly and put them in a corner.  BTW:  I was spanked, I spanked my kids and they have turned out great....  Great job, great family.......     I understand your conception, but talking doesn NOT always work with some children....