Messages By: swtbbw2

So glad you posted this story.  I think women who are dating younger men and are paying for everything in the relationship definitely need to take this story to heart.  Last year I was in a "relationship" with a man 6 years younger than myself.  I was 39 at the time.  He was looking for a job when I met him but as the months passed it was clear that he was feeding off of me.  I knew it from day one but at the time I met him I was extremely depressed and disheartened with the dating scene.  In both the bar scene and in internet dating men much younger would always approach/message me and I would always turn them down, knowing that they were too young for me.  I was often approached by men in their late 20s who thought I was in my early 30s even though I was almost 40.  For me, it wasn't about not wanting to date someone my own age, it was about the fact that most men my age NEVER approached me in these meet and greet situations.   I found that through internet dating it was either men younger or significantly older (i.e. 50+) who I frankly looked older to me than my dad.  I to tired of either the 26 or 52 year old guys and needed to have someone more permanent in my life so I justified in my mind that 6 years younger isn't really that much younger anyway and that this could potentially develop into a serious relationship.   

It started with off with me paying for the grocery bills and then it came down to him asking me at first for essential items but eventually he started to ask for things that I would consider to be non-essential items.  Just like your aunt, he was trying to get me into investing in some "private" fund and I always had an eery feeling about it so I backed out of that.  I finally decided to leave him because beyond the financial issues there were abuse issues and cheating issues as well.  I'm glad God gave me the strength to leave him.  Although some people would say I caused my own misery, I would like them to stop for a moment and imagine their lives alone for over 7 years, no children, nothing.  It's really tough.  I'm sure there are people stronger than me out there, but at that time I just couldn't bear it anymore, especially when everyone I knew was either married, going on to start a family or had boyfriends.  I think that's why sometimes we know what we're doing isn't really that smart but we do it because our emotions take over our logic at that point in time.

 Would I still date a younger man?  Yes, because I think an older man could pull the same stunt too.  How much younger is an issue for me personally and not because my friends don't think it's a good idea but I believe that significant age difference whether OLDER or YOUNGER will pose problems if my goal is a long-term relationship in most cases.