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Messages By: amcdaniel1969

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January 30, 2007, 8:33 pm CST

Shoule I stay Or should I go/It depends

I think that Dr. Phil was correct in the advice that he gave.  It certainly seemed to be on target and was mindful of the feelings that the guests seemed to be conveying. Its survivable and it may make for a better stronger marriage.  After so many years, I say its worth the fight.
 
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October 27, 2007, 7:10 pm CDT

Utterly disgusting

For educators to take our trust and stomp on it in such a haneous inexscusable way is unbelievably and utterly disgusting.  When you are entrusted with the care and education of our most precious resource for this country's future you negate that when you take advantage of someone that really does not conceive the ramifications of what they are engaging in. Don't get me wrong I am certain that there are some children under the age of eighteen that wish to argue that they understand what sex is, but I say they dont know the overwhelming emotional place of anguish that these adults are placing them in.  It is unacceptable and rather the perpetrator is male or female they should be in and in my mind under the jail. This gives good teachers a bad reputation and the perpetrators should be ashamed of their rediculous behavior.  Why cant these people find someone that is their age? They need to get a clue, I can guarantee you that as a home day care provider that stays home so that I can be easily accessible to my children I talk to them constantly about what is appropiate and inapprpiate interaction with anyone especially adults and If for any reason any individual especially an educator crosses the line, I will do my best to ensure that they are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law with every waking breath taking moment of my life and then some.
 
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October 29, 2007, 6:47 am CDT

PARENT TRAP

If you have been determined by DNA evidence that a child is not your own and is indeed someone else's you should not have to pay child support.  I realize the government is strapped for money, however this should not play any part in having someone that has not fathered a child pay for the child.  Certainly the needs of the child comes first.  The mother should know who the father of her child or children is. Just because someone is married or was married or in a relationship at the time should not suggest that they should take care of the child if there was an affair. This law (which exists in some states)  should be re-examined and if a mother knowingly claimed a man is the father of their child and they are not they should in my opinion be prosecuted.

 
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November 16, 2007, 12:13 am CST

inlaw blues

Quote From: jovigirl62

I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT 10 YEARS FROM NOW, JAY CAN LOOK BESIDE HIM AND THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO HIM WILL NOT BE MICHELLE( HIS FUTURE BRIDE) IT WILL BE HIS MOTHER! I THINK THE WAY HE TREATED HIS MOTHER WAS A SHAME! MICHELLE IS A EVIL PERSON TO COME BETWEEN A MOTHER AND HER SON! MOTHER IN-LAWS CAN BE A PAIN IN THE BUTT, BUT SHE DOES NOT DESERVES THIS TREATMENT FROM HER SON! GOOD LUCK TO JANE, I WISH HER ALL THE BEST, AND SHAME ON YOU JAY!

Well I have been married for nearly eighteen years and I get where these two are...on the wrong side of the coin.  Michelle is not very nice and I am glad that I took the high ground and went above and beyond to ensure that my realtionship with my mother in law is cool.  Its is not the best, but she will always be his mother and if I sat around pointing fingers and yelling I would be alone.  Boys become mean and leave their parents for someone else....they cleave to that person...so yes he should stand up to Michelle but he should also stand up to his mother and say...calm down that's enough out of the both of you...I love you and this is just the way it is...if its a mistake its his to make...perhaps if he says that to his mom things would have been better...I hope they solve this  problem
 
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November 27, 2007, 11:56 am CST

A husband's shocking confessions, 1,2, & 3

My goodness what a lot of complications to muddle through.  Are the children safe? Who was really the priorit y here in regards to safety? What was the wife thinking staying there like that? She should have asked for assistance to protect her and her children earlier on...at the very onset of his confessing such violent actions.  I really understand the mind of the victim...she is a victim...it was just sad...I felt for her and I hope that they figure this all out and that Dr. Phil assists the children as well. I am glad he kept them out of the lime light that way they cant be exploited by the media.
 
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February 22, 2008, 9:45 pm CST

Behind Closed Doors

I think Dr. Phil did an awesomely astounding job getting the word out about pediphiles and the type of parent that may not want to do anything regarding it.  When I was molested as a child I told my mother and believe me it was immediately handled and I received immedicate care.  While I had some nightmares because I chose to put those memories deep in my subconcious, she was very prepared and ready for me.  She gave me absolute love and attention...she held me and told me it was not my fault...it was from a family member (a first cousin/female by marriage) and she subsequently left that family for her husband physically abusing her. It was within a short time frame, I thank God for her dedication to not only me but my brother as well.  She did like Dr. Phil said, it did not matter that we did not have a pot to P*** in or a window to throw it out of, our safety came first.  Forgiveness helped me and I pray that that young woman can someday forgive her mother for not acting in the way that she should have.  Its a sad thing, when a mother can put her own financial needs before the safety of her children.
 
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September 2, 2008, 8:34 am CDT

What about the children/custody chaos

I am a grown up that has survived two divorces as a child, I have never known my father and that's a shame he missed out on a great kid and that was his choice...he is a grown up, he was at the time he fathered me and he should have been man enough to take care of his responsibility that he helped to create.   Dr. Phil was so right in regards to the children needing to be the primary concern for both parents.  They in my opinion could not be more wrong about each other.  I see both of them as wanting to be right about their own particular points of views.  I think that the father does need some help of a health care professional or parenting classes at the very least, the mother could utilze some help in that regard as well.  From what I noted the father seems to struggle with some grips of reality of what is safe or not safe for the children and what is acceptable in regards to comments to them about their clothing (the grandma panty thing seemed to be in poor taste, but I was not there; he may just have been making an off handed comment, which was also inappropiate).  I grew up around guns and I never played with them, we were educated about them, we knew they were for hunting...I completely agreed with Dr. Phil about educating your children about firearms in a responsible way. Some stuff seemed to be over the top or rather over-reactions, but both parents are justly concerned, there needs to be a mediator of some type other wise the children will resent one parent or the other because they are going to say things individually bad about the other and that is just not good.  As parents we want to model good behavior on all fronts of our relationships and someone needs to step back and say hey we need help in this situation that is going to benefit us and our children and the other needs to get on board with that program. The truth of the matter is this, there is no such thing as a perfect parent and we all need help at some time or the other to be better parents and there's no shame in that.  In the words of my grandparents..."when you know better, you do better".
 
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September 2, 2008, 8:38 am CDT

09/01 Custody Chaos

Quote From: chriskramar

Amen!

 

Kids are better off with one stable parent, versus having a parent who is immature and destructive in their lives.

 

More thought and attention needs to be given to the emotional ages of parents in these situations and their capacity to make rational reasoned decisions in the best interest of their children.  My ex is not mature enough to manage his life and get the mental help that he needs, nor is the mother of my stepson.  But the court has a warm and fuzzy fantasy that somehow one type of parenting is equal to the other.

 

Its an unrealistic fantasy.  Until the courts have the ability to enforce parenting and counseling classes (without costing the other parent a fortune to enforce orders) there will continue to be irresponsible parents who get their warm and fuzzy time without doing what is best and appropriate for the children.

 

We can spend literally thousands of dollars enforcing what is written on paper but you can't make the other parent grow up or become more responsible.

 

My own mother got custody of us when we were young.  She has an emotional age which runs from anywhere between 12 and 16.  She was our "best friend" and had little personal self control.  I can't explain how hard this was on me to feel like there was no security because she had no self discipline and would let things go until she would SNAP. I benefitted being the oldest child and got myself the hell out of there at 17, but my siblings have not done as well. But due to her lack of maturity and narcissistic operating there was no way that my parents could have shared custody either without putting everything through even more hell.

 

50/50 custody is an invitation to keep the chaos going when you deal with someone who is emotionally immature (not that they ever see it in themselves) and can't get over it.

I think that you have it in regards to perhaps the father not being in the picture for now.  But he is still the father and he may just need some kind of mediator to help facilitate parenting tips etc and a mental health provider.  Dont count him out because he seems "off".  He is still their father and the medical profession has yet to say he is a danger to society or them at this point.  No matter what anyone says...it takes two to raise the children...we dont get to pick our parents and they dont get to check out because times are difficult they need to get help and that is all there is to it.
 

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